Really scared about making uni friends

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 8 months ago
#1
I don't have any friends from sixth form or school. I'm at outgoing person and very bubbly but I can be a beg in terms of letting people walk all over me if it means they'll like me. I start uni in January so all the freshers events will be over so most people outside of my course will have already made friends. I'm commuting so can't make flat friends. My university has a narrow range of societies half of which don't run. I just want to meet my people at uni and make friends and I don't think I will and its really scaring me.
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springdcy
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i’m in the same boat as you but from the advice i’ve been getting try not to stress too much about it you’ve got the whole year to make friends and the next 3 to 4 years as well!! there will always be people to make friends with as long as you’re putting yourself out there whether that’s when you join your class when your course starts or through volunteering/societies!! which uni will you be attending? maybe try to see if they have a gc for your course on facebook that’s one way to stay connected to your course mates
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 8 months ago
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(Original post by springdcy)
i’m in the same boat as you but from the advice i’ve been getting try not to stress too much about it you’ve got the whole year to make friends and the next 3 to 4 years as well!! there will always be people to make friends with as long as you’re putting yourself out there whether that’s when you join your class when your course starts or through volunteering/societies!! which uni will you be attending? maybe try to see if they have a gc for your course on facebook that’s one way to stay connected to your course mates
I've met my course mates on groups and they seem lovely just not my type of people. They're into drinking, clubbing and I'm not into that. I'm just scared of it all and that I won't find my people at uni. I just wish I could vent it all to someone but I'm not close to anyone and a lot of issues of me making friends comes from my family not allowing me to go out with friends but I want to so I don't want to make friends with parents like mine because I want to explore and go out. I just dont know what to do.
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username3113730
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I can completely relate to how you’re feeling as I was in a similar position when I was starting first year a year ago. I almost didn’t even go as I was honestly so terrified ! Firstly it is completely normal to be nervous about starting uni and making friends so you’re definitely not alone in that. From my experience of first year I found that there was a whole range of different people, yes some people are the type to go out drinking and clubbing a lot but trust me there are also a lot of people who aren’t into that too ! Uni is honestly so much more diverse than school so you’ll meet so many people with different interests that you will definitely make friends ! Also the best thing is that even if you didn’t have the best experience in sixth form (which I also didn’t) you can literally start from fresh at uni as no one will know you from before. Also as you said you’re commuting there’s bound to be lots of other people who are too so maybe you could ask in group chats to find other people who are as well and it could be a great way to make friends. And some unis also have a commuters society or something like that so maybe see if your uni has one. Good luck with starting uni ! My DMs are always open if you want to chat more about this x
Last edited by username3113730; 8 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 8 months ago
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(Original post by okurr123)
I can completely relate to how you’re feeling as I was in a similar position when I was starting first year a year ago. I almost didn’t even go as I was honestly so terrified ! Firstly it is completely normal to be nervous about starting uni and making friends so you’re definitely not alone in that. From my experience of first year I found that there was a whole range of different people, yes some people are the type to go out drinking and clubbing a lot but trust me there are also a lot of people who aren’t into that too ! Uni is honestly so much more diverse than school so you’ll meet so many people with different interests that you will definitely make friends ! Also the best thing is that even if you didn’t have the best experience in sixth form (which I also didn’t) you can literally start from fresh at uni as no one will know you from before. Also as you said you’re commuting there’s bound to be lots of other people who are too so maybe you could ask in group chats to find other people who are as well and it could be a great way to make friends. And some unis also have a commuters society or something like that so maybe see if your uni has one. Good luck with starting uni ! My DMs are always open if you want to chat more about this x
Thank you very much. I do think uni will be a lot more diverse then school I just think I won't make friends that give me the same energy I give them. I've always been the friend that cares and the one who always messages first and it gets draining. I need to use these 4 months to fix my mental health and love myself so I can make friends at uni but I just don't think my home Is the right environment for that. I might pm you if I need someone to talk to. Thank you.
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Anonymous #2
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Don’t make them you don’t need them
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you very much. I do think uni will be a lot more diverse then school I just think I won't make friends that give me the same energy I give them. I've always been the friend that cares and the one who always messages first and it gets draining. I need to use these 4 months to fix my mental health and love myself so I can make friends at uni but I just don't think my home Is the right environment for that. I might pm you if I need someone to talk to. Thank you.
Honestly, I’ve been that friend too and I’m still her. Uni friends get really busy and stop caring much. They’re like adult friends and not secondary so definitely don’t expect them to message you all the time
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University of Sussex Official Reps
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't have any friends from sixth form or school. I'm at outgoing person and very bubbly but I can be a beg in terms of letting people walk all over me if it means they'll like me. I start uni in January so all the freshers events will be over so most people outside of my course will have already made friends. I'm commuting so can't make flat friends. My university has a narrow range of societies half of which don't run. I just want to meet my people at uni and make friends and I don't think I will and its really scaring me.
Hi there!

I can completely understand why you are worried but university is vastly different from school as the uni community is way bigger so therefore it is way more diverse! I had the same worry about meeting people and making friends when I got to university but there are so many ways to make friends. One of the best ways is to look into societies that interest you, not all events will be drinking and going out to social events, societies can host a mix of things to help those you are more introverted too. I would say societies is one place to look to see where to meet people who are more on your level.

Also, you are likely to make friends on your course as you would be studying with them for the next few years. Have a look on facebook for pages and groupchats for your course and interact with them before uni starts, this will help with the nerves
In my experience, I have friends I have made at the beginning of university AND I have made friends halfway through my course or in various other places so I think it is important to remind ourselves that there is no time stamp for making friends. If you feel you need more support, there are services on campus, such as the Student Life Center, which I am sure all universities have in some form, to support and help you Hope this is helpful!

Kind regards,
Meena (3rd Year Politics Student)
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flor3nce
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I feel the exact same, you're not alone. even though i live pretty far from my uni, i decided not to move into halls/find a flatshare because i thought it was too expensive and was hesitant cos of the pandemic, but i really wish i had just done it now. I don't really have any close friends from high school, the two i did have have moved out and i'm looking at them on social media drinking and having fun with all these new people and i feel so left out I feel like it's going to be harder aswell because of covid/off campus learning. I've joined a group chat for my subject but they all seem to know eachother already and be living in student accom so it feels more isolating.
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