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Nice guys actually do finish last
Geez, I can't believe it! I thought it was a stupid saying and that by being nice I would find someone, but nice guys actually do finish last. What is up with that? Should I start being horrible to girls? I am so confused.
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Amen to that. Girls are always saying they want a nice guy, but you be nice to them and where do you end up? The Friend Zone. Seriously, mines practically a Friend Continent by now.
Stop being such a pussy.
Girls love nice guys. They just don't like boring guys.
Girls love nice guys. They just don't like boring guys.
There's a difference between an attractive nice guy, and a nice guy who's heart is in the right place, but has tons of emotional baggage.
Work on your self esteem and social skills. You'd be amazed at how differently you're treated.
Check this site out:
http://www.succeedsocially.com/
Also, check out Eckhart Tolle. He's a 'spiritual teacher', but don't immediately disregard it as being for hippies. He teaches you how to calm down and relax, have more confidence in yourself etc. He's pretty much my man crush to be honest; I listen to the guy all the time on my ipod and the results on my self esteem have been phenominal.
You can buy his CDs on amazon, or for informational purposes only I heard that you can torrent it. But don't do that because it's illegal
.
Ohhh and learn to flirt. If you talk like you're not interested then unless you're very attractive and they develop some kind of secret crush on you, you're boned. You can't just turn around months later and be all 'surprise! I have a penis!' after acting like one of their girlfriends for ages. Flirting from the second you meet them however forces them to think about you two together, and then it generally isn't as weird for them when you get around to asking them out or whatever. If you need any advice on that topic PM me.
I consider myself a nice guy, and girls are attracted to me. My treatment of them doesn't get any worse than telling them their face smells like gay. I'd never cheat, and I certainly wouldn't hit them. Don't go down that road.
Work on your self esteem and social skills. You'd be amazed at how differently you're treated.
Check this site out:
http://www.succeedsocially.com/
Also, check out Eckhart Tolle. He's a 'spiritual teacher', but don't immediately disregard it as being for hippies. He teaches you how to calm down and relax, have more confidence in yourself etc. He's pretty much my man crush to be honest; I listen to the guy all the time on my ipod and the results on my self esteem have been phenominal.
You can buy his CDs on amazon, or for informational purposes only I heard that you can torrent it. But don't do that because it's illegal
.Ohhh and learn to flirt. If you talk like you're not interested then unless you're very attractive and they develop some kind of secret crush on you, you're boned. You can't just turn around months later and be all 'surprise! I have a penis!' after acting like one of their girlfriends for ages. Flirting from the second you meet them however forces them to think about you two together, and then it generally isn't as weird for them when you get around to asking them out or whatever. If you need any advice on that topic PM me.
I consider myself a nice guy, and girls are attracted to me. My treatment of them doesn't get any worse than telling them their face smells like gay. I'd never cheat, and I certainly wouldn't hit them. Don't go down that road.
Redemption
Stop being such a pussy.
Girls love nice guys. They just don't like boring guys.
Girls love nice guys. They just don't like boring guys.
This man speaks truth. Don't be boring. Be exciting, perhaps by screaming for no apparent reason, or setting nearby wildlife on fire.
The problem is that "nice guys" generally try too hard to placate a woman to the point where I imagine it must become irritating and very vanilla for them. It's not that women like ****s (although this does sometimes appear to be the case), but yes, the strange "I can change him!" phenomenon is pretty prevalent in society.
To speak generally, I guess women probably want a nice guy who has a bit of a risky, cheeky edge to him to the point where it generates easy, spontaneous amusement. If a couple were simply posturing for each other and doing everything the other wants without any gentle teasing, things would just be incredibly boring I imagine.
I can speak from some experience, I guess. When I was young and naive several years ago, I attempted the whole "be nice as pie" thing - it doesn't work. It makes you look fawn-like and I guess, rather desperate. Go out there with a good opinion of yourself (although not to the point where it's flagrant egotism), and don't comprimise yourself to coincide with a woman - they'll probably respect you more if you have a dissenting opinion and are passionate enough to espouse it without fear of reprisals
(to put it bluntly, I argued the merits of Batman vs Spider-Man with a girl recently and didn't leave her room until the next morning, *ahem* 
)
I am one to defend the concept of the "Friend Zone", and it is true that women can be utterly feckless a lot of the time, but then unfortunately, the societal onus is still on the male to be the one to "make the move" in most cases.
The problem with the attitude of many "nice guys" is that they think they're owed something by simply being nice, and I guess it's rather self-evident to women they're trying to "pull" and such. The best thing you can do is be comortable with yourself and try and work down this complex that women are just after ****ers all the time.
I know this worked for me - I really made a conscious effort to just disconnect my bad experiences with women (i.e. being passed over for someone I saw as entirely inferior, as condescending as that sounds), and it pays off. I've certainly done well for myself in the last year, and I guess it just manifests itself really. A positive attitude within is going to be displayed to everyone else
Hope that wasn't too long/pretentious. Cheers guys. I know where you're coming from, but I guess I'm something of a "nice guy convert" (whilst not becoming a douchebag), so I feel that I should speak on this matter as someone of a little experience.
To speak generally, I guess women probably want a nice guy who has a bit of a risky, cheeky edge to him to the point where it generates easy, spontaneous amusement. If a couple were simply posturing for each other and doing everything the other wants without any gentle teasing, things would just be incredibly boring I imagine.
I can speak from some experience, I guess. When I was young and naive several years ago, I attempted the whole "be nice as pie" thing - it doesn't work. It makes you look fawn-like and I guess, rather desperate. Go out there with a good opinion of yourself (although not to the point where it's flagrant egotism), and don't comprimise yourself to coincide with a woman - they'll probably respect you more if you have a dissenting opinion and are passionate enough to espouse it without fear of reprisals
(to put it bluntly, I argued the merits of Batman vs Spider-Man with a girl recently and didn't leave her room until the next morning, *ahem* )I am one to defend the concept of the "Friend Zone", and it is true that women can be utterly feckless a lot of the time, but then unfortunately, the societal onus is still on the male to be the one to "make the move" in most cases.
The problem with the attitude of many "nice guys" is that they think they're owed something by simply being nice, and I guess it's rather self-evident to women they're trying to "pull" and such. The best thing you can do is be comortable with yourself and try and work down this complex that women are just after ****ers all the time.
I know this worked for me - I really made a conscious effort to just disconnect my bad experiences with women (i.e. being passed over for someone I saw as entirely inferior, as condescending as that sounds), and it pays off. I've certainly done well for myself in the last year, and I guess it just manifests itself really. A positive attitude within is going to be displayed to everyone else
Hope that wasn't too long/pretentious. Cheers guys. I know where you're coming from, but I guess I'm something of a "nice guy convert" (whilst not becoming a douchebag), so I feel that I should speak on this matter as someone of a little experience.
Okay - a girl's point of view. I have only ever dated "nice" guys, in that my parents would always approve, they've always treated me well and been generally nice people.
My ex was a nice guy in the same way I suspect you may be - he put me on a pedestal, agreed with everything I said and wasn't willing to have any opinions of his own in preference to my own. That was nice, but annoying after a short time.
My current boyfriend is a nice guy, but teases me, has disagreements of opinion and in general does not defer to me on every decision. Sometimes he makes his own :O!
I'd be willing to bet most girls want a nice guy. Just not a spineless guy.
My ex was a nice guy in the same way I suspect you may be - he put me on a pedestal, agreed with everything I said and wasn't willing to have any opinions of his own in preference to my own. That was nice, but annoying after a short time.
My current boyfriend is a nice guy, but teases me, has disagreements of opinion and in general does not defer to me on every decision. Sometimes he makes his own :O!
I'd be willing to bet most girls want a nice guy. Just not a spineless guy.
Poica
Okay - a girl's point of view. I have only ever dated "nice" guys, in that my parents would always approve, they've always treated me well and been generally nice people.
My ex was a nice guy in the same way I suspect you may be - he put me on a pedestal, agreed with everything I said and wasn't willing to have any opinions of his own in preference to my own. That was nice, but annoying after a short time.
My current boyfriend is a nice guy, but teases me, has disagreements of opinion and in general does not defer to me on every decision. Sometimes he makes his own :O!
I'd be willing to bet most girls want a nice guy. Just not a spineless guy.
My ex was a nice guy in the same way I suspect you may be - he put me on a pedestal, agreed with everything I said and wasn't willing to have any opinions of his own in preference to my own. That was nice, but annoying after a short time.
My current boyfriend is a nice guy, but teases me, has disagreements of opinion and in general does not defer to me on every decision. Sometimes he makes his own :O!
I'd be willing to bet most girls want a nice guy. Just not a spineless guy.
This echos very, very true for a girl I liked about 18 months ago. We clicked very well but I didn't really rock the boat so it just ended up a baseless string of statements that I agreed with. Or if we ever did debate, I'd always back down. I totally put her on a pedestal, and after much begging from me, I got her to admit she thought I was spineless, and we were fine - I just wanted to know it really, helped me change quite a lot really.
Shame really. If I hadn't missed the boat by being an invertebrate the first time around, I'm sure I would have been "in there", so to speak, as she was rather lovely.
asdasta
The problem is that "nice guys" generally try too hard to placate a woman to the point where I imagine it must become irritating and very vanilla for them. It's not that women like ****s (although this does sometimes appear to be the case), but yes, the strange "I can change him!" phenomenon is pretty prevalent in society.
