The Student Room Group

for anyone feeling that their life isn't going anywhere

Over the past 6 years, I've managed to turn my life around completely and would like to explain how I did it and what lessons I've learned; as I see alot of problems in this forum that mirror my own problems, and I want to let other people know that there is another way, no matter how dark their life may seem at the moment. I can appreciate that this thread may seem like I'm blowing my own trumpet but I'm really not, I'm just trying to illustrate the huge constrast between the 'old' me and the 'new' me.

I finished High school in 2002 with mostly poor GCSE grades, with the odd exception. My ambition was to be in the Royal Navy but I failed my medical twice and to compound my misery, my father passed away and my first girlfriend dumped me. As I pinned all my hopes on the Navy and never expected to fail my medical, I missed my window of opportunity to enroll on a college course. I couldn't get a Job because I had no experience and I was extremely shy, with low confidence and self esteem. Things were pretty bleak.

In January 2003, my mother enrolled me on the Prince's Trust 12 week self-development course and it literally turned my life around, although I didn't know it at the time. It gave me confidence, ambition and self-belief. Upon completing the course, I was inspired to volunteer full time in a British Heart Foundation charity shop as I wanted to maintain my new found confidence and get valuable work experience. (I would never have volunteered had I not done the Prince's Trust and prior to doing the course, doing something as simple as serving customers would have left me physically shaking.)

In September 2003, I enrolled on a BTEC National Diploma in Public and Uniformed Services at College. At school, I never worked hard and always aimed for a pass as the big grades were beyond someone like me, being from a working class background. Nevertheless the Prince's Trust had changed my perspective and I gave it my best shot. I earned a Distinction in 17 out of 18 modules and achieved an overall Distinction, which is equivalent to three As at A Level. I also secured my first paid Job whilst at college, something my voluntary work had helped me with greatly.

As a result of my college grades, my tutors persuaded me to further my education and in 2005, I enrolled on an LLB Law Degree at Liverpool John Moore's University. Despite living in commuting distance of Liverpool, I chose to move into student accomodation as I wanted to learn how to look after myself. The death of my father at 16, woke me up to the fact that my parents weren't going to live forever and I had to become independent.

During University, I volunteered as a High school mentor as I wanted to help others learn from my mistakes, I also represented my University at the National Student Volunteering Conference in 2006 and volunteered one day a week on the Medical Assessment Unit of a local hospital. The Prince's Trust taught me to grasp any opportunities that came my way so when I was offered to do an ECDL Computing course for free in my spare time, I had no hesitation in completing it.

In the summer vacation preceding my final year, I lived in America for three months and worked at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, where I completed the International College Program. This was the best summer of my life and yet it is something I would never have dared to do without the confidence that the Prince's Trust gave me. I felt physically sick the day I was due to fly out, it was a huge risk travelling to another country I'd never been to before, on my own, and not knowing what to expect; but the risk paid off handsomely. I have some great memories from that trip which will live with me forever. Memories that the old me would never have had.

On Wednesday 23rd July 2008, I graduated from University with a 2.1 LLB Law Degree with Honours, after the three hardest years of my life. I had alot of setbacks along the way, from considering dropping out in my first year, to getting mugged and hospitalised during my second year. I got attacked by the same people again during my third year and my step father who I idolised, passed away after a long battle with Cancer, before my final University exams.

When you are down on the floor outnumbered, and getting your head stamped on, and you don't leave the house without fearing for your life, you begin to wonder what the point in life is. What is the point in doing all of this studying at university if I'm just going to get killed tomorrow?! what's the point in anything?

You just have to deal with what life throws at you, I've always had these doubts, I still get them today, no matter how much the Prince's Trust inspired me. It's inevitable. I felt like I was walking on air when I completed the Prince's Trust but after a while, life inevitably grinds you down and it's hard to keep that sort of enthusiasm up all of the time. It's important to keep yourself inspired on a daily basis, surround yourself with positive things.

Anyway Graduation was the produest day of my life, I'd achieved what my dad had always wanted me to and I've never seen my mum look so proud. She was so deleriously happy that I actually thought she was drunk. I felt like a million dollars in my cap and gown, even if I did look a bit like Superman. Moments like that, are what make life worth living.

I spent three years at University thinking I was going nowhere, why am I doing this? I'm doing hours and hours of studying and reading and for what? I often felt like dropping out, I didn't feel like I was going anywhere but that one day made all the difference. I'm so glad I never dropped out, if anyone is thinking of dropping out, please give it serious consideration, as you can achieve more than you think you can. Like Henry Ford said: 'If you think you can or you can't, you're right'

My life has been a huge fairytale since the Prince's Trust (with the odd nightmare chucked in) and it doesn't end there. I wrote a letter to Prince Charles to personally thank him for saving my life (I'd either be dead, in gaol or in a dead end Job with no prospects had I not done the Trust), and got a personal reply, first from his secretary and then from him. I even had doubts about that, I thought to myself, why would he want to know about me or why would he waste his time replying to me? He did though. Someone once said (I don't know who) 'our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt' It's so true

I sent an email to Fiona Phillips as I was getting tired of the negative outlook the media always has and she wrote an article about me in the Daily Mirror Newspaper! I couldn't believe it, I handed my mum the newspaper and she was scanning the pages looking for a tiny one line section and then I pointed out that I was in the main article. The look on her face was priceless.

