emotionally attached to teacher/struggling with mental health

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#1
hi, for a bit of context I've just left sixth form, I've been at the same school for the last 7 yrs, I had a hard time settling in back in yr 7 as I was always an anxious person, in yr 8 I had this teacher who was really good and they went the extra mile to make me feel more comfortable in class

(i had social anxiety and he put me next to someone to make me feel more confident, i became friends with that person and we had so many laughts)

fast forward to year 11, i started really struggling with my mental health and he was the only teacher who noticed my behaviour had changed (quiet in class, being tired alot) so at the end of the yr i opened up to him and he helped me tell my mum.

i went to sixth form at the same schl, this was Sep 2018, and i noticed that i would always feel like i needed to talk to him and then i noticed i was attached to him cause he helped me a lot and he was caring when i needed someone to be there for me, when i started secondary schl my relationship with my parents changed, i became distant with them and i felt different/odd one out because i had alot of issues and i felt like they didnt understand my anxiety) i became attached to him cause i didnt feel as cared for during this time cause i distanced msyelf from my parents.

the thing is yesterday on results day i saw the same teacher. throughout sixth form, he stopped helping me /responding to my emails when i needed someone to speak to when I was struggling with my anxiety/low mood. the thing is I know he cares because he was happy when i got good results, the thing is that I still feel emotionally attached and find it hard to let go of the past and find it hard to stop thinking about how bad sixth form had turned out and I'm scared I'm going to get attached to someone else

if anyone has read to this point, thanks so much, i need advice on letting go and how to stop being attached to someone after years, sorry if this is jumbled up, any advice is much appreciated x
0
reply
harleynotquinn
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 months ago
#2
hiya,
i'm so sorry you feel this way - i know how hard it feels to have people who you feel attached to put boundaries around themselves! honestly, as hard as it may seem to let your attachment go, from what you said about him being happy for you at results day but not responding to emails as he did before, i would suspect that either a. he believes that now he has seen you open up to him about how you are feeling and subsequently deal with what you were struggling with in the lower school years, he has no reason to help you anymore as you are coping well on your own, or b. he's realised that as a teacher, he needs to set boundaries between himself and you, a pupil.
as cliche as it might seem, have you thought about speaking to any friends, counsellors or even a gp about your feelings or moments of anxiety? as someone recovering from anxiety myself, during lockdown i've also started making a bullet journal/diary where i write about things that i'm anxious about and get all my thoughts down onto paper, as well as things that i want to do, places i want to go etc. that turn my anxiety into excitement for the future. (i have a page at the back of my journal where i've written a list of random things that make me happy - you'd be surprised at how much this can cheer you up after a rough time!)
it's so hard to let people go when they've had such a great influence in your life, but i would remember the teacher that helped you for the assistance that he gave you years before when you needed help most, instead of being upset over the distance now between you. now you've left sixth form, you'll be able to meet new people to form attachments with!
if you ever need anyone to talk to, do feel free to dm me - i'll always be happy to listen
hope i could help!
h
0
reply
Yas031119
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 months ago
#3
what a good person he must've been, i'm glad to hear he helped you when you were struggling, i understand it's hard to let go of someone who was such a great source of support for you :console:
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#4
(Original post by harleynotquinn)
hiya,
i'm so sorry you feel this way - i know how hard it feels to have people who you feel attached to put boundaries around themselves! honestly, as hard as it may seem to let your attachment go, from what you said about him being happy for you at results day but not responding to emails as he did before, i would suspect that either a. he believes that now he has seen you open up to him about how you are feeling and subsequently deal with what you were struggling with in the lower school years, he has no reason to help you anymore as you are coping well on your own, or b. he's realised that as a teacher, he needs to set boundaries between himself and you, a pupil.
as cliche as it might seem, have you thought about speaking to any friends, counsellors or even a gp about your feelings or moments of anxiety? as someone recovering from anxiety myself, during lockdown i've also started making a bullet journal/diary where i write about things that i'm anxious about and get all my thoughts down onto paper, as well as things that i want to do, places i want to go etc. that turn my anxiety into excitement for the future. (i have a page at the back of my journal where i've written a list of random things that make me happy - you'd be surprised at how much this can cheer you up after a rough time!)
it's so hard to let people go when they've had such a great influence in your life, but i would remember the teacher that helped you for the assistance that he gave you years before when you needed help most, instead of being upset over the distance now between you. now you've left sixth form, you'll be able to meet new people to form attachments with!
if you ever need anyone to talk to, do feel free to dm me - i'll always be happy to listen
hope i could help!
h
thanks x

its just hard to not get attached to people
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Current uni students - are you thinking of dropping out of university?

Yes, I'm seriously considering dropping out (150)
14.78%
I'm not sure (44)
4.33%
No, I'm going to stick it out for now (303)
29.85%
I have already dropped out (26)
2.56%
I'm not a current university student (492)
48.47%

Watched Threads

View All