I was debating if I should post this, but I realised that this gyg is following my journey over the year, so I guess I should include the lows as well as the highs. I am not going to tag anyone as it hasn't been long since my last update, but this is kind of a mini update.
Update #4a: A mini breakdown
So, I am struggling, badly. I just don't know what to do or where to begin. Watching everyone else going back to school full time is hard enough, but having to self-teach yourself Y13 alevel content is super hard. I am struggling to get motivated to do the bare minimum amount of work, never mind the fact I am supposed to be revising for my mocks which are in less than 2 weeks time.
I miss my friends, yes, I have seen a few of them outside of college every now and again, but I miss spending everyday of college with them. Zoom calls just don't have the same effect. I am even starting to miss my classmates, you know those people who you aren't really friends with, but you see them everyday in lessons and you get along with them, I am starting to miss people I barely even knew.
All this is making me question if university is right for me - if I am struggling to read powerpoints and copy down notes, and struggle to get myself to revise. How on earth am I going to motivate myself to do extra reading outside of lectures? I am also questioning if civil engineering is the right degree for me, I have been set on it for so long, but I am questioning why. I have a good idea of what I want to do as a career, I just don't know which path I should take to get there.
There is a couple of other things that have happened over the past few days, that I will mention in my weekly update. But this is just to let you all know how I am feeling and for me to look back on when this year is all over.