The Student Room Group

Quitting uni? Friend.

I got an odd text from my friend saying
'I just thought I'd let you know- due to personal reasons I'm no longer going to be attending university' (she would have been in her second year!)
She is an extremely hard working person!
I knew she was having some down days recently but I'm so shocked to hear this!!
What could I say to her?
Shall I ask her what made her think that?
Reply 1
If you are close enough with her then it shouldn’t be a problem to ask her why. If you are just classmates and don’t speak that much then you could ask her politely like ‘oh, I didn’t expect that haha, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you decide to leave? unless it’s too personal.’
Reply 2
Just ask her if she wants to talk, sometimes that can help people, but don't push her too because for some that will annoy them.

There are many reasons why she may have chosen to leave.
Reply 3
Original post by joycelai
If you are close enough with her then it shouldn’t be a problem to ask her why. If you are just classmates and don’t speak that much then you could ask her politely like ‘oh, I didn’t expect that haha, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you decide to leave? unless it’s too personal.’

Yes she is one of myclose friends she use to tell me things going on in her personal life and she does make some quick decisions at times without thinking about it and then later regrets it...
If she quit she could change her mind and still attend right?
University does not start in another 3 weeks yet.

I think she'll lie and say its due to Covid and how thats made her fearfuk of catching it or coming home and giving it to family
Reply 4
Original post by Bio 7
Just ask her if she wants to talk, sometimes that can help people, but don't push her too because for some that will annoy them.

There are many reasons why she may have chosen to leave.

I spoke to her a few minutes back and she text me saying 'there is not story behind it I just worry about returning esepcially as the area is a virus hotspot and I fear catching something and giving it to my family. And my mind is in so many places at once and i don't think i can learn anything anymore'

That is what she said but I feel it's not all due to the virus, she is using that as an excuse.
I'm not sure what i can say to her :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I spoke to her a few minutes back and she text me saying 'there is not story behind it I just worry about returning esepcially as the area is a virus hotspot and I fear catching something and giving it to my family. And my mind is in so many places at once and i don't think i can learn anything anymore'

That is what she said but I feel it's not all due to the virus, she is using that as an excuse.
I'm not sure what i can say to her :frown:

For some people it may be that- some people are quite fearful of the virus. She may have some underlying health conditions/worry for family members which you aren't aware of
Is the uni requiring her to be back on campus? Could she learn from home?

Ultimatetly it is her decision. Maybe also ask how long she's been feeling like this (i.e. is it actually a rash decision or more a thought out one)
Reply 6
Original post by AzureCeleste
For some people it may be that- some people are quite fearful of the virus. She may have some underlying health conditions/worry for family members which you aren't aware of
Is the uni requiring her to be back on campus? Could she learn from home?

Ultimatetly it is her decision. Maybe also ask how long she's been feeling like this (i.e. is it actually a rash decision or more a thought out one)

Yes she says yesterday her uni emailed and told her she needs to go in 3/4 times a week for a few hours.
It's only for practicals, the lectures she said are all held online.
I think it's a rash decision by the sounds of it and she said straight after she read the email she began worrying and having second thoughts about uni.
Original post by Anonymous
Yes she says yesterday her uni emailed and told her she needs to go in 3/4 times a week for a few hours.
It's only for practicals, the lectures she said are all held online.
I think it's a rash decision by the sounds of it and she said straight after she read the email she began worrying and having second thoughts about uni.

Try and have a discussion with her.
Is there anything that could be done to put her mind at ease?
Does she know what precautions the uni will be taking? If she knows they may be stringent with hygiene and mask wearing it may help her. It sounds like perhaps the prospect of going back and mixing with a number of people is scaring her
Reply 8
Original post by AzureCeleste
Try and have a discussion with her.
Is there anything that could be done to put her mind at ease?
Does she know what precautions the uni will be taking? If she knows they may be stringent with hygiene and mask wearing it may help her. It sounds like perhaps the prospect of going back and mixing with a number of people is scaring her

Yes I agree!
She said she spoke to her parents about it but they told her that although it's scary she needs to go back because she can't find herself a job because young people have already lost their jobs!
Reply 9
Sometimes you need to just let people do things.

A decent friend quit my course due to the stress but behind it was their exam grades. all my grades were perfect and I offered to help/nudge/hint so much but past a point i was just making it worse everytime I opened my gob.
Reply 11
The "due to personal reasons" makes me think she has no intent on talking about nor would she appreciate you pushing it. Tell her your there for her and respect her decision, theres really not much more to it.
Original post by LovelyMrFox
The "due to personal reasons" makes me think she has no intent on talking about nor would she appreciate you pushing it. Tell her your there for her and respect her decision, theres really not much more to it.

I asked her and she said part of it involves her fear of catching the virus and unknowingly spreading it to others. She said she had a conversation with her parents and they said to her that it would be better if she continues to attend because what else is she going to do as she cannot find a job especially not now as so many young people have lost their jobs.
Original post by Anonymous
I asked her and she said part of it involves her fear of catching the virus and unknowingly spreading it to others. She said she had a conversation with her parents and they said to her that it would be better if she continues to attend because what else is she going to do as she cannot find a job especially not now as so many young people have lost their jobs.

She has anxiety and worries so I'm thinking she may change her mind when she thinks through it over the next few days

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