Gcse creative writing

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Imstressed24/7
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#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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I do AQA English language I wrote 2 paragraph of writing not really based on anything just to practice I was wondering if anyone can point out any improvements or corrections.

Aggressively the wind roared giving me shivers, the streets were completely deserted, the rain punished us. Thousands of ostentatious windows on the high rise building look like millions of diamonds. Pallets of water spat on the ground . Glancing backwards to see if anyone is following me.

Knowing everything I know i wouldn’t ever do this again, the pit of my stomach is dreamily erratic in such a way I’ve never left before. My eyes are bruised: my green irises are silently shrieking and are now losing the bright bubbly colour which always really presented vibrantly

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18ahussain
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(Original post by Imstressed24/7)
I do AQA English language I wrote 2 paragraph of writing not really based on anything just to practice I was wondering if anyone can point out any improvements or corrections.

Aggressively the wind roared giving me shivers, the streets were completely deserted, the rain punished us. Thousands of ostentatious windows on the high rise building look like millions of diamonds. Pallets of water spat on the ground . Glancing backwards to see if anyone is following me.

Knowing everything I know i wouldn’t ever do this again, the pit of my stomach is dreamily erratic in such a way I’ve never left before. My eyes are bruised: my green irises are silently shrieking and are now losing the bright bubbly colour which always really presented vibrantly

Please give me feedback on this
wow your text is really good its doesnt really need any improving i might steal a few sentences !
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Imstressed24/7
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#3
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(Original post by 18ahussain)
wow your text is really good its doesnt really need any improving i might steal a few sentences !
Go ahead🤣
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