I think I'm abusing ny boyfriend

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
Okay so I actually dont want to be doing this anymore and I hate myself for it everyday. I am a girl and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. He has mental health issues and he was really bad yesterday and I helped him through it but today he seemed better but I got bad and made him sad and really hurt him. Then the other day I forgot that he's autistic and I have to explain things fully to him and I got annoyed when he did something and didn't get when I didn't wanna do it. I made him feel so bad about it. I don't wanna hurt him and I don't wanna be the cause of it but I'm so scared I am. I try to be there for him but I don't think I can be in the way I should. I love him and he's so good to me and I like to believe the most of the time I am. But I get irritated at him for absolutely no reason what so ever and blame him for everything. I hate it. I tell him he's amazing and good enough but when I get in that horrible mood I will just say things and hurt him so badly. I can see myself doing it. I don't wanna loose him. I wanna be better. What the hell do I do? I ruin almost everything when we are together. I need help or advice. I wanna be better I don't want to make his mental health worse. He's been hurt before and I don't wanna be another reason for it
0
reply
Medici66
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
I take it by “ hurt “ you mean physically harm? Either way, what you have listed sounds like emotional abuse.

If you can’t deal with your own problems first, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. This is the outcome. It is never ok to abuse your partner within any capacity nor can you merely “change“ to make it better with said partner. Please take the time to seriously re-evaluate yourself before ever considering being in a relationship again.
3
reply
Anonymous #2
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay so I actually dont want to be doing this anymore and I hate myself for it everyday. I am a girl and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. He has mental health issues and he was really bad yesterday and I helped him through it but today he seemed better but I got bad and made him sad and really hurt him. Then the other day I forgot that he's autistic and I have to explain things fully to him and I got annoyed when he did something and didn't get when I didn't wanna do it. I made him feel so bad about it. I don't wanna hurt him and I don't wanna be the cause of it but I'm so scared I am. I try to be there for him but I don't think I can be in the way I should. I love him and he's so good to me and I like to believe the most of the time I am. But I get irritated at him for absolutely no reason what so ever and blame him for everything. I hate it. I tell him he's amazing and good enough but when I get in that horrible mood I will just say things and hurt him so badly. I can see myself doing it. I don't wanna loose him. I wanna be better. What the hell do I do? I ruin almost everything when we are together. I need help or advice. I wanna be better I don't want to make his mental health worse. He's been hurt before and I don't wanna be another reason for it
I think first apologise and acknowledge your behaviour and try to figure out what could be the cause. try to stop yourself before you speak whenever you feel annoyed/irritated/anger bubbling up check what your going to say, become more self aware of this and you should be good. its normal to have emotions and not be perfect all the time, as long as your not doing it in purposely then it can be corrected. if you feel like its a big problem perhaps talking to your GP can help figure whats going on.
0
reply
beneficialgirl
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
Break up, clearly both of you can’t function properly in a relationship together and need to work on yourselves.
0
reply
LovelyMrFox
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
Your communication styles are obviously different. You, someone who seems to have an excess amount of anger, and someone sensitive like him is not going to make for a health relationship in the slightest.
0
reply
Surnia
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
How old are you both?

Yes, it can be frustrating dealing with someone who has autism, but how can you 'forget' your boyfriend is autistic? It's who he is, it shapes his personality and behaviours, same as you have your preferences and, as you have said, don't like it when your boyfriend doesn't properly acknowledge those.

Have you actually done any research into autism and what it means for you and your boyfriend? Does he get the support he needs in other areas? Maybe you should read up and contact a support helpline such as:
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and...-life/partners

You need to make a quick decision on whether this is the relationship for you. It's not fair to either of you to continue like this and you need to be honest with yourself. Ignore that your boyfriend has been hurt before and decide if you will hurt him more by staying or going. If you can't change, it's best you walk away.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you confident you could find support for your mental health if you needed it in COVID-19?

Yes (74)
21.51%
No (270)
78.49%

Watched Threads

View All