Flatmate asked me to watch a film in his room alone, when I have a boyfriend?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Ok so I’ve been in this flat since last year and just last week I got a new flatmate (who’d lived in this accom previously as well). When he moved in, I had my boyfriend over (as I wasn’t sure when people would be moving in and I thought he might be gone by the time they would), who he met and my bf left the next day. My flatmate is actually alright, we can talk about stuff and it’s nice because I didn’t really have that with my past flatmates. We’ve hung out a few times since then (took a trip to tesco, go thrifting etc) but yesterday a new flatmate moved in which I was glad about because it felt a bit weird being just the two of us.
Although, my first flatmate was texting me about having a movie night and I was down for it because I thought he meant all three of us but then he said “I thought about it just being the two of us👀” which makes me a little uncomfortable considering it would have to take place in his room or mine (the TV is broke :/). I just want to know if I’m overthinking this a bit? I feel like watching a movie alone with a guy in his room, when I have a boyfriend, is wrong? Or at least considering it is something me and my boyfriend do, it wouldn’t be right? I will also mention how my bf said he would feel uncomfortable with me being in another guy’s room and I feel it is a bit weird when we have another flatmate now for it just be us two??
I did just say to him that I wasn’t sure about that and I think he was upset about it.
Am I just overthinking this or am I right by saying no? I don’t think I ever did/said anything to give off the wrong impression to this guy...
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
I think you are overthinking it a bit as you are clearly faithful to your boyfriend and the guy probably knows that. Also, he won't want to jeprodise your friendship by doing anything. It is probably just innocent and you will have to get used to spending time with him anyway as you are living together.
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claireestelle
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#3
Report 1 year ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so I’ve been in this flat since last year and just last week I got a new flatmate (who’d lived in this accom previously as well). When he moved in, I had my boyfriend over (as I wasn’t sure when people would be moving in and I thought he might be gone by the time they would), who he met and my bf left the next day. My flatmate is actually alright, we can talk about stuff and it’s nice because I didn’t really have that with my past flatmates. We’ve hung out a few times since then (took a trip to tesco, go thrifting etc) but yesterday a new flatmate moved in which I was glad about because it felt a bit weird being just the two of us.
Although, my first flatmate was texting me about having a movie night and I was down for it because I thought he meant all three of us but then he said “I thought about it just being the two of us👀” which makes me a little uncomfortable considering it would have to take place in his room or mine (the TV is broke :/). I just want to know if I’m overthinking this a bit? I feel like watching a movie alone with a guy in his room, when I have a boyfriend, is wrong? Or at least considering it is something me and my boyfriend do, it wouldn’t be right? I will also mention how my bf said he would feel uncomfortable with me being in another guy’s room and I feel it is a bit weird when we have another flatmate now for it just be us two??
I did just say to him that I wasn’t sure about that and I think he was upset about it.
Am I just overthinking this or am I right by saying no? I don’t think I ever did/said anything to give off the wrong impression to this guy...
your flatmate might not necessarily have an ulterior motive so you could be overthinking it a little.
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Bio 7
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#4
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#4
I don't see a reason to make this uncomfortable. Just enjoy the film.
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StriderHort
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#5
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#5
Your boyfriend is insecure and you should be able to dynamically tell the difference between watching films and physical cheating.
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MidgetFever
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#6
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#6
Watching a movie is just watching a movie, it doesn't necessarily mean he plans on doing anything.
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Bagarigak
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#7
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#7
Since you feel uncertain about it, how about if you invite your new flatmate to join you guys watching the film? This would also be a nice way to get acquainted with your new flatmate.

Unlike other TSR users here, I don’t believe you are overthinking. Personally, I would not hang out with a guy alone if I had a boyfriend - your room is a very personal space. This is because there is always a chance that the guy will eventually show interest in you and may want to be more than friend to you.
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Anonymous #3
#8
Report 1 year ago
#8
(Original post by Nobodyy)
Since you feel uncertain about it, how about if you invite your new flatmate to join you guys watching the film? This would also be a nice way to get acquainted with your new flatmate.

