Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
A friend of mine is LGBT and I said to her over text that if my family knew i spoke to her they wouldn't be very happy because they have this view that you can easily be 'influenced' and that I'd turn out LGBT too. But if they saw her in person, they wouldn't say anything to her.
But I am over 18, so surely I can talk to whoever i want!

Thats what I said to her- and weirdly since then she hasn't messaged, so im really worried that i may have upset her hence she has not spoken to me since?
But I still want to talk to her- regardless of whether people know i talk to her or not! She's my friend!!!

Do you think that that's why she hasn't spoken to me in a while? Maybe she is upset/angry?
Or could it be that she's simply just busy at the moment?

What can i say to make her feel better (if she is upset)?
I want to say to her that I still want her as a friend! And not let this ruin out friendship

I am so worried!!!
0
reply
MikeOksmall
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Why would you tell your family she’s LGBT is you knew how they’d react - she would most likely be upset by the message you sent as it implies you don’t want to be her friend as you could get ‘influenced’ by her.
4
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by MikeOksmall)
Why would you tell your family she’s LGBT is you knew how they’d react - she would most likely be upset by the message you sent as it implies you don’t want to be her friend as you could get ‘influenced’ by her.
NO!!! I didn't know how they'd react!!! This is before I knew about their views towards being LGBT!!
My friend is LGBT (im gay in the closet) but back then I was in the closet i tried to hint at my parents that i may be gay too....
That's when they said to me that they hope I'm not as close to her. Due to being 'influenced' because my family are in denial of my sexuality and if they know I was still talking to her they may think im being 'influenced'.

I didn't know how they would react. I told them in the past that I had an LGBT friend to test the waters and see how they would react to me being friends with her. Back then they didn't say much to it but once I told them that i think im gay that's when they told me that they hope im not still talking to her..

If i hadn't told them about my feelings they wouldn't have cared me being friends with her its just that fear they now have of her 'influencing' me.

I did make it clear with my friend that reagrdless of what they think i still want to talk to her like usual and that if my parents ever met her they wouldn't say anything to her as long as I don't mention again about being gay myself.

I did make that clear with my friend that im still wanting to talk to her
I really hope she is not angry/upset with me
0
reply
Gundabad(good)
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
A friend of mine is LGBT and I said to her over text that if my family knew i spoke to her they wouldn't be very happy because they have this view that you can easily be 'influenced' and that I'd turn out LGBT too. But if they saw her in person, they wouldn't say anything to her.
But I am over 18, so surely I can talk to whoever i want!

Thats what I said to her- and weirdly since then she hasn't messaged, so im really worried that i may have upset her hence she has not spoken to me since?
But I still want to talk to her- regardless of whether people know i talk to her or not! She's my friend!!!

Do you think that that's why she hasn't spoken to me in a while? Maybe she is upset/angry?
Or could it be that she's simply just busy at the moment?

What can i say to make her feel better (if she is upset)?
I want to say to her that I still want her as a friend! And not let this ruin out friendship

I am so worried!!!
Probably just busy. She must understand that there are some people in this world who just don't like gay people, and that includes your parents.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Gundabad(good))
Probably just busy. She must understand that there are some people in this world who just don't like gay people, and that includes your parents.
Thank you for putting me at ease. I hope you're right!!
And honestly if I hadn't tried to tell my parents that im gay too, they wouldn't have cared whether im friends with LGBT people or not.
But due to me trying to tell them that I'm gay (and them not listening) they just don't want me to be 'influenced' by having an LGBT friend.

If they met anyone who is gay, they wouldn't say anything to them, they'd speak to them normally they just do not want someone in the family to be gay.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#6
Blueclueless
0
reply
LovelyMrFox
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
I dont see why she would be upset with you over that. How long has it been since you sent it?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
I dont see why she would be upset with you over that. How long has it been since you sent it?
Its been over a week! Thats why I'm a little worried!

Should i text her apologising if ive offended in her in anyway?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#9
londonmyst
0
reply
Blueclueless
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Blueclueless
She’s probably upset over the reactions and maybe a little mad? Personally if a friend with parents like that outed me to them while knowing their reactions I’d be a bit pissed.

However like you said. You guys are friends, best thing to do is apologise and reassure them these you’re going to always be there for them
0
reply
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
It is difficult to know whether she is very busy, unwell or upset at the fact that your parents would try to stop you from being friends.
There's no reason for you to apologise for your parents opinions or their choices.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by Blueclueless)
She’s probably upset over the reactions and maybe a little mad? Personally if a friend with parents like that outed me to them while knowing their reactions I’d be a bit pissed.

However like you said. You guys are friends, best thing to do is apologise and reassure them these you’re going to always be there for them
Thank you! And i really didn't know my parents would have anything against me being friends with her... it was only when I tried to come out to them that they said to me thay they hope im not being 'influenced' by a (gay) friend.

If i knew they wouldn't be happy with me being friends with an LGBT person- I wouldn't have told them she's lgbt!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#13
(Original post by londonmyst)
It is difficult to know whether she is very busy, unwell or upset at the fact that your parents would try to stop you from being friends.
There's no reason for you to apologise for your parents opinions or their choices.
Thank you - im hoping she's just busy!
0
reply
Blueclueless
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! And i really didn't know my parents would have anything against me being friends with her... it was only when I tried to come out to them that they said to me thay they hope im not being 'influenced' by a (gay) friend.

If i knew they wouldn't be happy with me being friends with an LGBT person- I wouldn't have told them she's lgbt!
That’s fair enough then, your parents sound like they have some internal homophobia to work out which isn’t your burden, definitely apologise to you friend and reassure them
0
reply
MidgetFever
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#15
Report 1 month ago
#15
Just playing devil's advocate here, but there is a chance that she could possibly be upset by it.

Sure, you're not responsible for your parent's attitudes but if you planned on continuing to talk to her regardless and you believe your parents wouldn't say anything to her unless she knew, then the comment really was completely unnecessary and could be perceived as hurtful - Not because of your attitude, but your parents.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Current uni students - are you thinking of dropping out of university?

Yes, I'm seriously considering dropping out (102)
13.37%
I'm not sure (32)
4.19%
No, I'm going to stick it out for now (237)
31.06%
I have already dropped out (18)
2.36%
I'm not a current university student (374)
49.02%

Watched Threads

View All