I think my dad supports honour killings....

Watch
Anonymous #1
#61
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#61
(Original post by Cryoraptor)
Yes, the religion where you kill your daughter because she doesn't want to marry who you want her to
I think its more culture. my dad is Pakistani and uses islam to justify his beliefs but it doesnt say anywhere in islam that its ok to murder
He also has extremist views and is in the minority and personally I dont think he is a proper muslim and they wouldnt believe in "honour" killings

I dont think you should define the religion in that way as muslims dont believe in things like this.
0
reply
Cryoraptor
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#62
Report 2 weeks ago
#62
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think its more culture. my dad is Pakistani and uses islam to justify his beliefs but it doesnt say anywhere in islam that its ok to murder
He also has extremist views and is in the minority and personally I dont think he is a proper muslim and they wouldnt believe in "honour" killings

I dont think you should define the religion in that way as muslims dont believe in things like this.
No such thing as a proper Muslim mate. No 2 muslims share the same beliefs, and no 2 muslims have exactly the same idea of what a proper Muslim is.

Your dad and extremist groups are real muslims in the same way Westboro and the KKK are real Christians. There are both reasonable and utterly barbaric things in all abrahamic religions, which ones you take to heart are a different matter.

On the matter of honour killings, you're a bit outnumbered on that one considering how common it and other forms of unjust barbaric punishment are across borders in the Islamic world.

But I'm not here to turn this into a religious debate.
0
reply
Gundabad(good)
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#63
Report 2 weeks ago
#63
(Original post by mgi)
Islam. The religion of compassion and peace.
Are you being sarcastic? I just don't know what to think of that phrase anymore.
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#64
Report 2 weeks ago
#64
(Original post by Gundabad(good))
Are you being sarcastic? I just don't know what to think of that phrase anymore.
A true muslim shows those qualities. Those who believe in "honour killings" aka murders are not muslims.
0
reply
Cryoraptor
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#65
Report 2 weeks ago
#65
(Original post by mgi)
A true muslim shows those qualities. Those who believe in "honour killings" aka murders are not muslims.
By that logic, Westboro and the KKK aren't real Christians, and extreme Zionists aren't true Jews. You can't have it both ways.
1
reply
Gee05
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#66
Report 2 weeks ago
#66
(Original post by mgi)
A true muslim shows those qualities. Those who believe in "honour killings" aka murders are not muslims.
so true (peace be upon you)😊
1
reply
generallee
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#67
Report 2 weeks ago
#67
We don't know enough to properly advise you, only you have the information necessary to come to a view as to whether your life is really at risk.

But I would make the following observations, with the caveat that it is very general and not specific to your individual circumstances:

1. You have to live a life that makes YOU happy, (or at least not desperately miserable), and that is unlikely to involve taking major decisions according to the wishes of your parents.

2. This IS possible in this country, in a way it perhaps wouldn't be in Pakistan (I don't know maybe it would there too?) but it is incredibly difficult. It almost certainly will involve breaking from your family and the community they are so concerned about being "dishonoured" in the eyes of.

3. That is likely to be some time in the future when you are older, more mature, more able to be independent, and have other life opportunities. You are going to have to play a long game and be patient.

4. Don't be defiant. Don't be totally accepting either, see whether there is any possibility of having an independent life with your parents still a part of it, keep your options open.

5. Make contact (secretly) with people who can help you make good decisions with your safety always paramount. That is likely to involve other girls who have gone through this already. Seek them out, online, but be careful. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES LET YOUR FAMILY KNOW THAT YOU ARE DOING THIS. There are support networks for girls in your situation, you are not alone. Make use of the experience and wisdom of others.

6. Don't go to the police. If you ever do at a later stage don't ever expect them to be able to protect you, and be careful that they don't further endanger you.

You face a really difficult few years. I feel for you because you are being exposed to two cultures, the laissez faire western one and that of your ancestral homeland. They aren't compatible in lots of ways. But honour killings are not OK, it is really as simple as that. That culture is deplorable, however much we criticise the weaknesses of the western one.

At the end of the day you may find it easier to go with the flow and your parents may allow you enough freedom to make life tolerable. That may be for the best. Don't underestimate how difficult it will be to break from your family and the drawbacks of choosing that life. Which may involve moving to another town or city, always watching your back when you meet other members of the Pakistani diaspora in that new town, in case word of you gets back to your family. But that will be something only you can decide, at some time in the future.

Until then watch and wait, but be REALLY careful.

Good luck.
2
reply
Anonymous #1
#68
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#68
(Original post by generallee)
We don't know enough to properly advise you, only you have the information necessary to come to a view as to whether your life is really at risk.

But I would make the following observations, with the caveat that it is very general and not specific to your individual circumstances:

1. You have to live a life that makes YOU happy, (or at least not desperately miserable), and that is unlikely to involve taking major decisions according to the wishes of your parents.

2. This IS possible in this country, in a way it perhaps wouldn't be in Pakistan (I don't know maybe it would there too?) but it is incredibly difficult. It almost certainly will involve breaking from your family and the community they are so concerned about being "dishonoured" in the eyes of.

3. That is likely to be some time in the future when you are older, more mature, more able to be independent, and have other life opportunities. You are going to have to play a long game and be patient.