To speak generally, I guess women probably want a nice guy who has a bit of a risky, cheeky edge to him to the point where it generates easy, spontaneous amusement. If a couple were simply posturing for each other and doing everything the other wants without any gentle teasing, things would just be incredibly boring I imagine.
I can speak from some experience, I guess. When I was young and naive several years ago, I attempted the whole "be nice as pie" thing - it doesn't work. It makes you look fawn-like and I guess, rather desperate. Go out there with a good opinion of yourself (although not to the point where it's flagrant egotism), and don't comprimise yourself to coincide with a woman - they'll probably respect you more if you have a dissenting opinion and are passionate enough to espouse it without fear of reprisals (to put it bluntly, I argued the merits of Batman vs Spider-Man with a girl recently and didn't leave her room until the next morning, *ahem* )
I am one to defend the concept of the "Friend Zone", and it is true that women can be utterly feckless a lot of the time, but then unfortunately, the societal onus is still on the male to be the one to "make the move" in most cases.
The problem with the attitude of many "nice guys" is that they think they're owed something by simply being nice, and I guess it's rather self-evident to women they're trying to "pull" and such. The best thing you can do is be comortable with yourself and try and work down this complex that women are just after ****ers all the time.
I know this worked for me - I really made a conscious effort to just disconnect my bad experiences with women (i.e. being passed over for someone I saw as entirely inferior, as condescending as that sounds), and it pays off. I've certainly done well for myself in the last year, and I guess it just manifests itself really. A positive attitude within is going to be displayed to everyone else
Hope that wasn't too long/pretentious. Cheers guys. I know where you're coming from, but I guess I'm something of a "nice guy convert" (whilst not becoming a douchebag), so I feel that I should speak on this matter as someone of a little experience.
To speak generally, I guess women probably want a nice guy who has a bit of a risky, cheeky edge to him to the point where it generates easy, spontaneous amusement. If a couple were simply posturing for each other and doing everything the other wants without any gentle teasing, things would just be incredibly boring I imagine.
I can speak from some experience, I guess. When I was young and naive several years ago, I attempted the whole "be nice as pie" thing - it doesn't work. It makes you look fawn-like and I guess, rather desperate. Go out there with a good opinion of yourself (although not to the point where it's flagrant egotism), and don't comprimise yourself to coincide with a woman - they'll probably respect you more if you have a dissenting opinion and are passionate enough to espouse it without fear of reprisals
(to put it bluntly, I argued the merits of Batman vs Spider-Man with a girl recently and didn't leave her room until the next morning, *ahem* )I am one to defend the concept of the "Friend Zone", and it is true that women can be utterly feckless a lot of the time, but then unfortunately, the societal onus is still on the male to be the one to "make the move" in most cases.
The problem with the attitude of many "nice guys" is that they think they're owed something by simply being nice, and I guess it's rather self-evident to women they're trying to "pull" and such. The best thing you can do is be comortable with yourself and try and work down this complex that women are just after ****ers all the time.
I know this worked for me - I really made a conscious effort to just disconnect my bad experiences with women (i.e. being passed over for someone I saw as entirely inferior, as condescending as that sounds), and it pays off. I've certainly done well for myself in the last year, and I guess it just manifests itself really. A positive attitude within is going to be displayed to everyone else
Hope that wasn't too long/pretentious. Cheers guys. I know where you're coming from, but I guess I'm something of a "nice guy convert" (whilst not becoming a douchebag), so I feel that I should speak on this matter as someone of a little experience.
I suddenly had deja vous.
You've posted that before.
Swayum
What a large population of women want is a guy they can "fix" - a guy with problems (e.g. a crap personality) because they think that deep down there's something good which they want to help release. And by doing this, they feel very good about themselves. They can't see anything to "fix" in nice guys, which is why they go for guys that are horrible, and then slowly, after lots of failed relationships, realise how stupid their idea is and eventually settle down with someone "nice". I think it relates to their whole maternal thing and taking caring of children.
Warning
Warning
Spoiler
Hmm I probably disagree
I think the last thing I want is to change someone or become attracted to someone who needs 'help'.I prefer nice people (guys lol) for long-term but for short-term I can see the appeal of a badboi
EDIT: Hehe I just saw your spoiler too - sorry
Nice guys finish last.
Good guys finish first.
Good guys finish first.
Anonymous
Geez, I can't believe it! I thought it was a stupid saying and that by being nice I would find someone, but nice guys actually do finish last. What is up with that? Should I start being horrible to girls? I am so confused.
I don't finish last
my girlfriend and i couldn't be happier
and I'm a really nice guy
and I even met her on TSR
so....chin up!
Women like nice guys, but being nice needs to be part of a whole package not jsut that you're nice all the time. I think its mainly about confidence and the way you talk to people. If you treat them as a friend thats what you'll become.
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