How to get over someone who doesn’t like you back?

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Anonymous #1
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I’m sure this has asked a million times but any advice will be greatly appreciated. I just want to get over him but there are so many questions about why he doesn’t like me back...from where I’m sitting we would be compatible and in the most modest way, I wouldn’t say he was necessarily ‘ out of my league’ I would say we were on par. I want to ask him why he doesn’t fancy me back but does that sound pretentious? I’d obviously ask in a nice way but I kinda just want to know so I can move on/ change some stuff about me if he doesn’t like it
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ROTL94
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The reasons why don't matter anywhere near as much as the bottom line. You just accept that it was never going to happen and move on.
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JDINCINERATOR
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m sure this has asked a million times but any advice will be greatly appreciated. I just want to get over him but there are so many questions about why he doesn’t like me back...from where I’m sitting we would be compatible and in the most modest way, I wouldn’t say he was necessarily ‘ out of my league’ I would say we were on par. I want to ask him why he doesn’t fancy me back but does that sound pretentious? I’d obviously ask in a nice way but I kinda just want to know so I can move on/ change some stuff about me if he doesn’t like it
Humans act in different and unpredictable ways. Maybe you will never find out why he doesn't like you-but please whatever you do don't change yourself for anybody. You are great just the way you are and there is no reason to change just to please someone else's preferences- those preferences you may not even know. Move on and find better compatibility with someone else it is possible if you keep your mind on what's happening in the present.
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Quick-use
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Distance yourself. After that, you just need time. It'll pass but it'll take time.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by JDINCINERATOR)
Humans act in different and unpredictable ways. Maybe you will never find out why he doesn't like you-but please whatever you do don't change yourself for anybody. You are great just the way you are and there is no reason to change just to please someone else's preferences- those preferences you may not even know. Move on and find better compatibility with someone else it is possible if you keep your mind on what's happening in the present.
Thank you so much can I ask whether it’s normal for unrequited ‘ fancy’? I just feel like this sort of thing would only ever happen to me probably because of my low self esteem but is it normal for people to like someone and the person not liking them back?
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Julesandjasmine
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Trust me you are not the only person in the world that has been in this position. Don't take it personally just get on with your life and concentrate on something else
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JDINCINERATOR
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much can I ask whether it’s normal for unrequited ‘ fancy’? I just feel like this sort of thing would only ever happen to me probably because of my low self esteem but is it normal for people to like someone and the person not liking them back?
Unrequited fancy is a commonality because as far as I can tell one person feels a way about another person that isn't mutual. I think it's all brain chemistry and that reveals why you may not get the desired reaction-because the other person's concerns are just different to yours. Personally I wouldn't waste my time trying to please somebody who isn't pleased by you-it has NOTHING to do with what you've done wrong, it's just he may not feel the same way you do. Focus on the people you connect with and leave behind people who don't connect. Young people have a hard time trying to distinguish what's right for them and when it comes to infatuation it can get quite upsetting-just go with the flow and try not to get personally attached to people who don't have a mutual bond with you-just move to someone who you get along brilliantly with.
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JaseyB
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m sure this has asked a million times but any advice will be greatly appreciated. I just want to get over him but there are so many questions about why he doesn’t like me back...from where I’m sitting we would be compatible and in the most modest way, I wouldn’t say he was necessarily ‘ out of my league’ I would say we were on par. I want to ask him why he doesn’t fancy me back but does that sound pretentious? I’d obviously ask in a nice way but I kinda just want to know so I can move on/ change some stuff about me if he doesn’t like it
You might think that you are compatible but how well do you really know him, (I am guessing not all that well if you can't ask him why he doesn't like you back). That in itself should be telling you that he doesn't view you as a compatible match for him. Either ask him and find out or do yourself and the guy a huge favour, accept it's never going to happen and move on, leave him alone.
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Zarek
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The reasons for attraction and wanting to date or not are varied and intangible. Maybe there’s someone else he’s after, maybe he’s not up for dating, maybe there’s an aspect of your looks or personality that he doesn’t perceive as his type. While it seems like it would be quite useful to get feedback on rejection I don’t think it’s very practical. It puts someone on the spot unfairly, they may not be able or want to express it and it could be unproductively hurtful. The best bet is just to roll with the setbacks which are inevitable in dating. Thankfully there is not just one great guy or girl, there are many.
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