Why do I feel as if girls hate me?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#1
I'm a 19 year old male, I have social anxiety and I feel as if girls hate me. Due to my social anxiety which is basically very very extreme shyness I am too scared to talk to girls in person. I get lots of matches on tinder which means girls do find me attractive yet nobody replies which further damages my already low confidence. I see hundreds and hundreds of couples my age out in public and it hurts me so much. My anxiety makes me think these girls would much rather be with their boyfriends than me, but part of me knows that the reason I am not with these girls is because I have never once in my life approached a girl in person, these guys have. Despite this part of me still thinks girls hate me and a big reason is when I get anxious or depressed girls just look uncomfortable and don't show any real sympathy. It hurts me a lot when girls ignore me on tinder when I know these same girls definitely would be happy if I talked to them in person but I struggle to do that with my social anxiety and it hurts me a lot. I just really want a girlfriend and have done for so long but my extreme shyness prevents me from doing that.
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_.georgie.leigh
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Report 9 months ago
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hello i had this problem with anxiety but one day i pushed the boat out and thought to myself if it goes badly so what it wont matter in a few months/years and if it goes well thats great too its all about building experience and if you meet the right girl she will understand... maybe lay off tinder and go for girls you meet in real life so you can gauge what kind of person they are and if they would understand?
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NonIndigenous
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Well, during times like that I've found that what helps is realising you're not the only person with issues.

Surprising large % of other people also have issues. If they rudely backhand you for making an relatively ordinary approach (even if it is lacking in confidence), it's probably because they have something wrong with them too and like taking it out on others when they think they can get away with it. And frankly, why would I be remotely interested in those types? Why would you be, either?

I often pass judgements on people, not even based of how they behave towards me, but how I see them behave towards other people. If someone is by default a b!tch on an ar.sehole, and for example enjoys laughing at others' expense, and yet they wear a different face around me... I trust them even less. People often don't realise how observant I am, but it comes with practice and I've taught myself to pay attention to these types of things over quite a few years now, and have an extremely hard memory for certain behaviors in other people.

If you deliberately say something creepy and stupid though as a pick-up line, then expect rude responses. Obviously.
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