4. Don't be defiant. Don't be totally accepting either, see whether there is any possibility of having an independent life with your parents still a part of it, keep your options open.

5. Make contact (secretly) with people who can help you make good decisions with your safety always paramount. That is likely to involve other girls who have gone through this already. Seek them out, online, but be careful. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES LET YOUR FAMILY KNOW THAT YOU ARE DOING THIS. There are support networks for girls in your situation, you are not alone. Make use of the experience and wisdom of others.

6. Don't go to the police. If you ever do at a later stage don't ever expect them to be able to protect you, and be careful that they don't further endanger you.

You face a really difficult few years. I feel for you because you are being exposed to two cultures, the laissez faire western one and that of your ancestral homeland. They aren't compatible in lots of ways. But honour killings are not OK, it is really as simple as that. That culture is deplorable, however much we criticise the weaknesses of the western one.

At the end of the day you may find it easier to go with the flow and your parents may allow you enough freedom to make life tolerable. That may be for the best. Don't underestimate how difficult it will be to break from your family and the drawbacks of choosing that life. Which may involve moving to another town or city, always watching your back when you meet other members of the Pakistani diaspora in that new town, in case word of you gets back to your family. But that will be something only you can decide, at some time in the future.

Until then watch and wait, but be REALLY careful.

Good luck.
Thank you. I really appreciate this
0
reply
Lilymae69
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#69
Report 2 weeks ago
#69
report him to the police. he is a danger to society
0
reply
Gundabad(good)
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#70
Report 2 weeks ago
#70
(Original post by mgi)
A true muslim shows those qualities. Those who believe in "honour killings" aka murders are not muslims.
Okay... :confused:
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#71
Report 2 weeks ago
#71
(Original post by Gee05)
so true (peace be upon you)😊
And you too😁
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#72
Report 2 weeks ago
#72
(Original post by Gundabad(good))
Okay... :confused:
Why do you appear confused?
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#73
Report 2 weeks ago
#73
(Original post by Cryoraptor)
Yes, the religion of peace where you kill your daughter because she doesn't want to marry who you want her to
Sorry, but this type of reply is so disgusting. In Islam, it's been made clear that it is compulsory to give your daughter the final choice before going ahead with a marriage, and to go by that. Honour killings have nothing to do with religion, and are rather something to do with the culture. Please do your research properly before making such vile comments.
0
reply
Julesandjasmine
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#74
Report 2 weeks ago
#74
(Original post by chopingirl)
You are in danger. Your opinions will only endanger you further so keep them to yourself and act the obedient subject they expect. Talk to the police and with their help plan to move permanently away from your parents. Your life and your sister's life depends on it. Are you a boy or a girl?
This is good advice I would also visit The Citizens advice bureau but whatever you do just try to act normally for now and then get out as soon as you can. Good luck
1
reply
mgi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#75
Report 2 weeks ago
#75
(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry, but this type of reply is so disgusting. In Islam, it's been made clear that it is compulsory to give your daughter the final choice before going ahead with a marriage, and to go by that. Honour killings have nothing to do with religion, and are rather something to do with the culture. Please do your research properly before making such vile comments.
So why not also call this aspect of culture "vile" as well. "Culture" does not always talk sense!
0
reply
Julesandjasmine
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#76
Report 2 weeks ago
#76
(Original post by mgi)
So why not also call this aspect of culture "vile" as well. "Culture" does not always talk sense!
My comment was not disgusting. There was nothing disgusting about it. It was a good piece of advice to a young woman who is clearly in danger and honour killing is and always will be wrong.
0
reply
mgi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#77
Report 2 weeks ago
#77
(Original post by Julesandjasmine)
My comment was not disgusting. There was nothing disgusting about it. It was a good piece of advice to a young woman who is clearly in danger and honour killing is and always will be wrong.
I didn't accuse you of anything! It was not me!! And i completely agree with you. Just remember that if a muslim supports honour murders then he/she is not a muslim!
0
reply
Julesandjasmine
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#78
Report 2 weeks ago
#78
(Original post by mgi)
I didn't accuse you of anything! It was not me!! And i completely agree with you. Just remember that if a muslim supports honour murders then he/she is not a muslim!
Sorry for the confusion and I am glad you agree with me
1
reply
mgi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#79
Report 2 weeks ago
#79
(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry, but this type of reply is so disgusting. In Islam, it's been made clear that it is compulsory to give your daughter the final choice before going ahead with a marriage, and to go by that. Honour killings have nothing to do with religion, and are rather something to do with the culture. Please do your research properly before making such vile comments.
He should also not be telling his daughter who she must marry! That is disgraceful.
2
reply
Anonymous #2
#80
Report 2 weeks ago
#80
(Original post by mgi)
He should also not be telling his daughter who she must marry! That is disgraceful.
(Original post by mgi)
So why not also call this aspect of culture "vile" as well. "Culture" does not always talk sense!
I think you're confused about what I was trying to say. The person who left a sarcastic comment was clearly trying to hint at the idea that Honour Killings are something to do with religion with is completely wrong - rather, it is something do with a culture. Again, I, in no way, support or accept honour killings and think they are disgusting, I just found it disrespectful that this person is giving the wrong idea that they are a part of religion.
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you confident you could find support for your mental health if you needed it in COVID-19?

Yes (93)
22.41%
No (322)
77.59%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed