Can my mum force me back to her house?
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My mums just told me and my auntie she's coming here later today
I'm scared
I'm scared
Original post by Ellaofthebelle
My mums just told me and my auntie she's coming here later today
I'm scared
I'm scared
ok
Original post by Ellaofthebelle
My mums just told me and my auntie she's coming here later today
I'm scared
I'm scared
Try to get in touch with Childline on 0800 1111
Your other option is to get in touch with your local Social Services Department. They should have an out of hours number.
Original post by Kerzen
Try to get in touch with Childline on 0800 1111
Your other option is to get in touch with your local Social Services Department. They should have an out of hours number.
Your other option is to get in touch with your local Social Services Department. They should have an out of hours number.
Should I just wait till she gets here??
I'm worried she will get violent and/or hurt me
Original post by Ellaofthebelle
Should I just wait till she gets here??
what is she realistically going to do?
Original post by Ellaofthebelle
I'm worried she will get violent and/or hurt me
u have got ur auntie and if things get out of hands scream and scream and phone the police
Original post by owlknightdragon
u have got ur auntie and if things get out of hands scream and scream and phone the police
Ok please don't be rude I'm scared of her
What will screaming and screaming do??
Original post by Ellaofthebelle
Should I just wait till she gets here??
No, ring Childline now.
Original post by Ellaofthebelle
Ok please don't be rude I'm scared of her
What will screaming and screaming do??
What will screaming and screaming do??
it will grab the attention of ur neighbours as they will be wondering what is going on and help u or just leg it for the door
Original post by Ellaofthebelle
My mums just told me and my auntie she's coming here later today
I'm scared
I'm scared
If she comes round and tries to take you by force or starts making a scene outside ring the police, if she wants to take you let it go through the courts / social services instead which will likely favour you. Tell the police you're scared she will hurt / kidnap you, and stay on the line so they can hear what's going on. DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR / LET HER IN. If a police comes round and documents all this then it will be a good thing that it's all on official record, it will help you to claim independence or for your aunt to gain custody.
Do not be tempted to go back with her 'for now', it will make it much harder for you to get away again later, especially if your mum starts taking away your support networks and means of communication. Any idea why she's doing this? If you have autism could she possibly be wanting to exploit you for any benefits you may be receiving?
Original post by owlknightdragon
yeah it seems "legitimate"
Even if OP lives in the smallest district in the UK by population (Isles of Scilly), It would be unlikely that anyone here would be able to track her down. Obviously it's her right to not disclose but it seems legitimate to me.
Original post by Vapordave
Even if OP lives in the smallest district in the UK by population (Isles of Scilly), It would be unlikely that anyone here would be able to track her down. Obviously it's her right to not disclose but it seems legitimate to me.
ok
Original post by Kerzen
That's correct. Some Social Services Departments have sections for helping young people and I would have endeavoured to find the number for that team. They would be the appropriate people to help someone of 16.
The idea about seeking the help of a social worker is to prevent the situation becoming more inflamed. It's much better to try and remedy situations like this before things get out of hand. I'd rather hear that the matter was resolved in this way than because the Police had to be called to deal with a breach of the peace and potentially, assault.
The idea about seeking the help of a social worker is to prevent the situation becoming more inflamed. It's much better to try and remedy situations like this before things get out of hand. I'd rather hear that the matter was resolved in this way than because the Police had to be called to deal with a breach of the peace and potentially, assault.
Don't dissuade OP from calling the police, yes it's better to go through social services if the time is there but if the mum turns up and poses an immediate threat / danger to OP then police need to be called and involved. It will help them later for any incidents to be documented and it's better than being forced to mums house where they are at risk of abuse and may find it harder to leave even through social service channels, especially if mum removes OP's support methods and methods of communication.
As far as the laws concerned yes
Original post by Kerzen
Try to get in touch with Childline on 0800 1111
Your other option is to get in touch with your local Social Services Department. They should have an out of hours number.
Your other option is to get in touch with your local Social Services Department. They should have an out of hours number.
