Guys opinions pleaseeeeee!

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
I have been with my bf 5 years. We have kids together and live together. He proposed when I was pregnant etc was a very serious relationship. He works full time telling me plans to get a mortgage for us to have a house etc etc.

Since having kids he’s kept me hidden. Practically like I don’t exist. Ofcourse his family know me but in his day to day life he appears like a single guy. People don’t know about me, it’s like we are strangers sometimes and the odd occasion he does mention me I’m referred to as ‘baby mom’ whereas before kids he introduced me to everyone and always called me his girl or wifey or mrs.

It’s a serious relationship and he has serious plans for the future for our family but I’m fed up of being kept hidden now. He never gives me a reason why. I can’t even follow him on social media even though he has every other family member and friend or anyone he’s ever met on there. He will post happy birthday stories for his family or clients yet has not even acknowledged my existence on his social media ever. He occasionally posts the kids. So yes maybe ‘private life happy life’ but it’s literally just me he keeps hidden completely. It’s been a few years now and I’m really fed up.

We never go out in public together and the very odd occasion we have he doesn’t even walk next to me. He will constantly take photos of him and the kids or get me to take pics of him with the kids but never ever includes me. In fact will tell me to get out the way. Not 1 family picture in like 2 years, not even for a photo album at home.

Now with his clients he appears as a single guy. And flirts with them to keep them sweet. I just spotted him working with his client and at the end they hugged each other. It’s really p*ssing me off that no one knows about me, I can’t even follow him on social media, even blocked on Snapchat and WhatsApp yet he has all these female clients and they can hug him like he doesn’t have a gf/FIANCÉE/babymom!!

What could the reason be??? I’ve questioned for years now and at first I thought I’m just not pretty enough and he’s embarrassed. But I’ve worked on myself and even when I’ve got all dressed up etc he won’t even include me in a photo. I’m really tired of being hidden, what’s the point of having a relationship for me to be hidden like I don’t exist? Are there any reasons you guys could think of for this?
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
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This is so awful, I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. It is not normal. You deserve someone that wants to show you off, not ignore your existence in public.
The only direct reason I can think of for this, except like some kind of manipulative, just cruel behaviour, is that he is long-term with someone else and removing you from his public life to avoid any cross over of you finding out. E.g. if his friends don't know about you, they can't let it slip. I may be wrong but that's all I can think of
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 2 weeks ago
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To clarify- either long-term with someone else (as this has been going on for so long) or seeing lots of people casually... letting his circle know he's available
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To clarify- either long-term with someone else (as this has been going on for so long) or seeing lots of people casually... letting his circle know he's available
Thanks for your reply and I completely understand what you mean. This is the strange thing though. He’s not with anyone else or anything like that. He has full on future plans for our family and is recently telling me he’s almost saved enough for a mortgage he wants to get for us. He 100% flirts with his clients and will tell me it’s to keep them as customers to make money off them. And yes many times I have caught him talking to girls on his phone and no doubt he still does it till this day. (I wouldn’t know though as it’s hidden from me). But he genuinely has no intention of moving on. I know this as I recently cut it off with him and made him move out and he could’ve taken that opportunity to do as he wanted but he begged to come back and was miserable and said he physically can’t be with anyone else but me. I do think he’s hiding me to benefit his business and keeping clients sweet etc as they are 95% female but there has got to be some other reason too. I’m so fed up what’s the point of a relationship if I’m just hidden?!?
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 2 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your reply and I completely understand what you mean. This is the strange thing though. He’s not with anyone else or anything like that. He has full on future plans for our family and is recently telling me he’s almost saved enough for a mortgage he wants to get for us. He 100% flirts with his clients and will tell me it’s to keep them as customers to make money off them. And yes many times I have caught him talking to girls on his phone and no doubt he still does it till this day. (I wouldn’t know though as it’s hidden from me). But he genuinely has no intention of moving on. I know this as I recently cut it off with him and made him move out and he could’ve taken that opportunity to do as he wanted but he begged to come back and was miserable and said he physically can’t be with anyone else but me. I do think he’s hiding me to benefit his business and keeping clients sweet etc as they are 95% female but there has got to be some other reason too. I’m so fed up what’s the point of a relationship if I’m just hidden?!?
Gosh that's really strange. I really don't know what to say.
But it is not you, it's never the fault of the person being mistreated. You don't need to change yourself at all.
If it were me, I would separate with him but I really think you should talk to your friends, your family etc about this and see what support you can get and what they think is going on, as they know both of you.
Best of luck, take care of yourself xx
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missling40
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#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
Maybe tell him how you feel and ask him about it? I really don't know what to say tbh. It's a very confusing situation. ;-;
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