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    okay, I'm sure this is me just fretting for the sake of doing so, but

    I've applied to study politics at

    Glasgow
    Edinburgh
    Sussex
    Leeds
    Stathclyde
    Stirling

    with my first choice as glasgow originally. My boyfriend studies and lives there and I was keen to be as close to him as possible.

    however, recently I've been less interested in studying in scotland and have actually been interested in sussex. It's a lot closer to home (just over an hour) and the course looks equally as interesting.

    I'm also regretting my back up choices (Stathclyde and Stirling) because I have no desire to go to either of them, they were particularly rushed decisions.

    I've mentioned this in passing to my boyfriend who has said if I go to university anywhere but glasgow it will basically be the end of us. I feel really torn. I've decided that I'll have one last look at all the universities and then decide, but if I do end up choosing sussex, how on earth do I go about explaining that to my boyfriend?

    argh.
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    (Original post by marychrist)



    I've mentioned this in passing to my boyfriend who has said if I go to university anywhere but glasgow it will basically be the end of us.

    (
    What a mature individual. So he's gone to a uni several hours from where you live and he wants you to move up to be with him. He isn't bothered about the course you want to do, whether you'd be happy, whether you even want to be in Scotland.

    This is your life, how many times are you going to go to uni? Just how selfish is your boyfriend? Just how many times has he said "if you loved me you would .........." OK I'm on a downer with men expecting women to dance around them, my friends daughter is regularly beaten up by her boyfriend (daughter's not friend's) and all she can say is "but I love him".

    If you were not going out with your boyfriend where would you want to go to uni?
    If you asked him to give up on Glasgow and transfer to a uni near you would he?
    If he said "jump in the fire or it's over" would you?


    I know it's easy for a complete stranger to say, 'go to sussex', I'm not emotionally involved and you are. If you really want to be with him why not take a year out, move to Glasgow for a year and work for a year. After that go to uni where you want. If he's in his final year then he won't have much time to see you and then he can move to be near you if he wants.

    One final thin to think about. If you go to uni in Glasgow he is going to finish uni at least a year before you (asuming your courses are the same legnth) and is he intending to stay in Glasgow or is he going to get a job elsewhere and leave you there on your own.

    OK a final, final thing - you may split up anyway, in which case you will be stuck in a city hundreds of miles away from your family, just how miserable would you be?

    A man who loves you will want you to go to the uni that is best for you, not convenient for him - tell him that.

    btw good luck.
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    I agree with the above post, however Academically the best uni from your list is Edinburgh (sorry if i have made ur decision even harder )
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    Tell him to piss off.

    Your future and happiness is more important than him, unless it was a serious relationship. He seems like a ******** from what you've said anyway.
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    (Original post by Lord Huntroyde)
    Tell him to piss off.

    Your future and happiness is more important than him, unless it was a serious relationship. He seems like a ******** from what you've said anyway.
    I agree 100%.
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    I moved more than 5 hours away from my boyfriend, because it was the course i really wanted to do and i thought i'd be happier in Southampton. He's planning to move down here next year because he wants to be with me (he's not at uni) but if he didn't want to move down here, that would be fine with me. If we're meant to be together then it will be. And the same goes for him. If he really cares about you, emotional blackmail is not the way to go.
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    we've been in a long distance relationship for a year. He's always lived in glasgow, I've always lived in the south east of England, we had always intended that I go up to scotland for university et cetera.

    I'm aware edinburgh is probably the most academically respected university out of my 6 choices, but that has never really been a concern- if I wanted to go to the best university for politics I would have applied to somewhere like LSE. my choices have been made on where I would be happiest living / studying, what I think of the course, and so on.

    I spoke to my boyfriend about this last night and he continued with the whole " if you go to university anywhere but glasgow it will be the end of us", and threw in some extra pieces of blackmail to boot. I appreciate his concern- our relationship is serious, it's not a casual thing at all and this will be a really tough decision to make. at the moment I'm leaning towards sussex but he sees that as rejection, and me choosing between him and my family.

    my boyfriend lives at home with his parents and doesn't enjoy university, never has. he's in his second year adn for the entire time that I've been with him he's expressed a desire to quit after third year with no intention of sticking around for honours. of course, since I've mentioned going elsewhere for university it's been very " I'll be at glasgow for another two years yet and you'll only be able to see me 4 times a year at most and I'll be angry and bitter with you forever". I am seriously considering edinburgh, but he doesn't like that choice as I'll be a £7 train journey / 45 minutes away from him.

    sashh,
    If you were not going out with your boyfriend where would you want to go to uni?: sussex, glasgow, edinburgh or leeds. I've wanted to go to glasgow since I was about 14 / 15, originally to study english.
    If you asked him to give up on Glasgow and transfer to a uni near you would he?: I asked him yesterday, he said " I can't transfer now, my course is *different* I'd need to start first year all over again ".

    I've spoken to my parents about everything and they've advised me to go to the open days for successful applicants and then make my final decision. they've urged me to forget about my boyfriend's wishes while making this choice, because if I end up going to glasgow when I don't really want to be there, I'll be ridiculously unhappy..

    thank you everyone though.
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    I would do what your parents have advised.
    Go to all the department open days you are invited to, look around the university and area. Ask about your course, forget about your boyfriend.
    If there is anywhere that you don't feel ok in, or it just doesn't seem right then put that uni aside. When you have seen them all, pick out the best two or three.

    Your boyfriend is being somewhat immature, if you have lived apart for a year already then you have proved that you can make the relationship work. University can lead you into a career for life and give you so many important contacts. It is essential you go to somewhere you feel the best in. A relationship, while also important, won't really be able to support you financially as much as a career will.
    In a relationship you do have to make comprimises but there is a line at which they stop and you put yourself first. Your choice of Uni is a long way past that line.
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    he keeps complaining that I won't be able to juggle university work / a job / seeing him, and reckons we won't be able to talk as much and it will consequently result in a break down of our relationship.
 
 
 
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