Getting in touch with childline is great advice, contact them now before your mum arrives and see what advice they have for you so you can prepare better.
Original post by Kogomogo
Don't dissuade OP from calling the police, yes it's better to go through social services if the time is there but if the mum turns up and poses an immediate threat / danger to OP then police need to be called and involved. It will help them later for any incidents to be documented and it's better than being forced to mums house where they are at risk of abuse and may find it harder to leave even through social service channels, especially if mum removes OP's support methods and methods of communication.
I would agree, of course. We have no way of knowing what the timeline is, whether the Mum has said that she is on her way over or plans to be there this evening.
I'm hoping that Ella will at least have been able to speak to Childline before that happens.
My suggestion re Social Services was originally from earlier in the thread, when Ella hadn't said that her Mum planned to be there today.
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by Ellaofthebelle
I'm 16. My mum moved me to my aunties about 10 years ago but my mum is now threatening to force me back to her house. Can she force me?
I dont usually read the whole thread, but thought I would see what people have to say.
I would say at 16 I definitely knew my own mind and your only impediment according to you appears to be some mild autism, which doesnt affect you.
It is clear from your replies that you do not wish to go back home and are happy staying with your Aunt.
You have a massive track record of this by the length of time you have stayed with her.
Your OP indicates you are scared of your mum trying to force you back to her house, which is no longer your home.
For the last 10 years you have lived at your aunts and she has looked after you?
Looking at the replies there are 2 approaches.
1. Is to get social services involved now and they can act as go between with your mum, but they will come and ask lots of questions. Your mum is likely to react in a highly negative way towards social services. Social services will listen to you, but with or without them your interests are paramount and your wishes will be given first consideration.
Your mum has some rights as a parent under parental authority to oversee your upbringing, but it would see to me she has largely abandoned those to your aunt and now you are 16 then only in extreme circumstances would your mums wishes override your own. This will not happen.
The advantage of social services is that they can speak to your mum and if needs be hand over your care to your aunt. At 16 you dont really need that level of oversight as you are already at college and can exercise your own free will. Parental responsibility will not be enough in your situation for her to do anything. My concern is that social services can make things worse and your mum could flip, even if she cant force you home the involvement of SS could make your mum cut ties with you completely. I dont know your mum but she sounds very angry and someone who would hold a grudge. If you have done the last ten years ok without her, then I would avoid involving them,
2. The other approach is to follow the fact of what the law says that you can leave home at 16, just as they can throw you out at 16. You are old enough to decide where you live and parental responsibility will have no effect in your case unless you were a person who was a danger to themselves, which doesnt appear to be the case based on what you said. For all intends and purposes you are an adult and if anything legal happened a court would be most interested in what was best for you and your wishes rather than your mums. That would clearly be to stay with your Aunt.
What I would do and consistent with whats been said.
1. Stick up for yourself.
2. Contact the police before anything happens and ask to speak to someone in child protection or get their names. Write them a letter explaining the situation and that you are concerned your mum might cause trouble. Point out you are 16. Tell them your wish is to stay with your aunt.and you would appreciate a call from them so your situation is kept on file in case anything happens, then they will know.
3. Talk to your college welfare officer, send them the letter you have sent to the police and go and see them. The reason to do this is that they can back you up if the police start ringing round and say they have talked to you and you have already expressed concern. As far as they know you are happy where you are and are posing no issues at school.
4. If your situation was known at school, then contact a teacher you trusted or the school welfare officer and chat with them about whats happening . You can then use them as a reference if anything kicks off.
5. The reason to do all this is if your mum tries anything the police will know whats going on and they can speak to other adults i.e school and college to confirm it plus your aunt.
Its then up to you whether you want the police to contact your mum and without getting SS involved. I suspect she is more likely to listen to the police.
By all means contact childline, but this is an alternative organisation which deals with people who are estranged from their parents and families. It seems that would fit your situation as you dont have much of a relationship with your mum.
