Have you ever been dumped? What was the reason for it?

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sunny.side.up
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go on
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Zarek
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Yes. It wasn’t working out..
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JustOneMoreThing
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I'm expecting a memoir by the end of the year on every single user based on the number of questions you've been asking lol.
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Anonymous #1
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I stole her Ben and jerries cookie dough
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TheMcSame
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Yup, had an argument, our first argument might I add, and not a particularly bad one at that. I was going to go round to hers that night, but she messages me when I'm already part way down telling me not to come because she's sick with a migrane. So I try and convince her because, well, I was her bf, I wanted to be there to comfort her.

She then says 'don't come round today, I'm sick, I don't want you to catch anything, come tomorrow instead'. Now, being a bit of an overthinker I have a bit of a tendency to point out flaws in the logic of what people are saying. So I confront her about it, saying that if she doesn't want me to catch anything, what about coming tomorrow changes that? A bit of back and fourth on that, I got frustrated (part this, part a build up of stress due to a major lack of communication in regards to me going from angecy to permanent employee, and thus from weekly to monthly pay, meaning no forewarning to put money aside (they've been known to be quite slow with this process), and with my car's MOT coming up at the time, massively worrying to suddenly find out I'm not getting paid for a month with little savings) and just outright said that what she was saying was suspicious and that if I can't come round that night because she doesn't want me to catch something, then I wouldn't be going round at all until the weekend after. You know, the logical solution to being ill and not wanting to pass anything along...

So much for that promise of talking things out first... Tis a very fresh breakup though, I'll give it a few days then try and talk to her. Don't particularly have my hopes set that high, and honestly, I feel like I might only be doing it so I can look back and say I tried.

Talking with some coworkers over the last few days has certainly got me back down to Earth and made me think that even if she does change her mind, I might change mine. Damage has been done (general heartbreak, trust has been broken (broken promise, if she loved me, why would she jump out the relationship at the first big bump, why would she rather hurt me than talk things out). Granted, I played my part in that as well, I won't deny that. But that last part especially makes me rethink everything, not wanting to explain and talk things out? Jumping ship at the first major bump? Like, I'm not crazy right? Those two things alone would make you guys wonder if she ever really loved you in the first place if it happened to you?


HOLY MOTHER OF EDITS: I'M AN IDIOT. IT LITERALLY JUST DAWNED ON ME THAT MIGRAINES AREN'T CONTAGIOUS.

All I have to say to that is just wow... Never pinned her down as that sort, though, to be quite honest, she does have a tendency to worry a bit too much so it may have been genuine concern. But still, was I really in the wrong for confronting that logic?
Last edited by TheMcSame; 1 month ago
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sunny.side.up
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(Original post by Zarek)
Yes. It wasn’t working out..
was it a mutural thing or...
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sunny.side.up
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(Original post by JustOneMoreThing)
I'm expecting a memoir by the end of the year on every single user based on the number of questions you've been asking lol.
im not sure if i have the time for that. :redface:
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sunny.side.up
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I stole her Ben and jerries cookie dough
you have to be joking :console:
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sunny.side.up
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#9
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(Original post by TheMcSame)
Yup, had an argument, our first argument might I add, and not a particularly bad one at that. I was going to go round to hers that night, but she messages me when I'm already part way down telling me not to come because she's sick with a migrane. So I try and convince her because, well, I was her bf, I wanted to be there to comfort her.

She then says 'don't come round today, I'm sick, I don't want you to catch anything, come tomorrow instead'. Now, being a bit of an overthinker I have a bit of a tendency to point out flaws in the logic of what people are saying. So I confront her about it, saying that if she doesn't want me to catch anything, what about coming tomorrow changes that? A bit of back and fourth on that, I got frustrated (part this, part a build up of stress due to a major lack of communication in regards to me going from angecy to permanent employee, and thus from weekly to monthly pay, meaning no forewarning to put money aside (they've been known to be quite slow with this process), and with my car's MOT coming up at the time, massively worrying to suddenly find out I'm not getting paid for a month with little savings) and just outright said that what she was saying was suspicious and that if I can't come round that night because she doesn't want me to catch something, then I wouldn't be going round at all until the weekend after. You know, the logical solution to being ill and not wanting to pass anything along...

