Dunya
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Please only reply if you are above 19.

Some background info: The ground floor of the office I work at has a glass wall exterior, the public are able to look into our office but usually that isn't much of an issue.

For the past few weeks, on the same days and at the same time there has been a strange individual who often stops by and stares for a couple minutes. That's what it started off as so I didn't take much notice, weeks have passed and it's transgressed into signalling, signing the call me sign with his hands and taking pictures. It’s continued for a while and has become extremely discomforting knowing there is someone even there let alone staring at you. Despite ignoring him and trying my best to hide away in the back of the office for whenever he arrived, last week he ended up leaving his unwanted details for me on a piece of paper.

I was just going to throw the paper away but a coworker picked it up and told me to report it to the police. I didn’t bother on the day because I was just was too tired after a long shift. A friend of mine did actually end up texting the number and it’s disgusting how the weirdo thinks he’s done nothing wrong and continues to ask for my details to get in touch. He denied taking any pictures but I’m sure that’s far from the truth. I’ve been taking the longer route home and main roads just in case because of this.

The reason why I’m making this thread is because I don’t have the time to be getting the police involved and would prefer for my parents not to find out as they’d probably want me to quit, I was wondering if there are any alternative effective routes I can go about in order to get the creep to stop?

Edit: Screenshot links
Last edited by Dunya; 1 month ago
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Dunya)
Please only reply if you are above 19.

Some background info: The ground floor of the office I work at has a glass wall exterior, the public are able to look into our office but usually that isn't much of an issue.

For the past few weeks, on the same days and at the same time there has been a strange individual who often stops by and stares for a couple minutes. That's what it started off as so I didn't take much notice, weeks have passed and it's transgressed into signalling, signing the call me sign with his hands and taking pictures. It’s continued for a while and has become extremely discomforting knowing there is someone even there let alone staring at you. Despite ignoring him and trying my best to hide away in the back of the office for whenever he arrived, last week he ended up leaving his unwanted details for me on a piece of paper.

I was just going to throw the paper away but a coworker picked it up and told me to report it to the police. I didn’t bother on the day because I was just was too tired after a long shift. A friend of mine did actually end up texting the number and it’s disgusting how the weirdo thinks he’s done nothing wrong and continues to ask for my details to get in touch. He denied taking any pictures but I’m sure that’s far from the truth. I’ve been taking the longer route home and main roads just in case because of this.

The reason why I’m making this thread is because I don’t have the time to be getting the police involved and would prefer for my parents not to find out as they’d probably want me to quit, I was wondering if there are any alternative effective routes I can go about in order to get the creep to stop?

Edit: Screenshot links
You need to get the police involved. You say you don't have the time, however this could very easily escalate into a situation where you are in danger and I'm sure you'd appreciate having the police involved if that happens (hopefully it doesn't). It's good that your colleagues are aware, but please tell lots of people, especially the police so that everyone knows that something creepy is going on just in case. It could just be someone who has a thing for you and doesn't have the guts to just ask you out or something, or it could be something a bit more sinister. I don't think you should take any chances. Document every single thing he does and every single time you see him. Keep a record of this, dates, times, actions he takes. Keep all of the pieces of paper etc he gives you as well. The police likely won't do anything except file a report, but at least you have the report there to add to. I would also see if there is any CCTV of him in/around the building, ask if that footage can be kept (as most footage is deleted after 30 days or so) just in case.
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Sammylou40
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If your coworker has told this man that his attention is unwanted and he’s ignored it then I’d report it.
Is there someone who would go out and tell him point blank no? A male colleague maybe?
If he can’t take no for an answer then you should protect yourself
Is it possible to move so he can’t see you?
Try not to leave your workplace alone until it’s stopped
At first glance it appears harmless but you should take it seriously
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ROTL94
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Call the police.
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Nikitka
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Perhaps it is better to inform the police. Also even if you don’t want to tell parents, you still need to tell someone. So people close to you would know and be able to support you or to act accordingly, this is a serious situation and in case of something it’s good to have people who’d know.

And id advice to be generally more careful about what you and where you go (especially look behind you more often and don’t walk alone an night, this kind of things).
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Megxn0
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Stuff like this escalates quickly, you should tell your parents and report it. Even if it means you have to quit, it’s better to put your safety first
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Morebalanation
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Legally, any person, creep or not, can take pictures in public or from a public stance. However, if you see him anywhere near your house or on your route home you could report it and file for a restraining order. Anyhow, he could just suffer from issues and does not understand how no means no.
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Morebalanation
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(Original post by Megxn0)
Stuff like this escalates quickly, you should tell your parents and report it. Even if it means you have to quit, it’s better to put your safety first
Why would you want to quit your job over that😂
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Kerzen
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Have you spoken to your HR department about this? If this is happening at work, they are the first people to approach. They can then judge whether the Police need to be involved.