You lose nothing talking to childine 08001111.
https://www.standalone.org.uk/contact/
If you need to talk to some additional helplines then.
1. Samaritans 116 123
2. Papyrus HOPElineUK: 0800 068 41 41. Support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress – particularly teenagers and young adults.
Papyrus-uk.org
3. The Mix. 0808 808 4994. Sunday to Friday from 2pm to 11pm. webchat Sunday to Friday from 2pm to 11pm, and Saturday from 8pm to 11pm.
I would favour approach 2 as social services dont always make things better imo.
Original post by 999tigger
I dont usually read the whole thread, but thought I would see what people have to say.
I would say at 16 I definitely knew my own mind and your only impediment according to you appears to be some mild autism, which doesnt affect you.
It is clear from your replies that you do not wish to go back home and are happy staying with your Aunt.
You have a massive track record of this by the length of time you have stayed with her.
Your OP indicates you are scared of your mum trying to force you back to her house, which is no longer your home.
For the last 10 years you have lived at your aunts and she has looked after you?
Looking at the replies there are 2 approaches.
1. Is to get social services involved now and they can act as go between with your mum, but they will come and ask lots of questions. Your mum is likely to react in a highly negative way towards social services. Social services will listen to you, but with or without them your interests are paramount and your wishes will be given first consideration.
Your mum has some rights as a parent under parental authority to oversee your upbringing, but it would see to me she has largely abandoned those to your aunt and now you are 16 then only in extreme circumstances would your mums wishes override your own. This will not happen.
The advantage of social services is that they can speak to your mum and if needs be hand over your care to your aunt. At 16 you dont really need that level of oversight as you are already at college and can exercise your own free will. Parental responsibility will not be enough in your situation for her to do anything. My concern is that social services can make things worse and your mum could flip, even if she cant force you home the involvement of SS could make your mum cut ties with you completely. I dont know your mum but she sounds very angry and someone who would hold a grudge. If you have done the last ten years ok without her, then I would avoid involving them,
2. The other approach is to follow the fact of what the law says that you can leave home at 16, just as they can throw you out at 16. You are old enough to decide where you live and parental responsibility will have no effect in your case unless you were a person who was a danger to themselves, which doesnt appear to be the case based on what you said. For all intends and purposes you are an adult and if anything legal happened a court would be most interested in what was best for you and your wishes rather than your mums. That would clearly be to stay with your Aunt.
What I would do and consistent with whats been said.
1. Stick up for yourself.
2. Contact the police before anything happens and ask to speak to someone in child protection or get their names. Write them a letter explaining the situation and that you are concerned your mum might cause trouble. Point out you are 16. Tell them your wish is to stay with your aunt.and you would appreciate a call from them so your situation is kept on file in case anything happens, then they will know.
3. Talk to your college welfare officer, send them the letter you have sent to the police and go and see them. The reason to do this is that they can back you up if the police start ringing round and say they have talked to you and you have already expressed concern. As far as they know you are happy where you are and are posing no issues at school.
4. If your situation was known at school, then contact a teacher you trusted or the school welfare officer and chat with them about whats happening . You can then use them as a reference if anything kicks off.
5. The reason to do all this is if your mum tries anything the police will know whats going on and they can speak to other adults i.e school and college to confirm it plus your aunt.
Its then up to you whether you want the police to contact your mum and without getting SS involved. I suspect she is more likely to listen to the police.
By all means contact childline, but this is an alternative organisation which deals with people who are estranged from their parents and families. It seems that would fit your situation as you dont have much of a relationship with your mum.
You lose nothing talking to childine 08001111.
https://www.standalone.org.uk/contact/
If you need to talk to some additional helplines then.
1. Samaritans 116 123
2. Papyrus HOPElineUK: 0800 068 41 41. Support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress – particularly teenagers and young adults.
Papyrus-uk.org
3. The Mix. 0808 808 4994. Sunday to Friday from 2pm to 11pm. webchat Sunday to Friday from 2pm to 11pm, and Saturday from 8pm to 11pm.