The online version of the Article can be viewed here: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/columnists/phillips/2008/07/12/inspired-by-mike-s-message-of-hope-115875-20640586/

As a result of this article, I've been approached by the Prince's Trust and asked to become an ambassador for the Charity. They are writing a case study up on me which could potentially be used for newspaper, radio or tv advertising. And to think, one email achieved this! It took me a week to send that e-mail though as I had doubts.

Whilst the Prince's Trust improved my confidence immensely, it's something I still need to work on, which is why I did a Tall Ships Youth Trust voyage in Norway in August. The Tall Ships Youth Trust teach young people how to sail at sea and they place a big emphasis on personal development. Disney was the best summer of my life and Tall Ships was the best week of my life, without a doubt. I seen some amazing sights, met some even more amazing people and took the helm of a 7 million pound ship in open sea.

The best part of the trip for me was climbing to the top mast. I've always had a fear of heights, I remember abseiling when ten years old on a PGL adventure school trip and I was paralysed with fear. It took me half an hour longer than everyone else to get down. Climbing the mast scared the hell out of me as it was a hell of alot higher and attached to a moving ship. I knew I had to do it though as that mast represented all of the fears and failures in my life and I knew if I couldn't climb it, I couldn't do any of the other things holding me back in life; so I was up that mast faster than a rat up a ******pipe!

So here we are at the present day, I can't give all the credit to the Prince's trust (although that accounts for about 90%) but one man has really really helped me-Geoff Thompson. His book, Fear-the friend of exceptional people has really inspired me and I've read every single one of his articles on the must read articles section of his website and the advice is gold dust. I can't recommend it enough and it's free!

As for the future, I'm taking a year out and working full time to try and save the course fee I need to enrol on the Legal Practice Course which will enable me to become a solicitor. When I become a solicitor, I want to become the best one that there is, I'm that motivated. I might not be but I'm certainly going to try, we only have one shot at life so we might as well aim big. Like they say in fight club: 'this is your life and it's ending one minute at a time' I want to cram in as much as I can into every minute.

But I'm not perfect, I make mistakes all the time and have days where I can't be assed doing anything but I recognise that and I'm working on improving upon it. I really hope that this post can inspire someone. No matter how bad your life is at the moment, there is always a way out, Lance Armstrong said pain and loss are great enhancers. I've managed to turn my once crap and depressing life into something beyond my wildest dreams. All it took, was a 12 week course and I'm only 22, I've still got more of my life to live and I hope to add even more amazing chapters to it.

Even if your life is going okay at the moment, there is bound to be something in your life which isn't quite right or can be changed. Maybe you're in the wrong Job or the wrong relationship or you haven't passed your driving test yet. Get yourself motivated and go out there and hunt down your demons and do all the things you've dreamed of doing, no matter how impossible those dreams may be. It's hard, I won't lie to you and say it is easy but it's just as hard to spend your life being stuck in a rut and not moving forward. At least if you make your life hard by doing things you enjoy and progressing, you'll reap the rewards.

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That reads very fairy tale indeed... congratulations. :smile: I just hope I can motivate myself as much as you have in entire life. :biggrin: It has to be said though that I have, and I'm not just touching wood but effin' hugging it here, not as yet had a major setback in my life as you have. If you've been swimming in a storm towards a beach, all I've been doing is piddling in the paddling pool.
Reply 2
This isn't an advert? Yeah, right. :s-smilie:
Reply 3
Good for you? Want a cookie?
well played mate , played
Well done mate, and shut the hell up to the people who suggest otherwise.
Reply 6
It's nice to hear from someone with a positive attitude who is just getting on with life how they want it to be.
Reply 7
Crimson Black
That reads very fairy tale indeed... congratulations. :smile: I just hope I can motivate myself as much as you have in entire life. :biggrin: It has to be said though that I have, and I'm not just touching wood but effin' hugging it here, not as yet had a major setback in my life as you have. If you've been swimming in a storm towards a beach, all I've been doing is piddling in the paddling pool.

You can do anything you put your mind to, honestly. The major thing holding me back in life has been my doubts. I never thought I was good enough at school because I came from a working class background and was surrounded by people with similar aspirations to me. The Prince's Trust changed my thoughts (Ghandi said, if you can change your thoughts, you can change the world) and I started believing in myself. There is so many people out there with so much potential but they never realize it because of their doubts.