By the way, I don't think that it was wise for your friend to text the man's number.
Last edited by Kerzen; 1 month ago
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nickjordy
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hello im new here i need help
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Always_Confused
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Your workplace also has a duty of care to you. If you don't want to escalate to informing the police, do contact your HR department. Inform them that where you are placed has left you vulnerable to harrassment and unwanted attention from this man. They should move you to another place or put something in place to put you at ease.
If you are worried this man may physically harm you, inform the police you are worried for your safety. Should something happen, they'll know where to look first.
Talk to a trusted coworker and maybe start travelling to and from work with someone, so you never enter or leave the building alone.
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leopard202
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Your parents can’t make you quit, I don’t see why they’d have to find out either, let the police know you’d prefer to deal with this between you and your workplace.

Unless you live with your parents and this stalker is getting closer to finding out where you live. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s obvious and your colleagues know. He might be delusional 🙅🏻*♀️
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Dunya
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
You need to get the police involved. You say you don't have the time, however this could very easily escalate into a situation where you are in danger and I'm sure you'd appreciate having the police involved if that happens (hopefully it doesn't). It's good that your colleagues are aware, but please tell lots of people, especially the police so that everyone knows that something creepy is going on just in case. It could just be someone who has a thing for you and doesn't have the guts to just ask you out or something, or it could be something a bit more sinister. I don't think you should take any chances. Document every single thing he does and every single time you see him. Keep a record of this, dates, times, actions he takes. Keep all of the pieces of paper etc he gives you as well. The police likely won't do anything except file a report, but at least you have the report there to add to. I would also see if there is any CCTV of him in/around the building, ask if that footage can be kept (as most footage is deleted after 30 days or so) just in case.
I really want to avoid involving the police. There's not much they can do with just a number and it seems burdensome with the little evidence I can give them.

I have no idea who the male is, I can barely look at him without puking at this point.

Thanks for the advice, I'll try to collect anything I can.
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Kerzen
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Are you going to speak to HR tomorrow? You should.
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Dunya
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
If your coworker has told this man that his attention is unwanted and he’s ignored it then I’d report it.
Is there someone who would go out and tell him point blank no? A male colleague maybe?
If he can’t take no for an answer then you should protect yourself
Is it possible to move so he can’t see you?
Try not to leave your workplace alone until it’s stopped
At first glance it appears harmless but you should take it seriously
No she went to take the paper he left but didn't speak to him. I'm sure if any of us got the chance to speak to him he'd get an earful.

We aren't allowed to leave the office during our shift time so it's unlikely anyone can speak to him.

Nope, my zone is right infront of the glass edge, even if I move i'm still more or less visible to the public.

Ah it's difficult not to leave work alone, I live close to work but main roads are always an option.
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Dunya
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(Original post by Nikitka)
Perhaps it is better to inform the police. Also even if you don’t want to tell parents, you still need to tell someone. So people close to you would know and be able to support you or to act accordingly, this is a serious situation and in case of something it’s good to have people who’d know.

And id advice to be generally more careful about what you and where you go (especially look behind you more often and don’t walk alone an night, this kind of things).
I'm a lot more cautious walking home alone, I'm always looking back and careful about my surroundings. Though I'm pretty annoyed I'm having to walk a lot more than usual just to get home after a long shift.
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FRS500
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I appreciate that it is not what you want to hear but it is what you need to hear. Call the police.

Your parents will be supportive, as should be your employer and the police, so quite frankly quitting would not/should not be on the agenda.

More worrying is that the guy absolutely doesn't see what he is doing as wrong, this is the kind of behaviour that can only be corrected with police intervention tbh.
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Dunya
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(Original post by Kerzen)
Have you spoken to your HR department about this? If this is happening at work, they are the first people to approach. They can then judge whether the Police need to be involved.

By the way, I don't think that it was wise for your friend to text the man's number.
I haven't. I was only able to tell one of my managers but she's been on holiday since I told her about it.

I didn't ask him to but as I was telling him about the incident he ended up messaging him. He's a little older and I guess just wanted to have a word with him.
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Dunya
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(Original post by Always_Confused)
Your workplace also has a duty of care to you. If you don't want to escalate to informing the police, do contact your HR department. Inform them that where you are placed has left you vulnerable to harrassment and unwanted attention from this man. They should move you to another place or put something in place to put you at ease.
If you are worried this man may physically harm you, inform the police you are worried for your safety. Should something happen, they'll know where to look first.
Talk to a trusted coworker and maybe start travelling to and from work with someone, so you never enter or leave the building alone.
Yeah I think I should contact HR soon, it really is eating me inside that when the clock hits a certain hour a guy is just out there waiting.

Thanks for the advice.
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Dunya
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(Original post by leopard202)
Your parents can’t make you quit, I don’t see why they’d have to find out either, let the police know you’d prefer to deal with this between you and your workplace.

Unless you live with your parents and this stalker is getting closer to finding out where you live. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s obvious and your colleagues know. He might be delusional 🙅🏻*♀️
I'm 19, still living with my parents which is quite the norm for my family. My parents would make me quit, in one go. 100% he is delusional, when my friend messaged him he told the guy he was my older brother but he still had the nerve to ask for my name and number.
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