Making friends at university

Im starting university this year but im really worried about whether ill make friends. At school and sixth form i already knew people there however this year im going to be completely by myself. I sometimes get really anxious around new people and forget how to have any conversation. Im also a quiet person with a lack of confidence. Any advice?

Reply 1

username5371416

Original post by Anonymous

Hey, it’s completely fine to feel this way, especially with uni coming this close. But I promise you’ll be fine. You could think it of as everyone being in the same boat, just like you’ll be anxious to meet new people, but won’t directly say to them you’re anxious, others also feel the same way, but will be hiding that, like everyone is feeling the same way but no one would confess. And the friends you have now, you don’t remember how you became friends with them because it all happened over time and the same will happen in uni. People will be coming from all sorts of backgrounds looking forward to meet new people, you’re bound to make friends.
But I knkw, at the moment you’ll still continue to panic about it, it’s natural, but just take a day at a time, try distracting yourself. Once you’ve gone through meeting them for the first time you’ll genuinely feel so relieved

Reply 2

Mrdesi

Original post by Anonymous

Go with the flow. Things take time to ease into. I'm in the same pool as you, starting uni and I really want things to return back to normal.

A few tips I will recommend is and contrary to what you may be feeling. Just speak to everyone as everyone wants to get to know each other too as they don't know each other. Also, if the friendship doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be.

Reply 3

Mrdesi

Original post by zz2002

Exactly. Great point made!

Reply 4

elliemc24

Get stuck in with the freshers week events, if you're in uni accommodation there might be a facebook group up for your flat (I was in a group chat with 14/16 of mine before I arrived!). A lot of people will be feeling the same, and a lot will be in the same situation, being alone and away from people they know.
You'll do just fine ^.^

Reply 5

shebk

Don't worry, you will make new friends in university

Reply 6

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Hi @Anonymous,

It's completely normal to feel worried about making friends when starting university. I'm a first year student at Lancaster and I was really stressed before I started, because I'm quite socially anxious and bad with strangers.

However, it's really important to remember that everybody else is in the same boat! Although there will be some people who know each other from previous schools, the vast majority of people will also be completely on their own. The beauty of the first few weeks of university is that everything is aimed at helping you to get to know new people, and everyone will be really friendly and welcoming.

Although it may sound really scary, the best piece of advice is really just to put yourself out there. This doesn't mean that you have to walk up to every stranger you see and introduce yourself, or go clubbing every night with your flat, but simply to attend a few events that you're interested in, and keeping an open mind and a friendly facial expression. It's amazing how much a smile can do to make someone else want to initiate a conversation with you!

Freshers Week and the university experience may be different this year, so it's also worth considering to engage on the university group chats and social media channels. This may not be your cup of tea, but it might be the best way to meet a few new people until restrictions ease. If events in person happen, go and try some new societies, or attend different events. Similarly, it's okay to take some time just for yourself if you need it, such as having nights in and talking to your flat or your family.

I've written blogs here and here about the weeks building up to university for me, and my first week, which will hopefully give you an idea about the nerves that everybody goes through. Everyone else will also be feeling stressed, anxious and nervous, so please don't worry!

If you have any questions about starting university, I'd be happy to help!

Maria :smile:

1st year English Literature, Creative Writing and Practice (placement year)

Reply 7

University of Bradford

Official Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Hey!

It's completely normal to feel this way, there'll be so many other people in the same boat as you. I'd definitely recommend joining a club or society, that way you're around people who share a similar interest to you, which should hopefully make conversation that much easier :smile:

You could also look at volunteering opportunities, getting a part-time job at the uni, becoming a student ambassador etc as ways of meeting new people.

Sometimes tutors will hold ice breaker sessions in class, which can be a nice way of getting to know other people and starting a conversation with them.

I wish you all the best, I'm sure you'll have a fantastic university experience and meet some great people.

Becky

Reply 8