feeling incredibly guilty for not getting involved

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
my friends and i were walking by our school today when we heard a man in a house yell "you c***", the sound of something making impact against another thing (couldn't tell if he hit a wall, hit someone or dropped something) and a child whimpering. we didn't know what was happening so we didn't know if we should've gotten involved or not. i remember exactly where the house is and i've instructed one of my friends to walk by that area daily and listen to see if there are any reasons to be concerned. we were videocalling a friend while walking and chatting and she heard the noises showing they were clearly loud enough for her to be concerned.

i worry that if there's an anon tip off someone could get hurt even worse. i feel guilty for not doing anything. i keep thinking about a poor child hiding in fear and i'm so concerned something is happening. i'm scared that someone is being abused. what if i had the chance to intervene and i blew it? what if getting involved hurts someone even more? should i visit the house knock on the door and ask if everything is ok? what if i am wasting the police's time? what if it was an isolated incident and i'm overthinking this whole situation? is there any point dwelling on it now? we tried looking for teachers because we didn't know what we could have done about it but god there was no one around and i feel so guilty. i had a working phone and i chose to walk away. if anyones hurt or godforbid because we didn't do anything. im scared.
0
reply
kittien9
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
do NOT go to the house and knock. If it's concerning you, you can report it online on the police website or call 111.
1
reply
historynerd47
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 weeks ago
#3
(Original post by kittien9)
do NOT go to the house and knock. If it's concerning you, you can report it online on the police website or call 111.
yes agree, see what you can do to report it but please don't put yourself in danger
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#4
okay i won't. if i call them tomorrow and describe the incident and say it happened yesterday would they get involved even though a day has passed and i just say that i'm concerned or is it worth waiting until i hear more noises and have reason to be concerned.
(Original post by kittien9)
do NOT go to the house and knock. If it's concerning you, you can report it online on the police website or call 111.
i just feel reluctant to call them in case nothing is happening and i've just wasted their time. it's probably to be better safe than sorry right
(Original post by historynerd47)
yes agree, see what you can do to report it but please don't put yourself in danger
0
reply
historynerd47
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 2 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
okay i won't. if i call them tomorrow and describe the incident and say it happened yesterday would they get involved even though a day has passed and i just say that i'm concerned or is it worth waiting until i hear more noises and have reason to be concerned.


i just feel reluctant to call them in case nothing is happening and i've just wasted their time. it's probably to be better safe than sorry right
I'm really not an expert on this but I would say better safe than sorry, yeah. Please don't feel super guilty, you obviously care so much and so I'm sure you'll do the right thing!
0
reply
ScarletCelestia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
my friends and i were walking by our school today when we heard a man in a house yell "you c***", the sound of something making impact against another thing (couldn't tell if he hit a wall, hit someone or dropped something) and a child whimpering. we didn't know what was happening so we didn't know if we should've gotten involved or not. i remember exactly where the house is and i've instructed one of my friends to walk by that area daily and listen to see if there are any reasons to be concerned. we were videocalling a friend while walking and chatting and she heard the noises showing they were clearly loud enough for her to be concerned.

i worry that if there's an anon tip off someone could get hurt even worse. i feel guilty for not doing anything. i keep thinking about a poor child hiding in fear and i'm so concerned something is happening. i'm scared that someone is being abused. what if i had the chance to intervene and i blew it? what if getting involved hurts someone even more? should i visit the house knock on the door and ask if everything is ok? what if i am wasting the police's time? what if it was an isolated incident and i'm overthinking this whole situation? is there any point dwelling on it now? we tried looking for teachers because we didn't know what we could have done about it but god there was no one around and i feel so guilty. i had a working phone and i chose to walk away. if anyones hurt or godforbid because we didn't do anything. im scared.
As a bystander you don't need to be involved with it and I think you and your friend are obviously concerned - however it's better to call an authority since they have the powers to make a change. If you think there's possible abuse going on then call a relevant authority. Since you know the address you can call the NSPCC helpline (https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-chi...-abuse/report/) since there may be a child involved. If you think you need to speak over the options more there is also the Domestic Abuse Hotline (https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/).

My point is that you shouldn't do anything yourself in person since it would be dangerous to yourself. If you/your friend have heard noises more than once it may not be an isolated incident. By making a phone call to a dedicated line you are not wasting anyone's time. It's never too late to make a change. Just remember, you're only one person in a time where a lot of the institutions that help prevent this are unavailable (namely, schools). You should not feel guilty for doing what you think was best.

I hope this helps you.
0
reply
Surnia
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#7
Report 2 weeks ago
#7
Do not go to the house as you aren't trained to deal with anything like this; you don't know what to ask or have authority to enter. That's why you need to call the police on the non-emergency number and give them the details. The police will have a record of any previous incidents of violence or abuse at that address that have previously been reported, in which case your information will go towards seeing a pattern of abuse. If it's a first report, the police will then have that address as one of concern. That's why it's not a waste of time, even though it's after the event.

In future, if you think or know a crime is taking place, dial 999.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you confident you could find support for your mental health if you needed it in COVID-19?

Yes (77)
21.57%
No (280)
78.43%

Watched Threads

View All