got mocked and laughed by a girl for trying to approach her

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shazi53
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
When i was 17, i tried to approach a girl when she was with her friend. I got nervous and she laughed in my face. i then tried to avoid her (i was in college at the time). Every time i saw her she was with her friends and she always used to point at me. Thats what i was afraid of. That she will tell everyone about me. I usually ignored her because i didnt knew what to do. She kept mocking me where ever i went. i remember one day she laughed and told her group of friends about me. I was by myself i had to pretend i was on my phone. It was very embarassing this happend 6 years ago but i keep thinking about it. It gets me very angry. I wished i could go back and do something. I want to get revenge but i know i will never find her. I wish i punched her or something (never punched someone before in my life). I sometimes get nightmares of this situation. How do i forget this embarassing moment
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Anonymous #1
#2
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#2
Hey,

Please try and refrain from thinking about the past since it’s rather pointless, a waste of time and anxiety inducing. You can’t do anything about it but try and forget it and to forget anything, you have to quickly snap out it, remember it was in the past, you were 17, young and careless who had no serious worries. You have to know that whatever happens to you isn’t a big deal, don’t overthinking anything to the point where it starts getting to you And revenge is childish and pointless.

Getting rejected is not embarrassing you see. It happens to the best of us and neither is getting laughed on. That just shows how mature and insensitive she was. I promise you it’s not as bad as you make it sound in your head. Laugh it off and shift your focus else where x.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#3
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#3
The next time that you approach a woman to talk to them to get to know them and their initial reaction is to laugh in your face treat this as a good reaction.

It's a good reaction because it's what's known in the Gaming community as a **** test.

These tests are good. Because all you have to do is pass them. Which is easy enough with the right attitude and a little bit of knowledge.

There a few ways you could pass the particular **** test of being laughed at as you introduce yourself:

1 Ignore their laughter and carry on as if they are not laughing at you.
2 Treat it as something really good. EG by saying "You're feisty. I like that in a woman." And then turn to the person she was with and say something like "Is she always this feisty?"

What you do not do is to turn and walk away with your tail between your legs.
And you do no not argue with her about it.
And you should avoid starting to have to justify yourself.

The frame that you're taking is that you are a really cool guy, that just wants to get to know them better with a view to evaluating if they would make a good enough girlfriend for you. And therefore there is nothing that they can so or do that will upset you or phase you.

If she were to continue laughing at you, or if she were to start acting like a very rude person to you, you could, for example shift onto discussing something like "One of the things that I find about the students at this college is that they tend to be really cliquey. Do you agree with that or do you think it's bull****?"

There's nothing you should do at this stage about the immature behaviour of this girl pointing at you. Apart from maybe saying to her, in front of her friends next time she does it "That's fine. I get it. You're making fun of me because I walked up to you once to introduce myself to you and you laughed and I walked away embarassed and ever since then you've been taking the piss out of me." And then shrugging your shoulders, and walking away in Yeah whatever kind of way.
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Oxford Mum
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#4
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#4
At 17 girls can be very immature. Would you really want to be with a rude woman like her? Imagine being put down every day in public by her, if you had successfully chatted her up?

Not every woman is like that. Most are respectful, decent and kind. You just picked on the wrong person.

Talking about vengeance, after 6 years, and punching her, however, is very unsettling indeed for me to hear.

It's her choice whether to be interested in you or not.

You need to learn to deal with rejection, as it happens to all of us. It's just part of life.

,
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shazi53
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#5
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#5
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The next time that you approach a woman to talk to them to get to know them and their initial reaction is to laugh in your face treat this as a good reaction.

It's a good reaction because it's what's known in the Gaming community as a **** test.

These tests are good. Because all you have to do is pass them. Which is easy enough with the right attitude and a little bit of knowledge.

There a few ways you could pass the particular **** test of being laughed at as you introduce yourself:

1 Ignore their laughter and carry on as if they are not laughing at you.
2 Treat it as something really good. EG by saying "You're feisty. I like that in a woman." And then turn to the person she was with and say something like "Is she always this feisty?"

What you do not do is to turn and walk away with your tail between your legs.
And you do no not argue with her about it.
And you should avoid starting to have to justify yourself.

The frame that you're taking is that you are a really cool guy, that just wants to get to know them better with a view to evaluating if they would make a good enough girlfriend for you. And therefore there is nothing that they can so or do that will upset you or phase you.

If she were to continue laughing at you, or if she were to start acting like a very rude person to you, you could, for example shift onto discussing something like "One of the things that I find about the students at this college is that they tend to be really cliquey. Do you agree with that or do you think it's bull****?"

