I think my evangelical parents unwittingly made me gay (warning:seriously messed up)

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Anonymous #1
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When I was a child I had sexual feelings toward women like most boys. But I was constantly made to feel ashamed of it . I would become anxious and guilty whenever I had fleeting sexual thoughts toward women. Then I started to dislike girls on an emotional level (kind of harassed by many sassy teen girls).
Then I started being obsessed with cute boys. At first I wanted to become like them, then the sexual attraction started appearing. Out of curiosity I looked at twinks on the internet and I believe that reinforced the attraction. Just yesterday I was getting off to the thought of being with an 18yo guy in my course I have a serious crush on (I’m 20) . Then I immediately felt disgusted and ashamed. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to accept I like men, part of me thinks this is a psychosexual disorder and that maybe a psychologist could help me go back to being straight, if only conversion therapy wasn’t banned. Whenever I try to feel attracted to women I feel disgusted, as if I’m doing something immorally wrong and that I’m ‘disrespecting’ them.
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remussjhj01
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You can't be 'made' gay. You either are or you aren't.
You are clearly attracted to men and that can't be changed; conversion therapy doesn't work, and a psychologist couldn't 'change you back'. It's hard to say whether you feel genuine attraction to women. Many gay people initially think they're straight, and some claim they used to feel genuine sexual attraction towards the opposite gender. This could have been what happened for you, but it could also be that you're bisexual-only you can say for sure. However, being attracted to women is not disrespectful in itself.
I would like to say though that, whatever label you end up feeling comfortable with, there is nothing wrong with it. Being gay is okay and good, so is being bi or pan.
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nathan1403
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Being attracted to men is not a psychosexual disorder and I don't think the way your parents raised you has affected your sexuality at all. You could be gay or bi, but that's up to you to figure out over time, don't put too much pressure on yourself to find a label that suits you. Instead, why not try going on a date with a guy and see how that makes you feel?
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H3ARTBROK3N
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I don't think anybody made you gay. You can't really choose to be gay or you can't turn gay. That's just not how it goes.
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PeachyMilk
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Im pretty sure you can't be made gay, but whatever happens just no there is nothing wrong with you- don't feel ashamed.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
When I was a child I had sexual feelings toward women like most boys. But I was constantly made to feel ashamed of it . I would become anxious and guilty whenever I had fleeting sexual thoughts toward women. Then I started to dislike girls on an emotional level (kind of harassed by many sassy teen girls).
Then I started being obsessed with cute boys. At first I wanted to become like them, then the sexual attraction started appearing. Out of curiosity I looked at twinks on the internet and I believe that reinforced the attraction. Just yesterday I was getting off to the thought of being with an 18yo guy in my course I have a serious crush on (I’m 20) . Then I immediately felt disgusted and ashamed. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to accept I like men, part of me thinks this is a psychosexual disorder and that maybe a psychologist could help me go back to being straight, if only conversion therapy wasn’t banned. Whenever I try to feel attracted to women I feel disgusted, as if I’m doing something immorally wrong and that I’m ‘disrespecting’ them.
lol, conversion therapy doesn't work in any event. and it's impossible to make someone gay.
are you from a religious background? or like a really strict family?
just hookup with a guy from grindr for fun. for one night. and see for yourself. if you're gay, it won't feel wrong. it will feel right.
Last edited by Ciel.; 1 month ago
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josie71202
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sexuality is fluid and it's totally ok to change your identity over your life - I'm 17 and I've changed my identity 3 times it's ok to change how you feel - it's highly unlikely your parents made you gay
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Lilymae69
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(Original post by josie71202)
sexuality is fluid and it's totally ok to change your identity over your life - I'm 17 and I've changed my identity 3 times it's ok to change how you feel - it's highly unlikely your parents made you gay
what does sexuality is fluid mean
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Ramipril
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(Original post by Lilymae69)
what does sexuality is fluid mean
It means that some people are completely straight, others are completely gay, then you have the people in between right across the spectrum and those for whom it does change.
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josie71202
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(Original post by Lilymae69)
what does sexuality is fluid mean
it means your attractions can change over time
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ROTL94
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I don't think homosexuals can be made, they are born like that.
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chopingirl
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I'm sure there must be a psychotherapist out there who can help you with the feelings of disgust towards women. It wouldn't be gay conversion just dealing with that issue you have with women to make it a positive feeling again. It's ok to be attracted to both women and men.
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