Update: The Blog is back! a longgggggggg post:
Hey guys! I never ever thought I would make this post...Ever. I managed to get all my assignments in, which I can not explain to you how much is a miracle.
To give you context of how bad my situation was, it was the whole reason why I created the past blog. I was suffering from crippling anxiety (specifically with academics) for the past two years and it worsened till I reached the stage where I could not even write a sentence without experiencing panic attack symptoms. I failed all of my first year because I did not give in any single assignment or exam and have been labelled as a disabled student.
The reason why I deleted my account was that at the beginning of this month I was doing my deferred assessments and resits. I was granted 12 days to finish 6 assignments, but I was so scared of going through the anxiety that I started to procrastinate to a crazy amount, and at some point, there were only 2 days left for my assignments and I did not start. You can imagine how disappointed and depressed I felt at that point, and it was that level of self-sabotage and pain that made me want to corner myself and get rid of anything and everything that could hinder me, which made me delete my account.
(and my beautiful 9 gems *sniffs*)So, I asked for an extension to try again. I was granted way more limited days (which makes sense as it as an extension, not the full-time limit) and the university started threatening to ask me to leave (on a Skype call too lmfao). So, at first, the anxiety reminded and was quite unbearable. I could not write without feeling like I was literally choking (Globus Hystericus, I think) and could not breathe. But, Josh gave me the brilliant idea of welcoming my pain and seeing it as a good thing: a way to stay mindful. It was absolute hell the first few days, but, the more I faced my fear and persevered through the physical pain, the less my anxiety symptoms were prevalent. Before you know it, I completely got over it through constant exposure and mindfulness and started writing the way I used to 2 years ago and enjoyed it and fell in love with law again. The best part though was that my professor told me there is no way I could realistically give in all my assignments in and he started planning with me alternatives to completing uni or to just finish half of my assignments. It felt incredible to tell him I finished all of them lmaooo.
TLDR; I made it mum :""""""""") Got over my weird-ass essay writing phobia
Anyway, please update me on what I have missed, I missed you guys. <2 Thank you so so much for the support on my blog, it really means the world to me. Though I was amused to find that it has been closed, was going to make that post there
And I was so sad to find out that YaliaV deleted herself
Astayuno too leaving broke my heart </2 he was one of my faves, I hope he comes back :/
Tag list from the previous blog: