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Am I Jealous of My Boyfriend’s friendship?

Hi - I’m 20 years old and I’m struggling to work out if I’m the issue here.
Basically, my boyfriend (of 2 years) has a best friend (who is a lesbian), and they are REALLY close.they are so close that sometimes I feel he thinks more of her than he does of me. Sometimes I feels they are the ones in a relationship.
For example; my boyfriend tells her he loves her , sends her love hearts and tells her that he is only truly happy in her company. I have been open with him about how inadequate this makes me feel, as I feel it’s a little inappropriate. All he says is that he means it in a ‘friendly’ manner and calls me jealous.
Is he right? Am I jealous? Or should I be right to feel uncomfortable and inadequate by this code bond going on?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi - I’m 20 years old and I’m struggling to work out if I’m the issue here.
Basically, my boyfriend (of 2 years) has a best friend (who is a lesbian), and they are REALLY close.they are so close that sometimes I feel he thinks more of her than he does of me. Sometimes I feels they are the ones in a relationship.
For example; my boyfriend tells her he loves her , sends her love hearts and tells her that he is only truly happy in her company. I have been open with him about how inadequate this makes me feel, as I feel it’s a little inappropriate. All he says is that he means it in a ‘friendly’ manner and calls me jealous.
Is he right? Am I jealous? Or should I be right to feel uncomfortable and inadequate by this code bond going on?

its not uncommon for bestfriends to tell each other they love one another and send heart emoji's. but it does sound odd that your boyfriend would say he is only truly happy in her company. that doesnt sound right to me. may i ask how close are they and how long have they known each other? but also you said that the women is a lesbian which if thats true and she has no attraction towards guys, that shouldnt be triggering. and even if your boyfriend wants something more from the friend, she is a lesbian so that wouldnt happen. either way you have talked to him. im not really sure how to help you...? :K: if it gets to the point where you think something else IS going on i'd give him a ultimatum, you or her. i know that sounds bad, but it might be the only thing to help. i hope it gets better love, xx.
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Avatar for Foxehh
Foxehh
21
Most people tell their best friends they love them, teenagers especially. Theres not so much a problem with that but I could understand the jealousy? The 'only happy in your company' part is a bit of a red flag. So is calling you jealous when you voice your concerns.

You need to sit down and have a proper talk with him about it and how it makes you feel. Be calm and not accusatory, make sure he doesnt feel attacked. Acknowledge that you understand their friendship and are happy with how close they are but that you feel upset when he says things like 'Im only happy with you'.
Original post by LovelyMrFox
Most people tell their best friends they love them, teenagers especially. Theres not so much a problem with that but I could understand the jealousy? The 'only happy in your company' part is a bit of a red flag. So is calling you jealous when you voice your concerns.

You need to sit down and have a proper talk with him about it and how it makes you feel. Be calm and not accusatory, make sure he doesnt feel attacked. Acknowledge that you understand their friendship and are happy with how close they are but that you feel upset when he says things like 'Im only happy with you'.

:yep:

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