The Student Room Group

Narcissistic mothers

Hi I’m keira I’m 14 and I live with a narcissistic mother my dad and nan don’t want me and I’m struggling with pretty much anything u can think of I would like to be put into a foster home because I am so scared of hurting the people I love or my self could someone tell me how I could do that
(edited 3 years ago)

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Original post by Keiralacey2005
Hi I’m keira I’m 14 and I live with a narcissistic mother my dad and nan don’t want me and I’m struggling with pretty much anything u can think of I would like to be put into a foster home because I am so scared of hurting the people I love or my self could someone tell me how I could do that

hey how much is the narcissism affecting you that you wanna move out at age 14? is it that bad? xx (not saying that it isn't, just give some more info plss)
(edited 3 years ago)
Defo seek some eternal help to help with the first issue to help your self esteem- you'll just have to learn to live with your mother and just avoid confrontation when possible
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by vix.xvi
hey how much is the narcissism affecting you that you wanna move out at age 14? is it that bad? xx (not saying that it isn't, just give some more info plss)

It can be very hard for people who are victims of narcissistic abuse to accurately decibel or explain their feelings. But narcissism can affect people very badly, to the point of self harming and wanting to end their own lives. OP shouldn’t have to give you any details they don’t want to, the fact that they’re asking how to go in for foster care is evident enough that it’s affecting badly.
Original post by Anonymous
It can be very hard for people who are victims of narcissistic abuse to accurately decibel or explain their feelings. But narcissism can affect people very badly, to the point of self harming and wanting to end their own lives. OP shouldn’t have to give you any details they don’t want to, the fact that they’re asking how to go in for foster care is evident enough that it’s affecting badly.

ok sorry i wasnt aware of this
thanks for letting me know

OP u don't hv to give info if u don't want to..dont feel pressured
Original post by nobleevils44
Defo seek some eternal help to help with the first issue to help your self esteem- you'll just have to learn to live with your mother and just avoid confrontation when possible

Why should they have to learn to live with emotional abuse that’s affecting them so badly? If it were physical abuse you wouldn’t tell them to learn to live with it and just seek internal help to deal with the issue? They need support. They need to get out of that environment as people with narcissism don’t accept help and don’t change. Why should OP have to go through this?
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by vix.xvi
ok sorry i wasnt aware of this
thanks for letting me know

OP u don't hv to give info if u don't want to..dont feel pressured


It’s no problem :smile: I don’t mean to come as rude or attacking you or anything
Original post by Anonymous
Why should they have to learn to live with emotional abuse that’s affecting them so badly? If it were physical abuse you wouldn’t tell them to learn to live with it and just seek internal help to deal with the issue? They need support. They need to get out of that environment as people with narcissism don’t accept help and don’t change. Why should OP have to go through this?

i've been through a similar situation and did the whole running away from home thing. Ended up coming home four days later, hungry, cold and ashamed. Instead of being immature I actually talked with them after the whole drama and we learned to respect each other's boundaries/our flaws - running away isn't smart dude. Seek help and learn to grow from it
(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 8
Original post by Keiralacey2005
Hi I’m keira I’m 14 and I live with a narcissistic mother my dad and nan don’t want me and I’m struggling with pretty much anything u can think of I would like to be put into a foster home because I am so scared of hurting the people I love or my self could someone tell me how I could do that

You could call social services if the situation is really that bad? Or tell a teacher and they will be obliged to contact social services if your home life is a concern.
Just be aware that once you do this you can't undo it again and may not have much control about what happens.
(edited 3 years ago)
But I have a social worker
So should I talk to them
Reply 10
Original post by Keiralacey2005
But I have a social worker
So should I talk to them

Yes, definitely.
Original post by nobleevils44
i've been through a similar situation and did the whole running away from home thing. Ended up coming home four days later, hungry, cold and ashamed. Instead of being immature I actually talked with them and we learned to respect each other's boundaries/our flaws - running away isn't smart dude. Seek help and learn to grow from it

You’ve been through a similar situation but a true narcissistic parent doesn’t recognise boundaries. They see their children as property and treat them like objects. They believe they have all rights to their children because they view them as an extension of themselves. They have no respect for boundaries and cannot be reasoned with. Any attempt to reason with them or ask them to respect your boundaries results in what’s called narcissistic rage. OP shouldn’t run away from home but that’s not what they’re asking. They’re thinking it through, they’re asking how to go into foster care and seek help from social services, not run away from without any support or without a plan. But I am sorry you had to experience what you did and I hope you’re doing ok now
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
It’s no problem :smile: I don’t mean to come as rude or attacking you or anything

yeah no worries
Original post by Keiralacey2005
But I have a social worker
So should I talk to them

Definitely talk to them
theres a chance you can go to ashdene ridge
Reply 15
Original post by Keiralacey2005
Hi I’m keira I’m 14 and I live with a narcissistic mother my dad and nan don’t want me and I’m struggling with pretty much anything u can think of I would like to be put into a foster home because I am so scared of hurting the people I love or my self could someone tell me how I could do that

You could ring the childline number and explain your situation to them. They’ll most likely get you in touch with some social worker that can look at options for you including foster care if that’s really what you think is best for you.
(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 16
hi you can speak to them tomorrow morning, anonymously https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/1-2-1-counsellor-chat/
Original post by Anonymous
You’ve been through a similar situation but a true narcissistic parent doesn’t recognise boundaries. They see their children as property and treat them like objects. They believe they have all rights to their children because they view them as an extension of themselves. They have no respect for boundaries and cannot be reasoned with. Any attempt to reason with them or ask them to respect your boundaries results in what’s called narcissistic rage. OP shouldn’t run away from home hut that’s not what they’re asking. They’re thinking it through, they’re asking how to go into foster care and seek help from social services, not run away from without any support or without a plan. But I am sorry you had to experience what you did and I hope you’re doing ok now

Oh that's fair enough, didn't realise how bad it was to have a narcissistic parent I thought it was more to do with being stubborn/self absorbed wasn't informed on it well enough. If they have another parent they should defo discus the situation with them before resorting to social services since life in care can be really rough especially for a teen. ( Also Thanks for your sympathy, the whole thing defo helped me mature into an adult)
Original post by Anonymous
You’ve been through a similar situation but a true narcissistic parent doesn’t recognise boundaries. They see their children as property and treat them like objects. They believe they have all rights to their children because they view them as an extension of themselves. They have no respect for boundaries and cannot be reasoned with. Any attempt to reason with them or ask them to respect your boundaries results in what’s called narcissistic rage. OP shouldn’t run away from home hut that’s not what they’re asking. They’re thinking it through, they’re asking how to go into foster care and seek help from social services, not run away from without any support or without a plan. But I am sorry you had to experience what you did and I hope you’re doing ok now

This.
Original post by nobleevils44
Oh that's fair enough, didn't realise how bad it was to have a narcissistic parent I thought it was more to do with being stubborn/self absorbed wasn't informed on it well enough. If they have another parent they should defo discus the situation with them before resorting to social services since life in care can be really rough especially for a teen. ( Also Thanks for your sympathy, the whole thing defo helped me mature into an adult)


But I have and they don’t understand nor want me

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