There's nothing you should do at this stage about the immature behaviour of this girl pointing at you. Apart from maybe saying to her, in front of her friends next time she does it "That's fine. I get it. You're making fun of me because I walked up to you once to introduce myself to you and you laughed and I walked away embarassed and ever since then you've been taking the piss out of me." And then shrugging your shoulders, and walking away in Yeah whatever kind of way.
tbh, i dont want to pass anyones test. Who is someone to try test me.
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Surnia
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
There's nothing you should do at this stage about the immature behaviour of this girl pointing at you. Apart from maybe saying to her, in front of her friends next time she does it "That's fine. I get it. You're making fun of me because I walked up to you once to introduce myself to you and you laughed and I walked away embarassed and ever since then you've been taking the piss out of me." And then shrugging your shoulders, and walking away in Yeah whatever kind of way.
Except that this happened 6 years ago, so i doubt the OP is going to see this girl and her friends again to be able to do this....
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ageshallnot
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#7
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#7
(Original post by shazi53)
tbh, i dont want to pass anyones test. Who is someone to try test me.
You approached her, not the other way round. By doing so, you tested her response.
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Strange5050
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#8
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#8
Should of approached her when she was alone. Approaching anyone when they’re with others is likely to turn awkward quickly.
Last edited by Strange5050; 1 year ago
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Oxford Mum
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#9
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#9
It’s just a minor incident that happened six years ago. In your place I would have forgotten about it
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Dunnig Kruger
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#10
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#10
(Original post by shazi53)
tbh, i dont want to pass anyones test. Who is someone to try test me.
It's the "technical term" for what the girl was doing for you amongst people that take an effort to understand and get good at man to woman social skills.

These sorts of tests happen all the time when you meet a woman and start talking with her with a view to getting to know her better.
Sometimes the tests are deliberate on their part, sometimes the tests are unintentional, with them giving you a **** test without realising it.

It is in your interests to get good at recognising and passing these tests as this will massively increase your chances of successful social interactions with women.

For the particular scenario you gave, if you'd been aware that she was just giving you a **** test and if you'd used one of a few different responses you could have used to pass the test, she would have interacted with you in more positive way and you would have had much more positive memories of her and of the time you walked up to her and spoke with her.

If a woman were to walk up to you and start talking to you, there's a very high chance that you would give her some kind of **** test. So in answer to your question about who is someone to try to test you: they are just another human being.
(Original post by Surnia)
Except that this happened 6 years ago, so i doubt the OP is going to see this girl and her friends again to be able to do this....
Yes, of course there's a small chance of them meeting again, but you never know - what with them coming from the same home town.

If they ever do meet again and she resumes her old immature behaviour, shazi53 will be fully prepared in how to respond to it.

He should also be well prepared for similar situations happening in the future with other people.

All of which should help him to be more at ease with the prospect of him walking up to and talking to women in the future.

The right skills and attitude will take you far when it comes to social interactions with the other sex.
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shazi53
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's the "technical term" for what the girl was doing for you amongst people that take an effort to understand and get good at man to woman social skills.

These sorts of tests happen all the time when you meet a woman and start talking with her with a view to getting to know her better.
Sometimes the tests are deliberate on their part, sometimes the tests are unintentional, with them giving you a **** test without realising it.

It is in your interests to get good at recognising and passing these tests as this will massively increase your chances of successful social interactions with women.

For the particular scenario you gave, if you'd been aware that she was just giving you a **** test and if you'd used one of a few different responses you could have used to pass the test, she would have interacted with you in more positive way and you would have had much more positive memories of her and of the time you walked up to her and spoke with her.

If a woman were to walk up to you and start talking to you, there's a very high chance that you would give her some kind of **** test. So in answer to your question about who is someone to try to test you: they are just another human being.

Yes, of course there's a small chance of them meeting again, but you never know - what with them coming from the same home town.

If they ever do meet again and she resumes her old immature behaviour, shazi53 will be fully prepared in how to respond to it.

He should also be well prepared for similar situations happening in the future with other people.

All of which should help him to be more at ease with the prospect of him walking up to and talking to women in the future.

The right skills and attitude will take you far when it comes to social interactions with the other sex.
tbh im a dumb guy and have made the same mistake and prolly will. I wont learn. Im just traumatised thats all. **** tests are not supposed to be that humiliating and friendly. Well tbh that was me being bullied
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shazi53
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#12
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#12
(Original post by shazi53)
tbh im a dumb guy and have made the same mistake and prolly will. I wont learn. Im just traumatised thats all. **** tests are not supposed to be that humiliating and friendly. Well tbh that was me being bullied
I just dont understand why someone will be rude for trying to approach them then humiluate them
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mmm. donuts.
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#13
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#13
(Original post by shazi53)
When i was 17, i tried to approach a girl when she was with her friend. I got nervous and she laughed in my face. i then tried to avoid her (i was in college at the time). Every time i saw her she was with her friends and she always used to point at me. Thats what i was afraid of. That she will tell everyone about me. I usually ignored her because i didnt knew what to do. She kept mocking me where ever i went. i remember one day she laughed and told her group of friends about me. I was by myself i had to pretend i was on my phone. It was very embarassing this happend 6 years ago but i keep thinking about it. It gets me very angry. I wished i could go back and do something. I want to get revenge but i know i will never find her. I wish i punched her or something (never punched someone before in my life). I sometimes get nightmares of this situation. How do i forget this embarassing moment
Are you good looking and popular? Because if your not then maybe she didn't want to go out with an ugly loner who doesn't match her status. She sounds popular.
Now you'll definitely think twice before you approach someone lol.
You have to check if you and her are similar in anyway. Among those things you have to compare appearance intelligence and behaviour.
If you're both polar opposites then you both will not suit each other.
Your very brave though.
XD
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