Am I being selfish?

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Anonymous #1
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My parents let me go out yesterday to town with my friends after sixth months of staying inside and it felt so nice to go out and breathe the fresh air. They didn't allow me before because I have siblings who are kind of vulnerable but not in the vulnerable category. At this point I'd rather just get covid and heal from it then hide away from it I can't stay locked in my house any longer but my parents don't allow me to go out. I hate it. I'm 19 on a gap year and I don't want to waste it hating myself indoors
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Anonymous #1
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MidgetFever
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If you're referring to purposely exposing yourself to it for the sake of going out, then yes that is selfish.

We're all tired of lockdowns and limitations by now but the more people giving up and flouting the rules, the longer this is going to go on.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents let me go out yesterday to town with my friends after sixth months of staying inside and it felt so nice to go out and breathe the fresh air. They didn't allow me before because I have siblings who are kind of vulnerable but not in the vulnerable category. At this point I'd rather just get covid and heal from it then hide away from it I can't stay locked in my house any longer but my parents don't allow me to go out. I hate it. I'm 19 on a gap year and I don't want to waste it hating myself indoors
I wouldn't normally be this brutally honest, but yes that is a bit selfish.
If you got covid do you have somewhere you can stay to make sure you are nowhere near your family? If you are following guidelines and get ill still then that's fair but if you weren't then you're using medical treatment which isn't unlimited when you didn't have to use it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MidgetFever)
If you're referring to purposely exposing yourself to it for the sake of going out, then yes that is selfish.

We're all tired of lockdowns and limitations by now but the more people giving up and flouting the rules, the longer this is going to go on.
Not purposely exposing myself just going out as I've been stuck inside for 6 months and it's detrimental to my mental health I haven't even be allowed on walks.

(Original post by claireestelle)
I wouldn't normally be this brutally honest, but yes that is a bit selfish.
If you got covid do you have somewhere you can stay to make sure you are nowhere near your family? If you are following guidelines and get ill still then that's fair but if you weren't then you're using medical treatment which isn't unlimited when you didn't have to use it.
Covid isn't going to go anywhere now though, we're stuck with it and being stuck inside for 6 months and only being out once with friends has made me sick of it. I wouldn't have to use medical treatment as I'm not vulnerable to covid. I know its my parents rules but everyone else is just going out freely a couple times a week and I've been out once in six months.
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wastedcuriosity
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So what happens if you get Covid, and bring it home to your vulnerable siblings?
Yes, I think you're being a little selfish. I understand how difficult it is being cooped up inside, but isn't it worth it to protect your family?
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Not purposely exposing myself just going out as I've been stuck inside for 6 months and it's detrimental to my mental health I haven't even be allowed on walks.


Covid isn't going to go anywhere now though, we're stuck with it and being stuck inside for 6 months and only being out once with friends has made me sick of it. I wouldn't have to use medical treatment as I'm not vulnerable to covid. I know its my parents rules but everyone else is just going out freely a couple times a week and I've been out once in six months.
If they aren't allowing you on walks then that is a bit far but it depends on how much you trust your friends to have been following the guidelines correctly or not whether you should be seeing them or not.I meant if you manage to get covid then you being healthy doesn't automatically mean you'd have a quick recovery.

I've not seen friends or family in 6 months so i get that it is challenging (some of them are vulnerable themselves) but i have asthma and i m pregnant so i know it'd be selfish of me to risk me and baby and my loved ones by seeing them as it's not just us, it's all the healthcare staff i've been seeing that I could get ill.
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Scottishlad888
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l can tell you you would not want to have Covid -19 its like you have a death wish and you sound a very bright person dont have thoughts like that and the way your parents are treating you is not right they are treading a very fine line if this is a real story they can be breaking the law its not your problem that your siblings are kind of vulnerable you parents had them not you they cant keep you at home against your will you were born with free will if you wish to go out just go out and if you need to wear a mask wear a mask l would say your parents are far to controlling they cant stop you from seeing your friends friends you are 19 and a young woman making your way in the world never let anyone try and control you just be yourself
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
l can tell you you would not want to have Covid -19 its like you have a death wish and you sound a very bright person dont have thoughts like that and the way your parents are treating you is not right they are treading a very fine line if this is a real story they can be breaking the law its not your problem that your siblings are kind of vulnerable you parents had them not you they cant keep you at home against your will you were born with free will if you wish to go out just go out and if you need to wear a mask wear a mask l would say your parents are far to controlling they cant stop you from seeing your friends friends you are 19 and a young woman making your way in the world never let anyone try and control you just be yourself
I agree but it's their house and they don't want me to bring anything back to it. If I want it my way then I would have to move out which I don't have the financial means for.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by claireestelle)
If they aren't allowing you on walks then that is a bit far but it depends on how much you trust your friends to have been following the guidelines correctly or not whether you should be seeing them or not.I meant if you manage to get covid then you being healthy doesn't automatically mean you'd have a quick recovery.

