Weird flatmates, or is it just me?

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Anonymous #1
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#1
Moved into halls just over 2 weeks ago and my flatmates are weird. No one speaks to each other (3 other girls). I try to start a conversation and it ends up being really awkward. I don't even know their names and they dont know mine. I'm in 3rd year and i assume they are 2nd/1st years.

The amount of work i have this year is insane and it would be nice if i had flatmates who were chill. Worse thing is i can hear other flats (there's 5 flats on our floor) having fun and then there's our flat which is about as active as a rock

Im fine with not communicating, im someone who enjoys my own company anyway but it seems really weird and i feel uncomfortable at times in our kitchen

Any Advice? I guess theres nothing i can do but its quite isolating at times!
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wastedcuriosity
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I don't think they're weird, they just sound shy and/or introverted
Why don't you suggest going to get drinks together, or going to lunch with each other?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by wastedcuriosity)
I don't think they're weird, they just sound shy and/or introverted
Why don't you suggest going to get drinks together, or going to lunch with each other?
I would but i never see them. On the rare occasion ill see someone in the kitchen or in our living room and they dont even look up and smile or something. Its like they arent interested at all in even having a basic convo. One girl (which ive never spoken to up til yeserday) saw me cleaning our bins out (which btw, they were throwing their trash into bins without liners) and all she said was 'the main bins are downstairs, you can throw our rubbish out'. Like excuse me you dont even know my name sis
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AI03
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Maybe it'll get better over time and you need to let everyone settle in but for now just keep trying

(Original post by Anonymous)
Moved into halls just over 2 weeks ago and my flatmates are weird. No one speaks to each other (3 other girls). I try to start a conversation and it ends up being really awkward. I don't even know their names and they dont know mine. I'm in 3rd year and i assume they are 2nd/1st years.

The amount of work i have this year is insane and it would be nice if i had flatmates who were chill. Worse thing is i can hear other flats (there's 5 flats on our floor) having fun and then there's our flat which is about as active as a rock

Im fine with not communicating, im someone who enjoys my own company anyway but it seems really weird and i feel uncomfortable at times in our kitchen

Any Advice? I guess theres nothing i can do but its quite isolating at times!
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Bagarigak
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Yeah, definitely weird.

I get that they may be shy but to not interact with you in any way whatsoever is plain rude.

After all, you are flatmates so there should at least some little talk between yourselves.

They don't even greet you, right? I would say they don't have manners
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Moved into halls just over 2 weeks ago and my flatmates are weird. No one speaks to each other (3 other girls). I try to start a conversation and it ends up being really awkward. I don't even know their names and they dont know mine. I'm in 3rd year and i assume they are 2nd/1st years.

The amount of work i have this year is insane and it would be nice if i had flatmates who were chill. Worse thing is i can hear other flats (there's 5 flats on our floor) having fun and then there's our flat which is about as active as a rock

Im fine with not communicating, im someone who enjoys my own company anyway but it seems really weird and i feel uncomfortable at times in our kitchen

Any Advice? I guess theres nothing i can do but its quite isolating at times!
It sounds like you have a great situation to be honest, a nice quiet flat where you can do your own thing, but flats nearby with people you can have fun with.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Nobodyy)
Yeah, definitely weird.

I get that they may be shy but to not interact with you in any way whatsoever is plain rude.

After all, you are flatmates so there should at least some little talk between yourselves.

They don't even greet you, right? I would say they don't have manners
Thats what i thought, its disrespectful. I mean, i dont necessarily enjoy meeting people for the first time but its polite to have at least basic conversations. They dont greet me unless i say 'hi' first
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thats what i thought, its disrespectful. I mean, i dont necessarily enjoy meeting people for the first time but its polite to have at least basic conversations. They dont greet me unless i say 'hi' first
I think I'd draw up a chores rota for emptying bins etc - that'll make them talk!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It sounds like you have a great situation to be honest, a nice quiet flat where you can do your own thing, but flats nearby with people you can have fun with.
I agree with you, its great having a quiet flat. But at least the basic small talk between us would be polite. They all seem overly anti social. I seriously thought it was me who was the problem, not anymore
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Muttley79)
I think I'd draw up a chores rota for emptying bins etc - that'll make them talk!
As in writing a schedule for cleaning up? I can stick it on our noticeboard and see if anyone says anything. Thanks for that
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wastedcuriosity
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would but i never see them. On the rare occasion ill see someone in the kitchen or in our living room and they dont even look up and smile or something. Its like they arent interested at all in even having a basic convo. One girl (which ive never spoken to up til yeserday) saw me cleaning our bins out (which btw, they were throwing their trash into bins without liners) and all she said was 'the main bins are downstairs, you can throw our rubbish out'. Like excuse me you dont even know my name sis
Ah yeah okay, that's not alright, they sound really rude!
Maybe you could introduce yourself to your neighbors?
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Bagarigak
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thats what i thought, its disrespectful. I mean, i dont necessarily enjoy meeting people for the first time but its polite to have at least basic conversations. They dont greet me unless i say 'hi' first
They are quite immature for their age.

