Boyfriends younger brother?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I'm posting this as this is the fifth time he has said or done something which is a bit off in my opinion.

Yesterday I went over to my boyfriend's family home (they are renting for a month here before going back to 🇩🇰) and my boyfriend's mom and his younger brother were there. As my bf goes to the gym in the evening, I was left alone in the house with him. His mum went to get some immediate groceries as we decided to cook some Thai foods for dinner.

This time I was randomly asking him about his life etc and the topic came up of his relationships, type of girls he prefers etc. Shortly after the discussion began, he spoke of how he would like his future gf/wife to be like me. Initially I laughed but then he elaborated it saying what his brother got is what he wanted as well. He stopped at that point and said he's going out as its too hot inside.

He has done a few things before such when I met him for the first time, he reacted in the exact same way like my bf did (intense staring) and when we shook hands, he kept looking. He is a great sketch artist and he drew a picture of his ideal girl who looked exactly like me. This irked my bf so much that he asked me to dump it in the trash as the girl in the sketch looked like me.

I dont know if I'm overthinking this but what do you think?

My boyfriend is 25 and he is 23. I'm 29 btw
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deadroseex
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm posting this as this is the fifth time he has said or done something which is a bit off in my opinion.

Yesterday I went over to my boyfriend's family home (they are renting for a month here before going back to 🇩🇰) and my boyfriend's mom and his younger brother were there. As my bf goes to the gym in the evening, I was left alone in the house with him. His mum went to get some immediate groceries as we decided to cook some Thai foods for dinner.

This time I was randomly asking him about his life etc and the topic came up of his relationships, type of girls he prefers etc. Shortly after the discussion began, he spoke of how he would like his future gf/wife to be like me. Initially I laughed but then he elaborated it saying what his brother got is what he wanted as well. He stopped at that point and said he's going out as its too hot inside.

He has done a few things before such when I met him for the first time, he reacted in the exact same way like my bf did (intense staring) and when we shook hands, he kept looking. He is a great sketch artist and he drew a picture of his ideal girl who looked exactly like me. This irked my bf so much that he asked me to dump it in the trash as the girl in the sketch looked like me.

I dont know if I'm overthinking this but what do you think?

My boyfriend is 25 and he is 23. I'm 29 btw
Tell your boyfriend what has been going on, and exactly what you have said in this post say to your boyfriend. Unless you like his brother.
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KelsieTaylor
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Do you like him back? (I hope not)
If you don't then just tell your boyfriend about it, or ignore it, it's up to you...
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H4ttie03
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Do you like his brother?
If not tell your bf asap
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by H4ttie03)
Do you like his brother?
If not tell your bf asap
No I don't like him .
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by KelsieTaylor)
Do you like him back? (I hope not)
If you don't then just tell your boyfriend about it, or ignore it, it's up to you...
I'm trying to ignore it but now its getting a bit weird
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by deadroseex)
Tell your boyfriend what has been going on, and exactly what you have said in this post say to your boyfriend. Unless you like his brother.
I'm worried it may create a family rift so I have been ignoring it but now its getting a bit weird
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ROTL94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm trying to ignore it but now its getting a bit weird
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm worried it may create a family rift so I have been ignoring it but now its getting a bit weird
Is it possible then, that you could just avoid going round his house when you know the younger brother's going to be there?
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deadroseex
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm worried it may create a family rift so I have been ignoring it but now its getting a bit weird
That is not your problem, if he is doing this to you and you don't like it you should go to your boyfriend because at the end of the day, he will be able to put a stop to it if you get me? Or if not confront his brother yourself and tell him but it would just cause problems so speak to your boyfriend or even his mum if you are close enough with her
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ROTL94)
Is it possible then, that you could just avoid going round his house when you know the younger brother's going to be there?
They live in Denmark so its not a huge problem. Uts an issue when I go to see them or when my bf invites them here.
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Old Skool Freak
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm posting this as this is the fifth time he has said or done something which is a bit off in my opinion.

