Guy started crying when I cancelled our first date...

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
This is crazy, but here goes...

I 'met' this guy on an internet dating site, and we have been chatting for a few weeks. It was all good, but I went to work and had to put my phone away. He accused me of gaslighting (wtf)even tho I was working. I decided it was too needy, and wayyyy too soon to be reacting like that, so I told him I just wanted to be friends. I made up some stuff about having too much on atm, because I don't wanna hurt his feelings, and i admitted that he was really stressing me out. He proceeded to send me tonnes of voicenotes where he's crying, and saying he can't be friends, cos he'll always wants more, but then he's begging me to stay in contact. He says he really cares for me, but we HAVE NOT met face to face. it's all too much, isn't it? The stupid thing is, I feel very guilty about it all. I feel like I'm being emotionally manipulated. I don't wanna be nasty to him, but it's mental. How can I tell him to back off without being horrible?
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Anonymous #2
#2
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#2
If it were me I’d block him on everything and never speak to him again.
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Napp
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#3
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Block his ass, he sounds unhinged.
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deadroseex
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This is crazy, but here goes...

I 'met' this guy on an internet dating site, and we have been chatting for a few weeks. It was all good, but I went to work and had to put my phone away. He accused me of gaslighting (wtf)even tho I was working. I decided it was too needy, and wayyyy too soon to be reacting like that, so I told him I just wanted to be friends. I made up some stuff about having too much on atm, because I don't wanna hurt his feelings, and i admitted that he was really stressing me out. He proceeded to send me tonnes of voicenotes where he's crying, and saying he can't be friends, cos he'll always wants more, but then he's begging me to stay in contact. He says he really cares for me, but we HAVE NOT met face to face. it's all too much, isn't it? The stupid thing is, I feel very guilty about it all. I feel like I'm being emotionally manipulated. I don't wanna be nasty to him, but it's mental. How can I tell him to back off without being horrible?
I think he has attachment issues..I mean 2 weeks then crying? That's mad. I think you should tell him straight that you don't want to go further with this. If he wants to stay in contact he may. If he still wants more block him. Nobody has time for people begging it all the time.
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Anonymous #1
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The scary thing is that he's a police officer too.
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Napp
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The scary thing is that he's a police officer too.
Somewhat worrying. I stand by you should block him and never speak to him again, you dobt want a creep with the powers of a cop making your life unpleasant.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by Napp)
Somewhat worrying. I stand by you should block him and never speak to him again, you dobt want a creep with the powers of a cop making your life unpleasant.
Yeh, I am just trying to be kind and not resort to that, because it sounds like he's been through a lot. He opened up massively about some childhood trauma, and I feel really bad for him, but at the same time, I can't deal with this madness. It's too full on for me.
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Zarek
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#8
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It’s a bit bonkers and not really your problem to solve although it is positive that you feel some compassion. Dating rejection can be soul destroying, particularly repeated, but you can’t lay it at the person you’re hoping to go out withs door. If you cant resolve it promptly on a friendly basis I think it’s best to block.
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ANM775
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This is crazy, but here goes...

I 'met' this guy on an internet dating site, and we have been chatting for a few weeks. It was all good, but I went to work and had to put my phone away. He accused me of gaslighting (wtf)even tho I was working. I decided it was too needy, and wayyyy too soon to be reacting like that, so I told him I just wanted to be friends. I made up some stuff about having too much on atm, because I don't wanna hurt his feelings, and i admitted that he was really stressing me out. He proceeded to send me tonnes of voicenotes where he's crying, and saying he can't be friends, cos he'll always wants more, but then he's begging me to stay in contact. He says he really cares for me, but we HAVE NOT met face to face. it's all too much, isn't it? The stupid thing is, I feel very guilty about it all. I feel like I'm being emotionally manipulated. I don't wanna be nasty to him, but it's mental. How can I tell him to back off without being horrible?
It's either:


1) He's probably been rejected a lot online and got his hopes up for you, and this rejection is one in a long line and his mental health is buckling and he's breaking down

2) He is trying to manipulate you into dating him. Some aspects of 1 may or may not also be present
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