Muslim marriage struggles

As a female I decide whether I want to have sex, if I want children, how many and if I want a father involved (biological or otherwise).
"My body, my choice".

In Britain parental responsibility is automatic for all adult women who have given birth as soon as the baby is born.
This is not the case for all men, nor do I want any laws amended to change the legal position.
I don't support equal custody rights for men or offering them automatic parental responsibility.

only thing that really impressed me is high intelligence, strong faith, resilience and loyalty.

I think you got them mixed up. Love marriages are generally considered more open because you get to pick the partner. An arranged marriage can be open but they are inherently conservative. The point is to give the parents control on who their child can be married too. However, love marriage is quite similar in that regard. The act of introducing your partner to your family to get them approved is part of many love marriages too. The only difference is that the parents are only restricted to displaying their approval or disapproval.

I feel so people are attacking my religion so I don’t want to continue this conversation any longer. Some of the comments are hurtful, insulting and mocking

You could always ask for your father's help in the matter.

One thing I learned from my mother is that children are the greatest joy in her life.

Not the husband.

I feel so people are attacking my religion so I don’t want to continue this conversation any longer. Some of the comments are hurtful, insulting and mocking

Yes, the husband is the sperm donor and provider. All of this "love" talk sounds like it's from people who flit from eros to eros and can't sustain a relationship.

not true

husband wife relationship is the most intimate relationship

the husband isnt just some sperm donor or some ATM machine

have some respect for us men because u cant get pregnant on ur own!

High intelligence makes you less likely to be religious. For example: https://www.psypost.org/2019/11/meta-analysis-of-83-studies-produces-very-strong-evidence-for-a-negative-relationship-between-intelligence-and-religiosity-54897

As an Asian myself, honestly I can say for a fact that there would be a lot more divorces in our communities if the whole concept of divorce wasn’t so taboo...


The reason why people stay married in our community isn’t always because they are 100% happy but often because splitting up would be seen as wrong in society...

I see as something open too, you're narrowing down what you want in your potential spouse with the help of family and friends.
Arranged set up- you are actively seeking for love, with the intention of marriage.
With a love marriage, that's not so much the case. Marriage isnt the first thing that pops into ur head.

"This means that there are factors besides intelligence that explain why people are or are not religious. It also means that although more intelligent people tend to be less religious on the average, predicting religiosity from intelligence for individuals is fallible,”

Quote from the author of the study.

We can paint the view* however we want to.
^
In case of misunderstanding, I am not saying you are lying, rather creating a sensational headline. No insult to you.

I agree, some could view it as "open". But I am speaking from personal experience. So my point of view is limited. But I found the arranged relationship I was in to be quite restricting and conservative. For the first few weeks, both my family and the girl instructed me no holding hands, and any form of physical contact was barred. And we usually always had someone accompany us everywhere we went together, and stayed a certain distance from each other, I was even restricted to spending a limited amount of time on the phone with her. At the behest of my family. Which was difficult for me. There was no romance, no connection, no spark, Nothing. Because they wanted us to reserve all the romance for our marriage.

And I kept breaking the rules, and kept getting reminded by my family, sometimes angrily not to hold her hand or get too close! Which frustrated me. So I ended it, Which disappointed my parents and the girl's family. At one point, my father literally wanted to disown me.

I wasn't even physically attracted to her. But my family kept telling me she was very pious and came from a good family and I should give it a shot. My father telling me it would make him proud. Which put so much pressure on me to go with her. Yet, I was also told that it was my choice.

Which makes me now think I was actually thrown into a forced relationship disguised as a consensual relationship. :/

Love relationships are sooo much more open minded and less restrictive, and you have no barriers in the way. And you choose, not your parents. Which enriches the relationship.

But again, I am speaking from personal experience, I am sure not all arranged marriages are this stern, and authoritarian. But Idk.

and where do the IVF treatments come from? they come from male sperm

also men can have a surrogate mother so we dont need women either

and muslim women dont do IVF

IVF is cuckoldry but instead your paying for it

and IVF has a low success rate but a surrogate is guarenteed to give you a kid

i can go on and on

islam says fathers get custody of the kids When they reach a certain age it can be at puberty or at around 7 years old

and mothers cant remarry or else they lose custody of their children

so islam is based af and not cucked like western laws

fathers never pay alimony only child support which is a small amount required to pay for the children

im not going to do a civil marriage only an islamic legally unrecognised one

Its deffo something which is spoken from personal experience.


Wow this thread got me wondering someday I'll be thrown into this, hopefully in a good way😂☺

I agree. I think it's more to do with customs of certain cultures than religion.

Wdym?

Apologies but free speech allows you to say anything so as long as you do not incite violence. Nonetheless, if someone is stating a fact about your religion or culture, and you are unable to handle it, then so be it. Facts do not care about your feelings. If our society was dictated by emotion, we would be in a very dark place.

There a fine line between stating facts and making insensitive and mocking comments. Anyway, now I know where not to post. Some people can’t seem to tolerate that not everyone thinks the same way as they do.

That is true. I am Asian too, and although K-dramas are fantasy for the most part, some of them do portray an objective reality, in that some people remain married for upholding the family image. This is sometimes true with CEOs and big-time investors, since they sometimes require their wife to befriend their investor's wife to help get a contract.