I would favour approach 2 as social services dont always make things better imo.
I would say at 16 I definitely knew my own mind and your only impediment according to you appears to be some mild autism, which doesnt affect you.
It is clear from your replies that you do not wish to go back home and are happy staying with your Aunt.
You have a massive track record of this by the length of time you have stayed with her.
Your OP indicates you are scared of your mum trying to force you back to her house, which is no longer your home.
For the last 10 years you have lived at your aunts and she has looked after you?
Looking at the replies there are 2 approaches.
1. Is to get social services involved now and they can act as go between with your mum, but they will come and ask lots of questions. Your mum is likely to react in a highly negative way towards social services. Social services will listen to you, but with or without them your interests are paramount and your wishes will be given first consideration.
Your mum has some rights as a parent under parental authority to oversee your upbringing, but it would see to me she has largely abandoned those to your aunt and now you are 16 then only in extreme circumstances would your mums wishes override your own. This will not happen.
The advantage of social services is that they can speak to your mum and if needs be hand over your care to your aunt. At 16 you dont really need that level of oversight as you are already at college and can exercise your own free will. Parental responsibility will not be enough in your situation for her to do anything. My concern is that social services can make things worse and your mum could flip, even if she cant force you home the involvement of SS could make your mum cut ties with you completely. I dont know your mum but she sounds very angry and someone who would hold a grudge. If you have done the last ten years ok without her, then I would avoid involving them,
2. The other approach is to follow the fact of what the law says that you can leave home at 16, just as they can throw you out at 16. You are old enough to decide where you live and parental responsibility will have no effect in your case unless you were a person who was a danger to themselves, which doesnt appear to be the case based on what you said. For all intends and purposes you are an adult and if anything legal happened a court would be most interested in what was best for you and your wishes rather than your mums. That would clearly be to stay with your Aunt.
What I would do and consistent with whats been said.
1. Stick up for yourself.
2. Contact the police before anything happens and ask to speak to someone in child protection or get their names. Write them a letter explaining the situation and that you are concerned your mum might cause trouble. Point out you are 16. Tell them your wish is to stay with your aunt.and you would appreciate a call from them so your situation is kept on file in case anything happens, then they will know.
3. Talk to your college welfare officer, send them the letter you have sent to the police and go and see them. The reason to do this is that they can back you up if the police start ringing round and say they have talked to you and you have already expressed concern. As far as they know you are happy where you are and are posing no issues at school.
4. If your situation was known at school, then contact a teacher you trusted or the school welfare officer and chat with them about whats happening . You can then use them as a reference if anything kicks off.
5. The reason to do all this is if your mum tries anything the police will know whats going on and they can speak to other adults i.e school and college to confirm it plus your aunt.
Its then up to you whether you want the police to contact your mum and without getting SS involved. I suspect she is more likely to listen to the police.
By all means contact childline, but this is an alternative organisation which deals with people who are estranged from their parents and families. It seems that would fit your situation as you dont have much of a relationship with your mum.
You lose nothing talking to childine 08001111.
https://www.standalone.org.uk/contact/
If you need to talk to some additional helplines then.
1. Samaritans 116 123
2. Papyrus HOPElineUK: 0800 068 41 41. Support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress – particularly teenagers and young adults.
Papyrus-uk.org
3. The Mix. 0808 808 4994. Sunday to Friday from 2pm to 11pm. webchat Sunday to Friday from 2pm to 11pm, and Saturday from 8pm to 11pm.
I would favour approach 2 as social services dont always make things better imo.
wow this was better than the whole thread
Just to add I would ring the local police station now and explain the situation, just as you have done to us.
It will save time for later if your mum does come round.
If needed they can also go and see your mum to dissuade her.
Her knowing the police know may well make her angry but it should also dissuade her.
She already sounds angry.
It will save time for later if your mum does come round.
If needed they can also go and see your mum to dissuade her.
Her knowing the police know may well make her angry but it should also dissuade her.
She already sounds angry.
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