Got into a University out of town, my mother keeps telling me its a mistake

Watch
Dralexus
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#1
Hi guys,

I am a BTEC student who got D*D*D* and got a place confirmed at the University of Nottingham which is out of London, where I live. My second option was Brunel, which my mother tells me I should've gone to in order to avoid spending the extra living costs.

She keeps beating be down how selfish I am and that never think about the family. She wants to pay for all my expenses and blames me that she needs to work more or get another job. Doesn't allow me to get a student loan either.

I really don't know how to deal with the situation, I can't even get happy for getting into the University which I think is the best possible scenario with my circumstances. Please give me some advice on how to deal with the situation. Am I wrong here?
0
reply
ReadingMum
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 months ago
#2
Student finance is there so that your mother doesn't have to get another job/work more. What is the reasoning behind not applying for the loan - and is that fees and maintenance or just maintenance?
2
reply
Dralexus
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#3
(Original post by ReadingMum)
Student finance is there so that your mother doesn't have to get another job/work more. What is the reasoning behind not applying for the loan - and is that fees and maintenance or just maintenance?
I've already taken the tuition fee loan after convincing my mother back in May that we can always cancel/stop it and pay in cash. Even if I mention the maintenance loan she goes nuts and calls me an idiot for wanting to take on more loans. While also having a go on me for doubling her costs from around 30 to 60k. She has the money for the whole first and second year, just is waiting to see how her business is going to run.
0
reply
bubblecat
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 months ago
#4
student finance loans are there for you to utilise and it would be silly not to take both the tuition loan and the maintenance loan. also, nottingham is more affordable to live in than london so that doesnt even make sense. go where you want to to and take the loans.
0
reply
ajj2000
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 months ago
#5
Does your mother understand student loans or is there a religious aspect?
0
reply
Dralexus
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#6
(Original post by ajj2000)
Does your mother understand student loans or is there a religious aspect?
We are atheists, so no. In terms of the loans, my mother strongly believes that loans are something bad and should only be taken for a house eg mortgage. As a result, she doesn't even think about the rates, conditions or how they work either.
0
reply
ajj2000
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#7
Report 4 months ago
#7
(Original post by Dralexus)
We are atheists, so no. In terms of the loans, my mother strongly believes that loans are something bad and should only be taken for a house eg mortgage. As a result, she doesn't even think about the rates, conditions or how they work either.
Ok - I'm generally with you mother when it comes to debt. I think it might be best to point her to resources such as Martin Lewis's discussions of student loans to see whether that helps.
0
reply
ReadingMum
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#8
Report 4 months ago
#8
I would echo that thought - if you think of it as a graduate tax, that many will never repay and that does not impact you ability to get other credit such as mortgages in the future (beyond the simple affordability calculations) then maybe that will help.
0
reply
Oracle17
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#9
Report 4 months ago
#9
(Original post by Dralexus)
We are atheists, so no. In terms of the loans, my mother strongly believes that loans are something bad and should only be taken for a house eg mortgage. As a result, she doesn't even think about the rates, conditions or how they work either.
Even so, student loans are really different to normal bank loans etc.

You won't pay back the student loan, unless once you graduate and hit a certain salary.
And plus I believe after 25-30 years, if you haven't paid it off, the loan would be gone and no payback.
0
reply
Robin Hill
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#10
Report 4 months ago
#10
(Original post by Dralexus)
Hi guys,

I am a BTEC student who got D*D*D* and got a place confirmed at the University of Nottingham which is out of London, where I live. My second option was Brunel, which my mother tells me I should've gone to in order to avoid spending the extra living costs.

She keeps beating be down how selfish I am and that never think about the family. She wants to pay for all my expenses and blames me that she needs to work more or get another job. Doesn't allow me to get a student loan either.
Overbearing mother. Cut the apron strings before you fall even further behind with your self-development (the fact you think you are not 'allowed' to take a student loan out because your mother said so suggests a degree of immaturity that is unusual for someone of your age). Move to Nottingham and finance the move yourself with a student loan. Ask your mum to put the money aside and give it to you for a housing deposit instead, if she is willing. If she does, great, if she doesn't great, even more real world experience for you. The alternative is to stay under her influence, which I can see is tempting when there is a financial benefit but I can't see how this will be good for you. Apologies if any of this comes across as offensive, that isn't my intention.
0
reply
Krystal1000
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#11
Report 4 months ago
#11
(Original post by Dralexus)
Hi guys,

I am a BTEC student who got D*D*D* and got a place confirmed at the University of Nottingham which is out of London, where I live. My second option was Brunel, which my mother tells me I should've gone to in order to avoid spending the extra living costs.

She keeps beating be down how selfish I am and that never think about the family. She wants to pay for all my expenses and blames me that she needs to work more or get another job. Doesn't allow me to get a student loan either.

I really don't know how to deal with the situation, I can't even get happy for getting into the University which I think is the best possible scenario with my circumstances. Please give me some advice on how to deal with the situation. Am I wrong here?
You’re not in the wrong. Theres nothing wrong with getting a student loan. It’s not like a normal bank loan where interest increases dramatically. If you’re earning less than 25k, you won’t pay back anything and if you’re earning more than the amount you’re paying back will not be as noticeable as you think. Honestly, you’re older now and it should be your decision. Maybe your mother doesn’t understand the concept of student finance which you could explain.

Either way, choose what uni you believe is best for you and do what’s best for you. It’s your future.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you experienced financial difficulties as a student due to Covid-19?

Yes, I have really struggled financially (53)
17.85%
I have experienced some financial difficulties (83)
27.95%
I haven't experienced any financial difficulties and things have stayed the same (112)
37.71%
I have had better financial opportunities as a result of the pandemic (39)
13.13%
I've had another experience (let us know in the thread!) (10)
3.37%

Watched Threads

View All