Question for indian guys who are in relationship with white women.

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Anonymous #1
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I am recently dating a girl for around 4 month. I really like her and wants to continue the relationship. Yesterday, my girlfriend uploaded a pic of me with her in her Facebook. My parents and brother saw this and called me. They directly didn't told me not to date white women but they started by saying, white women don't respect their own body and sleeps with any guys they like. They are not good to be a wife or fulfill a duty of a wife. They are likely to cheat or breakup with me when they will find someone good looking than me, they don't respect their elders or parents, they won't love me because of the person I am and many other things. I don't know what to do now. So guys have you been in a situation like this? And if did, did you guys managed to convince your parents about this? Or maybe they are just being 'too' worried about me.

About me - Not a good looking guy, so assuming that the girl will dump me if my parents are true. My family is Muslim and they don't care about religion when it comes down to marriage cause my brother married a Canadian Christian and it didn't bothered them.

Remaining anonymous because I used my real name when creating this account.
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loginrunner
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Girls of any race do everything your parents mentioned, you need to ask yourself whether you trust that your gf won't do those things. I assume your family hasn't met her so you know her a lot better than they do.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by loginrunner)
Girls of any race do everything your parents mentioned, you need to ask yourself whether you trust that your gf won't do those things. I assume your family hasn't met her so you know her a lot better than they do.
. She's gorgeous and I am ugly looking short Indian. It kind of started to bother me and me insecure about her when my parents mentioned these things. And she did had two boyfriend before me, and also lost her virginity to one of them. So I don't know whether I should trust my gf or end everything with her and try to find a Muslim gf according to my parents.
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loginrunner
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(Original post by Anonymous)
. She's gorgeous and I am ugly looking short Indian. It kind of started to bother me and me insecure about her when my parents mentioned these things. And she did had two boyfriend before me, and also lost her virginity to one of them. So I don't know whether I should trust my gf or end everything with her and try to find a Muslim gf according to my parents.
You could ask her casually what she likes about you to help reassure you? I doubt she would even consider being in a relationship with you if she finds you even slightly ugly, especially for 4 months, so I think you're selling yourself short.
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Quick-use
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Sounds like your insecurity is the main problem and not your family.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by loginrunner)
You could ask her casually what she likes about you to help reassure you? I doubt she would even consider being in a relationship with you if she finds you even slightly ugly, especially for 4 months, so I think you're selling yourself short.
I am 5'9 and believe its a good height, but short in eyes of a girl, I believe. I did ask her what she loves about me and she replied with intelligence and funny. I carried my relationship believing that until yesterday. Now it feels like she lied and using me for sex or maybe she is just not finding the right guy and I am here to comfort her till she find someone better.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Quick-use)
Sounds like your insecurity is the main problem and not your family.
I am worried that either she will leave me and my parents will be right or It will end up being me marrying her but my family not accepting her. So I don't know which way to go.
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Quick-use
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am worried that either she will leave me and my parents will be right or It will end up being me marrying her but my family not accepting her. So I don't know which way to go.
Again, it boils down to your insecurity. I don't say this lightly - talk to a professional. You need help developing your own self-worth and confidence; otherwise, your insecurities/anxieties will haunt you forever. Consider seeing a counsellor. It really does help.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Quick-use)
Again, it boils down to your insecurity. I don't say this lightly - talk to a professional. You need help developing your own self-worth and confidence; otherwise, your insecurities/anxieties will haunt you forever. Consider seeing a counsellor. It really does help.
Yea, I got slightly insecure, still am, when my parents told me that she will dump me. I never had a girlfriend and actually don't how they work. And will consider seeing a counsellor, but what about my parents ? How do I convince them that she is a good girl ?
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Quick-use
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yea, I got slightly insecure, still am, when my parents told me that she will dump me. I never had a girlfriend and actually don't how they work. And will consider seeing a counsellor, but what about my parents ? How do I convince them that she is a good girl ?
You're facing this problem because you're not convinced yourself and that's why you're struggling to convince your parents. And, the reason you're not convinced about your relationship is because you don't value yourself. Once you deal with the root, your own self-worth, only then will it become easier to carry on with your life.

