I think I'm abusing ny boyfriendWatch
If you can’t deal with your own problems first, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. This is the outcome. It is never ok to abuse your partner within any capacity nor can you merely “change“ to make it better with said partner. Please take the time to seriously re-evaluate yourself before ever considering being in a relationship again.
Okay so I actually dont want to be doing this anymore and I hate myself for it everyday. I am a girl and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. He has mental health issues and he was really bad yesterday and I helped him through it but today he seemed better but I got bad and made him sad and really hurt him. Then the other day I forgot that he's autistic and I have to explain things fully to him and I got annoyed when he did something and didn't get when I didn't wanna do it. I made him feel so bad about it. I don't wanna hurt him and I don't wanna be the cause of it but I'm so scared I am. I try to be there for him but I don't think I can be in the way I should. I love him and he's so good to me and I like to believe the most of the time I am. But I get irritated at him for absolutely no reason what so ever and blame him for everything. I hate it. I tell him he's amazing and good enough but when I get in that horrible mood I will just say things and hurt him so badly. I can see myself doing it. I don't wanna loose him. I wanna be better. What the hell do I do? I ruin almost everything when we are together. I need help or advice. I wanna be better I don't want to make his mental health worse. He's been hurt before and I don't wanna be another reason for it
Yes, it can be frustrating dealing with someone who has autism, but how can you 'forget' your boyfriend is autistic? It's who he is, it shapes his personality and behaviours, same as you have your preferences and, as you have said, don't like it when your boyfriend doesn't properly acknowledge those.
Have you actually done any research into autism and what it means for you and your boyfriend? Does he get the support he needs in other areas? Maybe you should read up and contact a support helpline such as:
You need to make a quick decision on whether this is the relationship for you. It's not fair to either of you to continue like this and you need to be honest with yourself. Ignore that your boyfriend has been hurt before and decide if you will hurt him more by staying or going. If you can't change, it's best you walk away.