I've not seen friends or family in 6 months so i get that it is challenging (some of them are vulnerable themselves) but i have asthma and i m pregnant so i know it'd be selfish of me to risk me and baby and my loved ones by seeing them as it's not just us, it's all the healthcare staff i've been seeing that I could get ill.
They do allow me to collect my siblings from school and go on a small walk around my neighbourhood but not on long walks like I want to do. My point being if my siblings who are the vulnerable ones are going to school therefore exposing themselves to covid why should I stay inside to protect them. It just seems like I'm the only being punished and being made to stay inside while my parents go to work sometimes and my siblings go to school and work as well.
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londonmyst
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No, wanting to go outside for brief walks is fine.
But I think that you are being nonchalant and far too casual about the practical consequences of becoming infected with covid19.
For yourself and other members of your household who you are most likely to infect without even realising.

I live alone, am still working, don't wear facial coverings and am visiting friends/their families & a few other people every day.
But I am steering clear of public transport, leisure centres and gyms.
Avoiding all venues with large crowds and not visiting areas during the daytime where I know large numbers of people are deliberately initiating physical contact with strangers or breaching socially distancing guidelines as a matter of habit.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
They do allow me to collect my siblings from school and go on a small walk around my neighbourhood but not on long walks like I want to do. My point being if my siblings who are the vulnerable ones are going to school therefore exposing themselves to covid why should I stay inside to protect them. It just seems like I'm the only being punished and being made to stay inside while my parents go to work sometimes and my siblings go to school and work as well.
Your parents would get fined if they weren't sent to school. You have the choice to find work and move out.
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Scottishlad888
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I agree but it's their house and they don't want me to bring anything back to it. If I want it my way then I would have to move out which I don't have the financial means for.
l understand what you are saying but they should let you go out a bit more with your friends cant you and your family not go out for walks to the park each day
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Dee-Emma
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents let me go out yesterday to town with my friends after sixth months of staying inside and it felt so nice to go out and breathe the fresh air. They didn't allow me before because I have siblings who are kind of vulnerable but not in the vulnerable category. At this point I'd rather just get covid and heal from it then hide away from it I can't stay locked in my house any longer but my parents don't allow me to go out. I hate it. I'm 19 on a gap year and I don't want to waste it hating myself indoors
So have you just finished a gap year... In which case you're off to uni now anyhow. Or you've just started a gap year and you've got some plans as to what you're going to do (although Covid might have limited that). You could still cancel the gap and do a late uni application and be off to halls in a short time...
But seriously, your parents may be overcautios, but you need to respect their boundaries and their anxieties about your siblings. Are there no other friends or relatives you could stay with?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by claireestelle)
Your parents would get fined if they weren't sent to school. You have the choice to find work and move out.
But if they were so worried about covid a fine wouldn't sway their decision and they could pay for homeschooling. We're working class but putting a fine over their health and then keeping me inside isn't very nice.

(Original post by Scottishlad888)
l understand what you are saying but they should let you go out a bit more with your friends cant you and your family not go out for walks to the park each day
I go on short walks occasionally.

(Original post by Dee-Emma)
So have you just finished a gap year... In which case you're off to uni now anyhow. Or you've just started a gap year and you've got some plans as to what you're going to do (although Covid might have limited that). You could still cancel the gap and do a late uni application and be off to halls in a short time...
But seriously, your parents may be overcautios, but you need to respect their boundaries and their anxieties about your siblings. Are there no other friends or relatives you could stay with?
I can't move out to halls anyway.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)

I live alone, am still working, don't wear facial coverings and am visiting friends/their families & a few other people every day.
But I am steering clear of public transport, leisure centres and gyms.
Avoiding all venues with large crowds and not visiting areas during the daytime where I know large numbers of people are deliberately initiating physical contact with strangers or breaching socially distancing guidelines as a matter of habit.
That's all I want. To visit friends and family.
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Scottishlad888
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But if they were so worried about covid a fine wouldn't sway their decision and they could pay for homeschooling. We're working class but putting a fine over their health and then keeping me inside isn't very nice.


I go on short walks occasionally.


I can't move out to halls anyway.
Thats good
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bones-mccoy
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If there was a way of you healing from Covid outside of the family home then I guess there wouldn't be so much of a problem, but your siblings vulnerability means you shouldn't be putting yourself, or them, at risk. A lot of people are struggling at the moment but we've just got to keep going.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 1 month ago
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LovelyMrFox
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You're allowed to go out for walks, just stay away from people.
The way you worded it sounds quite selfish.
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Dee-Emma
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But if they were so worried about covid a fine wouldn't sway their decision and they could pay for homeschooling. We're working class but putting a fine over their health and then keeping me inside isn't very nice.


I go on short walks occasionally.


I can't move out to halls anyway.
Depends on the uni. I'm due to move to halls early October. Ymmv
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