The thing is - nobody needs convincing of anything. You just need help respecting yourself. If you can learn to do that, everyone else will respect your partner and your relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Quick-use)
You're facing this problem because you're not convinced yourself and that's why you're struggling to convince your parents. And, the reason you're not convinced about your relationship is because you don't value yourself. Once you deal with the root, your own self-worth, only then will it become easier to carry on with your life.

The thing is - nobody needs convincing of anything. You just need help respecting yourself. If you can learn to do that, everyone else will respect your partner and your relationship.
You are maybe right.
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heyitsyaboy1
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first are you dating her because shes your fetish? it blows my mind that most indian guys thinking having a white girlfriend is victory.
second, stop being insecure. she'll be more likely to dump you for a more confident guy if your calling yourself ugly and short.
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Anonymous #2
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personally, I'd say avoid. but don't leave on a bad note. be nice. coming from an Asian. (not that that makes a difference)
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loginrunner
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(Original post by Anonymous)
personally, I'd say avoid. but don't leave on a bad note. be nice. coming from an Asian. (not that that makes a difference)
Leave her just because she's white?? I don't think that's good advice
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by loginrunner)
Leave her just because she's white?? I don't think that's good advice
nope I love people from all backgrounds it's just that there are probably going to be like of troubles with the indian fam and just awkward stares that Asians get in such situations lol. besides she seems to be arguing a lot with you so perhaps she's trying to leave the relationship?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by heyitsyaboy1)
first are you dating her because shes your fetish? it blows my mind that most indian guys thinking having a white girlfriend is victory.
second, stop being insecure. she'll be more likely to dump you for a more confident guy if your calling yourself ugly and short.
Tf?? Why would be a white girl my fetish ? I dont see anything to fetish about white girls. How can someone even have a fetish for skin colour ? Lol .And I am actually not an Indian guy. I am from Bangladesh but its easier when I say india because most if people don't know this tiny country. The cultural differences between these two countries are completely opposites of each other. I am currently in a country where more than 90% of the population is white. It would be harder to find a 'non-white' girl than finding a white to date. And most of my friends and me actually thinks that marrying a girl who is a doctor or in other good profession is victory.

And I am working on that insecurity part.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
personally, I'd say avoid. but don't leave on a bad note. be nice. coming from an Asian. (not that that makes a difference)
Are you suggesting me to avoid my parents or my gf ?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Are you suggesting me to avoid my parents or my gf ?
if I were you, I'd go by what my parents say, after all they often know what's better. but of course it depends on the circumstances, you do what you think is better
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heyitsyaboy1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Tf?? Why would be a white girl my fetish ? I dont see anything to fetish about white girls. How can someone even have a fetish for skin colour ? Lol .And I am actually not an Indian guy. I am from Bangladesh but its easier when I say india because most if people don't know this tiny country. The cultural differences between these two countries are completely opposites of each other. I am currently in a country where more than 90% of the population is white. It would be harder to find a 'non-white' girl than finding a white to date. And most of my friends and me actually thinks that marrying a girl who is a doctor or in other good profession is victory.

And I am working on that insecurity part.
Be proud of ur country. Its like changing ur name so its easier for people
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by Anonymous)
. She's gorgeous and I am ugly looking short Indian. It kind of started to bother me and me insecure about her when my parents mentioned these things. And she did had two boyfriend before me, and also lost her virginity to one of them. So I don't know whether I should trust my gf or end everything with her and try to find a Muslim gf according to my parents.
I'm not Asian, but thought I'd reply anyway...

Dude, you need to address your insecurities... I'm warning you, you're heading right in the direction of fulfilling your own / parents prophecies. If you carry on the way you are, I foresee one of two things happening

1) You end up driving her away because she finds it impossible to cope with your insecurities
2)

Seriously, who cares if she's "Out of your league" or whatever? The fact of the matter is she's chosen to be with YOU when she could've had someone supposedly better looking. Besides, it's not that uncommon for the girl to be somewhat more attractive than the guy (less common the other way round mind). This amazing girl is with you, so she obvisously sees something good in you that she doesn't in other guys.

As for your parents... I find within the Muslim community, there seems to be this myth that all white girls are constantly sh*gging anything with a pulse. Have they met girls who are like this?... or are they basing this on shows like Jersey /Geordie Shore? Look, that's no more true than all Muslims are terrorists. Instead of accepting this, why don't you take this as an opportunity to prove them wrong?
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