Yesterday I went over to my boyfriend's family home (they are renting for a month here before going back to 🇩🇰) and my boyfriend's mom and his younger brother were there. As my bf goes to the gym in the evening, I was left alone in the house with him. His mum went to get some immediate groceries as we decided to cook some Thai foods for dinner.

This time I was randomly asking him about his life etc and the topic came up of his relationships, type of girls he prefers etc. Shortly after the discussion began, he spoke of how he would like his future gf/wife to be like me. Initially I laughed but then he elaborated it saying what his brother got is what he wanted as well. He stopped at that point and said he's going out as its too hot inside.

He has done a few things before such when I met him for the first time, he reacted in the exact same way like my bf did (intense staring) and when we shook hands, he kept looking. He is a great sketch artist and he drew a picture of his ideal girl who looked exactly like me. This irked my bf so much that he asked me to dump it in the trash as the girl in the sketch looked like me.

I dont know if I'm overthinking this but what do you think?

My boyfriend is 25 and he is 23. I'm 29 btw
Have you actually explained to him that he's making you uncomfortable? Just sit him down and explain to him that you don't think it's appropriate for him to be making such comments to you. The tone you need to adopt is to be polite, but firm. Firm enough so he knows you're not playing games, but also polite enough so it doesn't escalate or cause further embarrassment.

You need to be quite explicit and clear; no dropping hints or anything.

There's a chance that he may not actually like you like that (Bros before hos and all that), but just showing that he "approves" of you... afterall, most young lads look up to their older brothers.

(Original post by deadroseex)
Tell your boyfriend what has been going on, and exactly what you have said in this post say to your boyfriend. Unless you like his brother.
Whoa slow down there!

There's no mention that he's actually made a pass at her. Jumping to conclusions could cause all sorts of trouble for her, her BF and his brother. Fair enough, he may have a bit of a crush on her (you can't control who you fancy)... unless he actually acts on it, then his brother doesn't need to know. If it is just a crush, eventually it'll pass (either that, or he'll realise the potential damage it could cause and back off).

OP, would you say he's actually "crossed the line" yet?
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deadroseex
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(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
Have you actually explained to him that he's making you uncomfortable? Just sit him down and explain to him that you don't think it's appropriate for him to be making such comments to you. The tone you need to adopt is to be polite, but firm. Firm enough so he knows you're not playing games, but also polite enough so it doesn't escalate or cause further embarrassment.

You need to be quite explicit and clear; no dropping hints or anything.

There's a chance that he may not actually like you like that (Bros before hos and all that), but just showing that he "approves" of you... afterall, most young lads look up to their older brothers.


Whoa slow down there!

There's no mention that he's actually made a pass at her. Jumping to conclusions could cause all sorts of trouble for her, her BF and his brother. Fair enough, he may have a bit of a crush on her (you can't control who you fancy)... unless he actually acts on it, then his brother doesn't need to know. If it is just a crush, eventually it'll pass (either that, or he'll realise the potential damage it could cause and back off).

OP, would you say he's actually "crossed the line" yet?
It doesn't matter you can simply word it in a way where she isn't saying anything like 'Oh your brother likes me'. Instead she can say 'Your brother, said that he wants a girl like me. What do you think he means by that?' or something along the lines of that.
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by deadroseex)
It doesn't matter you can simply word it in a way where she isn't saying anything like 'Oh your brother likes me'. Instead she can say 'Your brother, said that he wants a girl like me. What do you think he means by that?' or something along the lines of that.
I dunno...

I still think she should raise it with him (the brother) privately in the first instance (if she hasn't done so already). If things don't change, then, by all means make her BF aware. Chances are he'll feel guilty that he's made her uncomfortable anyway.

Obviously it depends on the individual(s), but it's the sort of thing that can potentially destroy (or at least taint) a sibling relationship.
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H4ttie03
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No I don't like him .
Tell your bf what's happening then so he can tell your brother to back off
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