Should I break up with him?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi, I’m in the closet and so is my boyfriend (bi) we’re long distance sadly but it’s been about 5 months together. We were going to meet each other a few weeks ago but he said he was so scared to so he didn’t. We then restarted college etc and I said we won’t have time to see each other and I got quite upset that he didn’t want to see me. So he arranged a Saturday about three weeks ago now. He planned everything but never booked it saying we should wait. Suddenly he put himself down to work and said he couldn’t do that day either. Finally this Saturday we were set. I had said I’m so annoyed there’s always an excuse what’s the issue. I said I’m not getting my hopes up at first as I had a feeling it wouldn’t happen. He then convinced me it was and last week said we need to take time to plan and book everything next week (week just gone). It got to Thursday and he said we can book it tomorrow (Friday) I found this odd and I said guess it’s not happening then as you said we needed time to plan it. He said it was and we could plan it that night. I finished work at 10pm came out to a text saying his family had planned a meal and he couldn’t meet me and he said he sighed when he was told.I knew this was a lie. He made a big thing if he wasn’t lying. I then said I’m so sick of the excuses you want to meet me or you don’t. He ignored me for a few hours but later on he came back and said he did lie about the meal. And the truth was he’s not confident enough and he has anxiety. This might be true but he lied to me. He’s also lied before I found out he had a bf and he started speaking to me whilst he was still with him and he lied saying he had no one. I found out and he knows that. But I’m literally so upset that he’s cancelled meeting again it’s going to take weeks for it to be replanned on a date only for it to be Canceled agin and I cba. Yeah he may have anxiety but it’s the level of detail he lied about again. He lead me on massively all week I was saying like I’m at the shop buying you a present and he just let me. He also delayed booking anything as in the back of his head he knew it wasn’t happening. I don’t know how to move forward I can’t act normal as I’m so sad. Pls help
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DrawTheLine
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, I’m in the closet and so is my boyfriend (bi) we’re long distance sadly but it’s been about 5 months together. We were going to meet each other a few weeks ago but he said he was so scared to so he didn’t. We then restarted college etc and I said we won’t have time to see each other and I got quite upset that he didn’t want to see me. So he arranged a Saturday about three weeks ago now. He planned everything but never booked it saying we should wait. Suddenly he put himself down to work and said he couldn’t do that day either. Finally this Saturday we were set. I had said I’m so annoyed there’s always an excuse what’s the issue. I said I’m not getting my hopes up at first as I had a feeling it wouldn’t happen. He then convinced me it was and last week said we need to take time to plan and book everything next week (week just gone). It got to Thursday and he said we can book it tomorrow (Friday) I found this odd and I said guess it’s not happening then as you said we needed time to plan it. He said it was and we could plan it that night. I finished work at 10pm came out to a text saying his family had planned a meal and he couldn’t meet me and he said he sighed when he was told.I knew this was a lie. He made a big thing if he wasn’t lying. I then said I’m so sick of the excuses you want to meet me or you don’t. He ignored me for a few hours but later on he came back and said he did lie about the meal. And the truth was he’s not confident enough and he has anxiety. This might be true but he lied to me. He’s also lied before I found out he had a bf and he started speaking to me whilst he was still with him and he lied saying he had no one. I found out and he knows that. But I’m literally so upset that he’s cancelled meeting again it’s going to take weeks for it to be replanned on a date only for it to be Canceled agin and I cba. Yeah he may have anxiety but it’s the level of detail he lied about again. He lead me on massively all week I was saying like I’m at the shop buying you a present and he just let me. He also delayed booking anything as in the back of his head he knew it wasn’t happening. I don’t know how to move forward I can’t act normal as I’m so sad. Pls help
I think you should break up with him. It doesn't sound like he is mentally in the right place for a relationship and he doesn't sound committed to you. He is being quite rude stringing you along like this when he knows full well he isn't up to meeting you, yet he is constantly giving you the impression you will meet. Also the lying is a big red flag. I think you should end it and move on. Find someone who actually respects you.
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jellybellyb
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This does not seem like a very healthy relationship. For him to continuously lie about meeting up, plus lying from the very beginning when it comes to him being in a relationship, isn't something I would personally like to deal with. To me, it seems that your whole relationship has been built upon lie after lie and that is obviously not something anyone should go through. I completely understand about him saying he has anxiety and I totally get it if you may feel remorse because of it, but if you both trusted each other and loved one another like how two people in a healthy relationship do, meeting up would not be a problem. Because of this, I don't think he is ready for a relationship and it would be best to let him work on himself without having to be committed to someone, and you should definitely find someone who can give you that attention and trust that you deserve when you are ready for it. Of course, it is totally up to you and how you feel, but I hope whatever you choose makes you happy!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
I think you should break up with him. It doesn't sound like he is mentally in the right place for a relationship and he doesn't sound committed to you. He is being quite rude stringing you along like this when he knows full well he isn't up to meeting you, yet he is constantly giving you the impression you will meet. Also the lying is a big red flag. I think you should end it and move on. Find someone who actually respects you.
Thank you this is what I needed
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by jellybellyb)
This does not seem like a very healthy relationship. For him to continuously lie about meeting up, plus lying from the very beginning when it comes to him being in a relationship, isn't something I would personally like to deal with. To me, it seems that your whole relationship has been built upon lie after lie and that is obviously not something anyone should go through. I completely understand about him saying he has anxiety and I totally get it if you may feel remorse because of it, but if you both trusted each other and loved one another like how two people in a healthy relationship do, meeting up would not be a problem. Because of this, I don't think he is ready for a relationship and it would be best to let him work on himself without having to be committed to someone, and you should definitely find someone who can give you that attention and trust that you deserve when you are ready for it. Of course, it is totally up to you and how you feel, but I hope whatever you choose makes you happy!
Thank you I agree with this!
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