Unlike other TSR users here, I don’t believe you are overthinking. Personally, I would not hang out with a guy alone if I had a boyfriend - your room is a very personal space. This is because there is always a chance that the guy will eventually show interest in you and may want to be more than friend to you.
Yes I agree with this, I am a guy and this is all very personal and close - too personal to be attributed just to friendship.
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Bio 7
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I agree with this, I am a guy and this is all very personal and close - too personal to be attributed just to friendship.
It's watching a film.
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Napp
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#10
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#10
You're probably overthinking it, unless he promptly puts on a porno in which case i'll reconsider my opinion.
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#11
(Original post by Napp)
You're probably overthinking it, unless he promptly puts on a porno in which case i'll reconsider my opinion.
Well he was on about watching The Room which has like 3 long s*x scenes in it so 😅
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ANM775
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so I’ve been in this flat since last year and just last week I got a new flatmate (who’d lived in this accom previously as well). When he moved in, I had my boyfriend over (as I wasn’t sure when people would be moving in and I thought he might be gone by the time they would), who he met and my bf left the next day. My flatmate is actually alright, we can talk about stuff and it’s nice because I didn’t really have that with my past flatmates. We’ve hung out a few times since then (took a trip to tesco, go thrifting etc) but yesterday a new flatmate moved in which I was glad about because it felt a bit weird being just the two of us.
Although, my first flatmate was texting me about having a movie night and I was down for it because I thought he meant all three of us but then he said “I thought about it just being the two of us👀” which makes me a little uncomfortable considering it would have to take place in his room or mine (the TV is broke :/). I just want to know if I’m overthinking this a bit? I feel like watching a movie alone with a guy in his room, when I have a boyfriend, is wrong? Or at least considering it is something me and my boyfriend do, it wouldn’t be right? I will also mention how my bf said he would feel uncomfortable with me being in another guy’s room and I feel it is a bit weird when we have another flatmate now for it just be us two??
I did just say to him that I wasn’t sure about that and I think he was upset about it.
Am I just overthinking this or am I right by saying no? I don’t think I ever did/said anything to give off the wrong impression to this guy...

guys are often sneaky like that.

I think he has some ulterior motives towards you. Why doesn't he want the other guy there?

seems fishy to me.

I would not be comfortable with a girl I was dating having these little secret 1 on 1 movie sessions in another guys bedroom where he is purposely blocking any other person from joining. Seems fishy.....
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Morebalanation
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#13
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#13
Just by him giving you the 👀 emoji it is clear what his intentions are😂😂.
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ChaddVinyl
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so I’ve been in this flat since last year and just last week I got a new flatmate (who’d lived in this accom previously as well). When he moved in, I had my boyfriend over (as I wasn’t sure when people would be moving in and I thought he might be gone by the time they would), who he met and my bf left the next day. My flatmate is actually alright, we can talk about stuff and it’s nice because I didn’t really have that with my past flatmates. We’ve hung out a few times since then (took a trip to tesco, go thrifting etc) but yesterday a new flatmate moved in which I was glad about because it felt a bit weird being just the two of us.
Although, my first flatmate was texting me about having a movie night and I was down for it because I thought he meant all three of us but then he said “I thought about it just being the two of us👀” which makes me a little uncomfortable considering it would have to take place in his room or mine (the TV is broke :/). I just want to know if I’m overthinking this a bit? I feel like watching a movie alone with a guy in his room, when I have a boyfriend, is wrong? Or at least considering it is something me and my boyfriend do, it wouldn’t be right? I will also mention how my bf said he would feel uncomfortable with me being in another guy’s room and I feel it is a bit weird when we have another flatmate now for it just be us two??
I did just say to him that I wasn’t sure about that and I think he was upset about it.
Am I just overthinking this or am I right by saying no? I don’t think I ever did/said anything to give off the wrong impression to this guy...
I think the most important thing is to consider what makes you feel comfortable and safe. In student accom it's not unusual to have slightly different customs when it comes to being in each others rooms - I spent a delightful Christmas sat on a bed with four girls - and no salacious intent was around. I think it might be best to talk to your boyfriend about it
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Anonymous #3
#15
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#15
(Original post by Bio 7)
It's watching a film.
Well done, you can read (somehow).
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Medkid7
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Bio 7)
It's watching a film.
This can be done in a cinema or in the company of others if OP is unsure
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ANM775
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Medkid7)
This can be done in a cinema or in the company of others if OP is unsure

and socially distanced at 2 meters apart to ensure no hanky panky 😉
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Anonymous #4
#18
Report 1 year ago
#18
(Original post by Bio 7)
It's watching a film.
So you’d be happy with your gf/bf watching a film with their flat mate alone in a room whilst watching a film with 3 sex scenes? Interesting
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londonmyst
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#19
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#19
Trust your gut instinct.
If you feel uncomfortable watching a film in your flatmate's room without your bf or anyone else being present, just say no.
But focus on what you want your feelings are telling you about something being "weird", not your bf's insecurities.
There is nothing wrong with watching a movie with a friend or socialising with guys.
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Anonymous #3
#20
Report 1 year ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
So you’d be happy with your gf/bf watching a film with their flat mate alone in a room whilst watching a film with 3 sex scenes? Interesting
He has no clue what he’s talking about, ignore him.
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