Most of my friends take a long time to reply. So are they just not my friends?

Yes people can be busy but we are students and at times it takes them 10-15hours to open my message.

I feel like if someone actually cares then they can easily make time

Reply 1

StriderHort

Wishful thinking and nothing more, people have their own lives and priorities. I doubt someone with any real degree of life experience would say anyone can 'easily' make time.

see also "Whats for you won't pass you by' & 'If you love something set it free'

Reply 2

Bio 7

Original post by StriderHort

"What if I loved a black mamba, should I set that free?"

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by StriderHort

Embarassing question but how do I know if I have friends? No one ever really checks up on me or says hello unless I walk by them

Try an ice breaker.

Original post by Anonymous

Embarassing question but how do I know if I have friends? No one ever really checks up on me or says hello unless I walk by them

My counter question would be how much effort are you making? Sitting in silence trying to wait it out till someone checks on you is just another way of sulking tbh, you just keep doing it till you convince yourself everyone is a ***t

Are the messages you send people engaging? are they something people would want to reply to? relevant? timely?

Personally when i'm deep in work/revision i have no time for "alright, how's things?/what you up to?' messages, my brain just shoves them to the side because generally it means the other person is just bored, and them being bored isn't a good enough reason to distract me. As a result it can be days before i get back to them, if their message had been more engaging in the first place i might have made time quicker

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by StriderHort

Of course I do put in the effort with my messages haha. I do think it should be a effort on both sides yet.

And yes I understand I that people are busy, I can be the same during exam season and when I was at work my phone would be off all 6 hours. But we’re students out of term time during a pandemic, and people always have their phones on them 🤷🏾*♂️.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

People are not always busy with studying, they could be busy with some commitments or by spending time with family.
If you are disturbed by this, you could ask them about it :dontknow:

Reply 8

Callicious

Sometimes people may just not feel like replying or not be in the mood for a conversation/etc.

If I get a PM from someone and I know that they might push a conversation from it or might want a more "complex" reply so to speak, but I'm just not in the mood or don't feel like it, then I'll just hold off on replying until later when I feel better/etc. Most of my friends understand this and some of them are even think alike; I can send a message to (redacted >;p) and know not to expect a reply for a few hours to a day, even if I know for a fact that they're on their Disc playing a game or whatever.

Heck, sometimes I won't expect a reply at all. If X or Y sent me a message about "omg how cute are these bunnies" I probably wouldn't reply at all, because I have no interest in cute bunnies. They'd know that and wouldn't care. Same goes for if I were to send some random nonsense to them that has absolutely no relevance to them.

As an introvert who can only describe himself as being detached from most things, who has friends with a similar mindset, it's pretty normal not to expect instant replies or any reply at all dependent on what you try to talk about.

Reply 9

username5288204

btw, some people find dms/gcs anxiety-inducing and so stay away from replying, that’s the case with me. also some people who suffer from depression or other mental illnesses struggle to reply to messages. just keep that in mind :smile:

if there are other warning signs that your friends are toxic/dislike you then by all means, cut them off if you have to

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by nightingalegend

if there are other warning signs that your friends are toxic/dislike you then by all means, cut them off if you have to

Yeah I understand. Tbh being lonely takes a toll on my mental health as I often feel pretty isolated especially at uni and seeing people with their friend groups.

But I’d understand if someone wasn’t in the mood. I’m talking about consistent long replies

Reply 11

username1339858_

If they reply within a week then they are more or less busy, or with family, tired, not on the mood, maybe want to reply properly and so wait until they can, relaxing, taking a break, or they have set times in which to reply and have to prioritise who they reply to and when depending on the message, they may reply when they are bored and have nothing better to do etc
If they consisitently take longer than 2 weeks, and they do not give the type of reply that you can answer to and engage with them, I probably would give up

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 12

gomgossa

No they are still friends. Replying isn't most peoples biggest priority. I take a while to reply to all my friends, I am just not a lover of texting and find it quite draining to be talking to people all the time. I would run out of conversation! Most people I know are similar, too. I think you just have a misconception about this. The only person I reply to asap is my boyfriend.

Reply 13

Apzz

Original post by Anonymous

Yes people can be busy but we are students and at times it takes them 10-15hours to open my message.

I feel like if someone actually cares then they can easily make time

just think this way, they all love u and they care a lot about u. and just because they too some time more to reply your message doesn't mean that they don't want to be ur friend or don't wanna talk to you. it happens to me and I think the way you think most of my time and I don't message them I'm the end after one week they call me ask me "hey haven't see you for a while what happend ,everything ok with u?" and that makes me feel like an idiot again.😂. but not everyone is the way I said some people think that "hanging out with that nerd would make me a nerd" you know what u should do to them just ignore them. or make fun of them. I bet that would make u feel more happy