So much for that promise of talking things out first... Tis a very fresh breakup though, I'll give it a few days then try and talk to her. Don't particularly have my hopes set that high, and honestly, I feel like I might only be doing it so I can look back and say I tried.

Talking with some coworkers over the last few days has certainly got me back down to Earth and made me think that even if she does change her mind, I might change mine. Damage has been done (general heartbreak, trust has been broken (broken promise, if she loved me, why would she jump out the relationship at the first big bump, why would she rather hurt me than talk things out). Granted, I played my part in that as well, I won't deny that. But that last part especially makes me rethink everything, not wanting to explain and talk things out? Jumping ship at the first major bump? Like, I'm not crazy right? Those two things alone would make you guys wonder if she ever really loved you in the first place if it happened to you?


HOLY MOTHER OF EDITS: I'M AN IDIOT. IT LITERALLY JUST DAWNED ON ME THAT MIGRAINES AREN'T CONTAGIOUS.

All I have to say to that is just wow... Never pinned her down as that sort, though, to be quite honest, she does have a tendency to worry a bit too much so it may have been genuine concern. But still, was I really in the wrong for confronting that logic?
wow, that was a lot to read. if i give you my honest opinion it sounds like she cheated on you. because well, like you said migranes arent contagious, and if you were her bf why wouldnt she want to see you unless she was with someone else.
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TheMcSame
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
wow, that was a lot to read. if i give you my honest opinion it sounds like she cheated on you. because well, like you said migranes arent contagious, and if you were her bf why wouldnt she want to see you unless she was with someone else.
So you see where I'm coming from, right? So while some of what I did might have been a bit out of order, it wasn't crazy of me to point out what she was saying was a bit sus and start to question it?

But then at the same time, her household isn't small, it's not really something she could hide. She definitely would've taken someone along with her upon first meeting this hypothetical person, not really the going out type, never hid her phone from me, bar from one time when she went on the browser and something came up (being a one-off, I'd write that off as an embarrassing thing). Maybe someone she already knew? But why now? Like, this whole thing is literally the first sign that anything might be going off, even with hindsight, there wasn't anything to suggest there was anything going on.

Then there's the matter of what would they be doing, because sex wouldn't've been on the table. Wouldn't share this under normal circumstances, but rn I have little reason to respect the privacy of the matter, that and I haven't posted any info that'd identify who she is anyway. We had problems getting it in, or, if we did get it in, problems with pain for her which we pinned down to vaginismus. Even a finger would be too much sometimes.

So then it's a matter of meeting someone else. But we were a bit weird in the sense that we talked a lot. It was only when she nipped out to the shop, we were at work (she works at the school she went to, any relationship there would deffo questioned), she went off to a music lesson, one of us went to bed or went for a walk at night that we weren't talking. It all added up.

It's honestly a big ball of confusion, because one thing says she has someone, but then everything seems to add up or there's a bit of info that'd make that theory questionable at most. Idk. If she's willing to talk in a few days I'll try to throw it in as we talk things out because you're not the first to suggest this. If she isn't? Well, what else can I chuck it down to.
Last edited by TheMcSame; 1 month ago
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LovelyMrFox
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No, I have not.
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by JustOneMoreThing)
I'm expecting a memoir by the end of the year on every single user based on the number of questions you've been asking lol.
I genuinely want to see this :rofl:
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Vanessa Chuah
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yes lol. i don't really break up with people. they always break up with me. i've broken up with a few people... but i'm mostly dumped most of the times... but i'd say it's because either i was too clingy, we lived far away, or i cheated.
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sunny.side.up
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(Original post by TheMcSame)
So you see where I'm coming from, right? So while some of what I did might have been a bit out of order, it wasn't crazy of me to point out what she was saying was a bit sus and start to question it?

But then at the same time, her household isn't small, it's not really something she could hide. She definitely would've taken someone along with her upon first meeting this hypothetical person, not really the going out type, never hid her phone from me, bar from one time when she went on the browser and something came up (being a one-off, I'd write that off as an embarrassing thing). Maybe someone she already knew? But why now? Like, this whole thing is literally the first sign that anything might be going off, even with hindsight, there wasn't anything to suggest there was anything going on.

Then there's the matter of what would they be doing, because sex wouldn't've been on the table. Wouldn't share this under normal circumstances, but rn I have little reason to respect the privacy of the matter, that and I haven't posted any info that'd identify who she is anyway. We had problems getting it in, or, if we did get it in, problems with pain for her which we pinned down to vaginismus. Even a finger would be too much sometimes.

So then it's a matter of meeting someone else. But we were a bit weird in the sense that we talked a lot. It was only when she nipped out to the shop, we were at work (she works at the school she went to, any relationship there would deffo questioned), she went off to a music lesson, one of us went to bed or went for a walk at night that we weren't talking. It all added up.

It's honestly a big ball of confusion, because one thing says she has someone, but then everything seems to add up or there's a bit of info that'd make that theory questionable at most. Idk. If she's willing to talk in a few days I'll try to throw it in as we talk things out because you're not the first to suggest this. If she isn't? Well, what else can I chuck it down to.
she could be quite a good secret keeper/hider. :dontknow: maybe (if she is/was) the person she would be she actually fell in love with or is not having sex. she could be making out, exc. you know what i mean. i dont know what is going on tbh, you will have to consolt with her. i hope everything goes well. xxxx :hugs:
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sunny.side.up
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
No, I have not.
if you have never been dumped how have you been in more than 1 relationship? have you dumped everyone? :innocent:

(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
I genuinely want to see this :rofl:
i dont not have the time nor energy to do something like that. nor do i want to :nah:

(Original post by Vanessa Chuah)
yes lol. i don't really break up with people. they always break up with me. i've broken up with a few people... but i'm mostly dumped most of the times... but i'd say it's because either i was too clingy, we lived far away, or i cheated.
how many times have you cheated?
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Zarek
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
was it a mutural thing or...
No. I thought it had been very much working out. Never expect a clear answer that makes sense to you when you’re dumped. Realise that the picture can change suddenly in a relationship and the only thing you can be sure is true is what you can see with your own eyes.
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
if you have never been dumped how have you been in more than 1 relationship? have you dumped everyone? :innocent:

i dont not have the time nor energy to do something like that. nor do i want to :nah:
Whoever said Ive been in more than one relationship? :lol:

Why not? It could be interesting
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TheStarboy
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Not going to open that can of beans again. No thank you. It was nice when it lasted but ended up worse than I imagined.
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NFlower
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....well, I received messages from his other girl telling me to leave him. I had no idea he had a girl all along, it crushed me but I let go. And him being a poor communicator, it took him weeks to check on me (he was in another country) after moving on (I don't want to be the other woman,) he texted me about my silence, the breakup appeared like it was him telling me. but he insisted that it was the girl. well I moved on and I've had major trust issues since then.
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NFlower
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So recently, there is this guy, was starting to fall for him and he insisted that he loved me. but there were rumours about him being a player. I didn't really believe them and every time I asked him, he just insisted that they hated him. so one night my friend calls and warns me about this guy and without thinking I call him over ASAP to talk things thru, I wanted to trust him but again there is no smoke without fire.so after denying everything, I asked for his phone (that's if he was comfortable with me checking it) and he said he was. I guess he thought by saying that I would back off but I went for it. and mehn what I found just confirmed all the rumours. I saw the guy literally sweat while I pointed out every single lady. well I had to let go.... and I think I'm done for now. Can't handle the pain
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