There is no excuse for their mannerisms towards you. Some people may blame it on their "personality", but I think that is utter rubbish.

Try and see if you could go out sometime with your friends when you are taking a break from your studies. That might help.
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UELStudentRep
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Hi!
They are probably just shy or quiet people...maybe try and do something together, plan a lunch or dinner, just something that maybe will get them to talk more, that's what I did with my flatmates and it helped, but keep in mind that they might say no and that's fine too, not everyone is or likes to be social. 😊
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Anonymous)
As in writing a schedule for cleaning up? I can stick it on our noticeboard and see if anyone says anything. Thanks for that
Yes

Maybe call a flat meeting to discuss it - no attendance means they accept the rota.
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Joleee
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it’s actually not that uncommon, i’ve had more than one flatmate where i didn’t know their name :lol:. then once you’ve lived with them more than a month you can’t ask cuz you should know it already. lol imho you just need to ask and do it next time you see them cuz the longer you wait the harder it gets.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Nobodyy)
They are quite immature for their age.

There is no excuse for their mannerisms towards you. Some people may blame it on their "personality", but I think that is utter rubbish.

Try and see if you could go out sometime with your friends when you are taking a break from your studies. That might help.
Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. Im considering making a running route and doing a 5k everyday. Hopefully that should be a nice break between studying. Thank you so much
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by wastedcuriosity)
Ah yeah okay, that's not alright, they sound really rude!
Maybe you could introduce yourself to your neighbors?
Good idea, thank you for your advice!! i will try and go to the common room too
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Bagarigak
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. Im considering making a running route and doing a 5k everyday. Hopefully that should be a nice break between studying. Thank you so much
No worries at all
Remember, you've done your part and have tried to get to know them. Since they aren't interested, just move on from that and do your own thing.

At the end of the day. they are the ones losing out and not you because I imagine you are an amazing flatmate.
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Moved into halls just over 2 weeks ago and my flatmates are weird. No one speaks to each other (3 other girls). I try to start a conversation and it ends up being really awkward. I don't even know their names and they dont know mine. I'm in 3rd year and i assume they are 2nd/1st years.

The amount of work i have this year is insane and it would be nice if i had flatmates who were chill. Worse thing is i can hear other flats (there's 5 flats on our floor) having fun and then there's our flat which is about as active as a rock

Im fine with not communicating, im someone who enjoys my own company anyway but it seems really weird and i feel uncomfortable at times in our kitchen

Any Advice? I guess theres nothing i can do but its quite isolating at times!
I would definitely try and speak to the louder flats around you, can you not befriend any of the girls or are they all shy? People adjust to change in very different ways and it may just take longer for them to feel relaxed. Try and make a point of being in the kitchen or saying you're going somewhere and ask them to join. Some people just need more encouragement than others

Sophie - Official Student Rep
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would but i never see them. On the rare occasion ill see someone in the kitchen or in our living room and they dont even look up and smile or something. Its like they arent interested at all in even having a basic convo. One girl (which ive never spoken to up til yeserday) saw me cleaning our bins out (which btw, they were throwing their trash into bins without liners) and all she said was 'the main bins are downstairs, you can throw our rubbish out'. Like excuse me you dont even know my name sis
Your flatmates seem like freaks and very rude too.

If I were you I'd make the living room and kitchen yours too. Take your time cooking and eating there, blast loud music if you enjoy listening to music whilst cooking. Invite some friends over and chill in your living room whenever you want
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