I cheated without knowing

Watch
Chopinnocturne31
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#61
Report 2 weeks ago
#61
(Original post by ANM775)
I honestly don't know how people can say that with such a far fetched story.

I'm not saying it definitely is a troll, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if it turned out this was

edit: i'm not the anon btw, but i can see why he thinks it's a troll
Ok there’s a chance it is a troll, as with any other thread on here. Either way, with such a sensitive subject, I think it’s completely insensitive to say it is unless you’re 100% sure about it. Even if this is a troll, this could easily have actually happened to someone else and comments like that will just make them think that they won’t be believed. Whether it’s a troll or not, it’s always best to treat these threads like it’s not one because what if it really isn’t and someone has lots of strangers on the internet not believing them about their rape? The damage that can do is ridiculously large
1
reply
Anonymous #11
#62
Report 2 weeks ago
#62
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've worked on a lot of similar cases and at the very least you would get a sexual assault conviction (as he started his assault while she was sleeping) and possibly a second rape charge. As with almost all such cases, it depends on the jury (if he pleads not guilty) and one person's word against another's, but she has a very strong and convincing case here. There is enough here for the CPS to bring one and possibly two charges. Remember, the Stanford rapist was convicted on the basis of the very powerful victim impact statement. It's very rare for anyone else to be present in these offences. A statement can be enough for burden of proof. The fact her bf was at the same party, she was sleeping and she thought her attacker was someone else are further evidence.

If you are the perpetrator in this offence, I hope you are reading this and sh**ting your pants. You should be very afraid. And anyone else here who thinks it's okay to get into bed with a sleeping woman and do the same, you are in the same league as the likes of Fred West and Harvey Weinstein.
Seriously? Strong apart from the lack of any evidence.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#63
Report 2 weeks ago
#63
(Original post by Chopinnocturne31)
Ok there’s a chance it is a troll, as with any other thread on here. Either way, with such a sensitive subject, I think it’s completely insensitive to say it is unless you’re 100% sure about it. Even if this is a troll, this could easily have actually happened to someone else and comments like that will just make them think that they won’t be believed. Whether it’s a troll or not, it’s always best to treat these threads like it’s not one because what if it really isn’t and someone has lots of strangers on the internet not believing them about their rape? The damage that can do is ridiculously large
PRSOM ()
0
reply
black tea
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#64
Report 2 weeks ago
#64
(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
I think that's sexual assault actually. He might have asked for your consent but if you have reason to believe it was your partner, and not this other guy, he clearly didn't make it obvious who he was.
How was the guy to know that OP thought he was her boyfriend?! As far as he is concerned , he asked for consent and she said yes. I feel so sorry for guys, they can do everything right and still get accused of assault.
1
reply
Catherine1973
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#65
Report 2 weeks ago
#65
I suppose this thread is NOT the place to really discuss the criminal evidence needed. It’s an interesting subject in the abstract but not when it’s on about a specific person who it had happened to.
Speaking to a councillor is probably next step if desired.
0
reply
Napp
  • Political Ambassador
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#66
Report 2 weeks ago
#66
(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
That's something you do not mention, you forget ever happened
Not exactly the basis for a good relationship if you lie about sleeping with strangers and just pretend it never happened. Especially if/when it comes out.
0
reply
SoulfulTwist
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#67
Report 2 weeks ago
#67
(Original post by Napp)
Not exactly the basis for a good relationship if you lie about sleeping with strangers and just pretend it never happened. Especially if/when it comes out.
Story seemed far fetched, I am not entirely sure it is real
0
reply
xoxAngel_Kxox
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#68
Report 2 weeks ago
#68
(Original post by black tea)
How was the guy to know that OP thought he was her boyfriend?! As far as he is concerned , he asked for consent and she said yes. I feel so sorry for guys, they can do everything right and still get accused of assault.
Erm, perhaps he should have been making sure she'd actually seen him first?
0
reply
nursingstudentuk
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#69
Report 2 weeks ago
#69
(Original post by Anonymous)
*For context, I'm talking about a scenario that happened this time last year and away from risks with covid.*

Last year I was at a house party and my boyfriend took me to bed as I was getting tired. He said he'd stay with me a while.

I was woken up by kissing on the back of my neck (like how my boyfriend does) and thought it was quite hot we were at a party about about to have sex (totally outside my comfort zone). I remember him whispering, asking if I was ok to have sex/I was able to consent and I said yes. We had sex not facing each other for the first time.

Turns out, it wasn't my boyfriend and rather someone at the party who just happened to have a similar build to him. I was mortified and so upset, but I kept it to myself all this time. I'm still with my boyfriend, and we were long-term even before this event. I love him and would never want to hurt him. I have two girlfriends who told me not to say anything because it would cause unnecessary pain as I didn't seek to cheat.

I'm convinced he's the person I will get married to (I'm not some dewey-eyed school girl, we're talking late twenties).

