English- Which grade would you give this? 1-9

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winter95
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Tonight was the night that changed everything; the night that my world ended.I glimpsed at a scene so placid, a lustrous starry night where no moon shone. The stars sparkled like diamonds, illuminating the Atlantic Ocean. The atmosphere was serene and smooth like the waters below. As this great ship rippled silently through the waves, the only sounds to be heard were the shrieks of the Atlantic petrel bird overhead. Suddenly, and without warning, the boat lurched forward, striking the solid iceberg below. The engine cut. Serenity was replaced with panic. The great boat was promised to be unsinkable, but as the order came for women and children to approach the lifeboats, hysteria built like a rumbling volcano. I heard the explosion of the distress rocket as it was sent shooting into the darkened sky above. Families were separated and the screams of terrified children echoed in the air. The darkened shadows of terrified individuals flashed by as those without hope jumped into the sea below. I hesitated, but ultimately decided to join them as the muffled explosions on board were joined by the liner tilting further into the abyss of the sea. The sudden coldness enveloped my lungs as I sank further and further into the depths of the ocean. I forced myself to relax and head back up to the surface. Rumbling roars and screams of desperation filled my ears, joined by the blinding light of the explosions surrounding me. I was sent into a fit of coughing and spluttering, as the icy salty water burned my throat. I scanned the horizon for any nearby lifeboats. Desperately, I glimpsed for the silhouette of an emergency vessel that could provide my safety, and become my saviour. I screamed for help and those rowing glanced in my direction. I frantically waved my arms, each time sinking further into the petrifying waters below. The oars stopped for mere seconds for a moment of hesitation and hope filled my heart until the realisation hit hard that the oars were sailing away from me and the capsizing liner behind. The half-empty lifeboat became an image getting smaller and smaller obscured by the darkened sky. “Please, no, I don’t want to die... please come back,” I gasped. Tonight was the night that changed everything, the night that my world ended.
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chillin'
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im no expert. Its pretty good. For English Language GCSE they don't care how well the story is writen simply that it is jam packed with all language and structural techniques( a shame really).
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Tolgash
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(Original post by chillin')
im no expert. Its pretty good. For English Language GCSE they don't care how well the story is writen simply that it is jam packed with all language and structural techniques( a shame really).
Not necessarily true.

- TE
Last edited by Tolgash; 3 weeks ago
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chillin'
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It is true.Unfortunately.
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Tolgash
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(Original post by chillin')
It is true.Unfortunately.
I managed to do very well without that.

- TE
Last edited by Tolgash; 3 weeks ago
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Roses & Dreams
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(Original post by Tolgash)
Not necessarily true.

- T. E.
Agreed
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chillin'
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a well written story doesn't have to have lots of techniques jam packed in it. But, to do well in the GCSE exam need to include lots of techniques. A well written story won't hurt your chances of doing well in the exam but its not they are after. They are looking for how many techniques you have used using all of them and making the story original is the way to go for exam purposes.
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Tolgash
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(Original post by chillin')
a well written story doesn't have to have lots of techniques jam packed in it. But, to do well in the GCSE exam need to include lots of techniques. A well written story won't hurt your chances of doing well in the exam but its not they are after. They are looking for how many techniques you have used using all of them and making the story original is the way to go for exam purposes.
It isn't. I got full marks without that.

- TE
Last edited by Tolgash; 3 weeks ago
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chillin'
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so you didn't use a single technique in your story whatsoever?
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Tolgash
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(Original post by chillin')
so you didn't use a single technique in your story whatsoever?
I used a few, but it wasn't 'jam packed'.

- TE
Last edited by Tolgash; 3 weeks ago
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chillin'
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Well "a few" and "jam packed" are both subjective. Best be on the safe side and use as many techniques as you can while being original to do well.
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Tolgash
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(Original post by chillin')
Well "a few" and "jam packed" are both subjective. Best be on the safe side and use as many techniques as you can while being original to do well.
Okay. Sure.

- TE
Last edited by Tolgash; 3 weeks ago
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