I'm taking a year out at the moment (for various reasons) and I'm currently working at McDonald's (although I've handed my notice in today-I'll get to that in a minute) and I was sat in the crew room on my break the other day, and me and this lad were watching tele. An advert for the Army came on television and he was like 'I'd love to do that', I was like 'why don't you?' he was like 'I'm not fit enough' so I'm like 'why don't you start training then? Do you know what I mean? You get people who spend 30 years in a Job and never even challenge for promotion! Now don't get me wrong, I'm not disrespecting them, in fact I admire them for their devotion and perserverance but their just treading water in life and not moving forward.

I think people need to break away from that.
Reply 8
serrellen
This isn't an advert? Yeah, right. :s-smilie:

Yes and No. I'm not being paid to advertise this, I'm doing it of my own accord. I want to help people who have been in similar situations to myself. And if name dropping the Prince's Trust and Tall Ships Youth Trust which are both registered charities, is considered advertising, then I can live with that. I can understand your suspicion as there are alot of trolls on forums but honestly, I'm not one of them. I've posted a link to prove what I'm saying and if you require any further evidence of what I'm saying, you can add me to facebook and I'll provide photographic evidence if necessary.
Reply 9
Rock n Roll
Good for you? Want a cookie?

The best gift you can give me is by being inspired by the advice yourself or spreading the word. If neither appeal to you, I'll settle for a chocolate chip cookie or a Blue Peter Badge-can always sell it on E-bay :biggrin:
Reply 10
Mr_Steve_Stifler
Well done mate, and shut the hell up to the people who suggest otherwise.

Thank you but the thread isn't really about me (even though it more or less is!) I just want to try and help people, like I've been helped. If there is one thing I've learnt, it is this:

Sir Whinston Churchill said:

'Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.'

I'm guilty of that, I've ignored it because life is hard. It's hard to change and to grow in confidence or go college or uni or whatever it is in life that is challenging you. If everything was easy, we would all be rich successful people. The sooner people become adjusted to doing 'hard' things, the better their lifes will become.
Reply 11
Mr_Steve_Stifler
Well done mate, and shut the hell up to the people who suggest otherwise.

by the way, that is a sweet quote in your signature! I'll be adding it to my collection for sure, I've been collecting inspiring/motivating quotes for the past 5 years. I'll send you the wordpad if you want it.
Reply 12
Nice one mate. I'm applyin for Disney this year by the way, glad to hear you enjoyed it!
x
libertine861
by the way, that is a sweet quote in your signature! I'll be adding it to my collection for sure, I've been collecting inspiring/motivating quotes for the past 5 years. I'll send you the wordpad if you want it.



Yeah I'll take you up on that offer. Just PM me the stuff lol (unless its in physically written form of course)
Reply 14
Good for you son :biggrin: You've inspired me to quit uni and join the navy, then become a disney character. :yep:
Reply 15
em165
Nice one mate. I'm applyin for Disney this year by the way, glad to hear you enjoyed it!
x

What role are you applying for? I worked in Outdoor Foods. Good luck with it, it's an amazing experience! if you need any advice or questions regarding it, just PM me.
Reply 16
Usman938
Good for you son :biggrin: You've inspired me to quit uni and join the navy, then become a disney character. :yep:

you've brought tears to my eyes :wink: unless your cruella :mad:
Reply 17
Mr_Steve_Stifler
Yeah I'll take you up on that offer. Just PM me the stuff lol (unless its in physically written form of course)

I have three wordpads, I'll send you them all. The first is what I call 'Power Quotes' (I basically have a quotes collection about 50 pages long but I've narrowed it down to the most inspiring ones), then I have a wordpad which is Geoff Thompson's Articles consolidated and condensed from about 150 pages to 4 pages (studying Law helped me greatly in this task!) and then I have what I call an 'Inspiring People' wordpad, it's basically quotes from a handful of inspiring people. Hopefully the Student Room will copy and paste them all via PM, if not, just let me know and I'll email them instead.
Reply 18
Good on you. :yep:
A lot of people spend their time complaining or sitting around wishing their life was better, so it's great to hear that you have actually gone out and turned things around.
I can definitely relate to what you've said about having doubts and not feeling you are good enough because I feel like that most of the time, but in the last 4 months I have started turning things round and I've started believing in myself more.
Reply 19
FizzBitch
Good on you. :yep:
A lot of people spend their time complaining or sitting around wishing their life was better, so it's great to hear that you have actually gone out and turned things around.
I can definitely relate to what you've said about having doubts and not feeling you are good enough because I feel like that most of the time, but in the last 4 months I have started turning things round and I've started believing in myself more.

tell us about it, be the proof that it works. Like Geoff Thompson said, it's no good taking diet advice from a fat life coach. The world needs people like you to prove that there is an alternative because everyone seems to be too hanged up concentrating on the negative aspects of life.