Would you want to be told? / Would you say something?
theres no point in telling him, and for the record, you did not cheat! You didn't realise. Cheating has intent! So I hope you dont feel any guilt about this, it was not your fault!
0
reply
ANM775
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#70
Report 2 weeks ago
#70
(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
Erm, perhaps he should have been making sure she'd actually seen him first?
It's up to her to do her own due diligence not him 🙄

If someone is dopey enough to walk into a wall because they had their eyes closed you don't blame the wall.

same thing here.
2
reply
Bio 7
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#71
Report 2 weeks ago
#71
(Original post by ANM775)
It's up to her to do her own due diligence not him 🙄

If someone is dopey enough to walk into a wall because they had their eyes closed you don't blame the wall.

same thing here.
Deleted.
Last edited by Bio 7; 2 weeks ago
0
reply
Pchim
Badges: 11
#72
Report 2 weeks ago
#72
My concern would be if you know who this person is they might tell people and you wont get to be the one who tells your boyfriend. Sounds like a genuine mix up although i feel like id notice due to different techniques ect but if its true you genuinely didnt id personally say dont tell unless the guilt and worry is eating you up. Sometimes clearing your chest will help you especially since this experience may have caused you some mental trauma, you are clearly still thinking about it and worrying or you wouldnt of done a post about it. But on the other hand you then have to accept that your boyfriend might not believed your story and leave you. At this point id say its too late to confess as its not the act its the secret you kept thatd upset your boyfriend and if you really love him and dont want to lose him i feel telling him would push him away. Good luck x
0
reply
black tea
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#73
Report 2 weeks ago
#73
(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
Erm, perhaps he should have been making sure she'd actually seen him first?
Why? She agreed to have sex with him even without seeing him. How was he to know he sounded like her boyfriend, or that she even had a boyfriend?
Last edited by black tea; 2 weeks ago
0
reply
ANM775
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#74
Report 2 weeks ago
#74
(Original post by Bio 7)
She was drunk and had just been sleeping, to anyone she clearly wasn't in the state of mind to expect someone kissing her and wanting to have sex wasn't her boyfriend when he was also at the party.

I wouldn't bother reporting since nothing will come of it most likely but this guy is a sleazy pr*ck.
Where did she say she was drunk?
She didn't.

She had just been sleeping yes. but she was certainly awake when he asked for sex.

Sorry, but this girl didn't do her own due diligence and that's her bad ... not his
0
reply
black tea
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#75
Report 2 weeks ago
#75
(Original post by Bio 7)
She was drunk and had just been sleeping, to anyone she clearly wasn't in the state of mind to expect someone kissing her and wanting to have sex wasn't her boyfriend when he was also at the party.

I wouldn't bother reporting since nothing will come of it most likely but this guy is a sleazy pr*ck.
She did not say she was drunk? She said she was "confident [she] was able to give consent fully".
Last edited by black tea; 2 weeks ago
0
reply
Bio 7
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#76
Report 2 weeks ago
#76
(Original post by black tea)
Why? She agreed to have sex with him even without seeing him. How was he to know he sounded like her boyfriend, to that she even had a boyfriend?
So we're just breezing past the part where he wakes her up by kissing her neck?
1
reply
Bio 7
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#77
Report 2 weeks ago
#77
(Original post by black tea)
She did not say she was drunk.
Ok I clearly filled that part in myself and I was wrong.
0
reply
black tea
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#78
Report 2 weeks ago
#78
(Original post by Bio 7)
So we're just breezing past the part where he wakes her up by kissing her neck?
See my post above - she felt she was able to give consent. She didn't check who it was - sound weird to me, but understandable if the guy did sound and act like her boyfriend.
0
reply
royalty1702
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#79
Report 2 weeks ago
#79
Assuming that this did happen, it's best if you're honest. Honesty is the best policy.

Although he would wonder why it took you so long to tell him
1
reply
nursingstudentuk
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#80
Report 2 weeks ago
#80
(Original post by ANM775)
It's up to her to do her own due diligence not him 🙄

If someone is dopey enough to walk into a wall because they had their eyes closed you don't blame the wall.

same thing here.
you think this is her fault? you are just so wrong, and what you are saying is hurtful. If anything, she is the wall in that scenario ^^
Its not like she was lying completely alone, then someone came up to her and she didnt bother to check it was her boyfriend, she led down with her boyfriend in the first place, then at some point there was a switch that she didnt notice. Every single time my boyfriend touches me am I supposed to turn around in the bed and check its him again and again? Why would she assume hed changed to a different person? Dont be so nasty

Edit: ok I get what you're saying. I dont think it is the guys fault either, it seems he asked and got consent. There was just a misunderstanding. Its not her fault either. Its no ones. The only lesson really to be learned is the dangers of alcohol and parties
Last edited by nursingstudentuk; 2 weeks ago
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you confident you could find support for your mental health if you needed it in COVID-19?

Yes (74)
21.51%
No (270)
78.49%

Watched Threads

View All