We've never met but he's invited me to his house to eat

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studioso
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I've been speaking to his guy for a few days now, originally we contacted each other to help each other improve our language skills on our university language exchange website. We've got on quite well so far and seem for have a couple of common interests. We've only been talking through WhatsApp and university email. I know he's definitely a student too since we met on our university website and the accommodation he is staying at is only for students (in order to stay there you need to verify you are a student. I know this because I had planned to stay this year at one point). We were talking about Chinese cuisine (since he is a Chinese student) and I had mentioned previously that I had never tried Chinese food. He had mentioned that he sometimes cooks but not too often. He showed be a Chinese "hot-pot pan" he had and said I would be more than welcome to come to his apartment and dine with him anytime. I assumed he was just being nice and didn't mean it so I thanked him. Anyway just now, he has sent me a text asking if I would like to come over next week and eat hot pot with him. I would really like to. should I go ? We've never seen each others faces and have only spoken on text/email. Growing up in a south asian household my parents were strict and I was always taught about the dangers of trusting others and stuff like that. I wasn't really even allowed out the house often when I lived at home even at the age of 18 (I'm still 18). In fact my mother always sends me articles of murders or stabbings or rapes within the area which I assume is her way of scarring me into not trusting others. She says she just wants me to be cautious and thats why she sends them to me . I'm sure if I asked my mother whether I should go she would probably say something like "what if he poisons you?". Maybe I'm overthinking this but I would really appreciate any advice . Do I go ? He seems a lot nice compared to other Chinese students I've spoken to. Any advice ?
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gtty123
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Just saying - horror movies foreshadow stuff.
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Anonymous #1
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Maybe don’t go to there house straight away? Like meet him for lunch first in a public place.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by studioso)
I've been speaking to his guy for a few days now, originally we contacted each other to help each other improve our language skills on our university language exchange website. We've got on quite well so far and seem for have a couple of common interests. We've only been talking through WhatsApp and university email. I know he's definitely a student too since we met on our university website and the accommodation he is staying at is only for students (in order to stay there you need to verify you are a student. I know this because I had planned to stay this year at one point). We were talking about Chinese cuisine (since he is a Chinese student) and I had mentioned previously that I had never tried Chinese food. He had mentioned that he sometimes cooks but not too often. He showed be a Chinese "hot-pot pan" he had and said I would be more than welcome to come to his apartment and dine with him anytime. I assumed he was just being nice and didn't mean it so I thanked him. Anyway just now, he has sent me a text asking if I would like to come over next week and eat hot pot with him. I would really like to. should I go ? We've never seen each others faces and have only spoken on text/email. Growing up in a south asian household my parents were strict and I was always taught about the dangers of trusting others and stuff like that. I wasn't really even allowed out the house often when I lived at home even at the age of 18 (I'm still 18). In fact my mother always sends me articles of murders or stabbings or rapes within the area which I assume is her way of scarring me into not trusting others. She says she just wants me to be cautious and thats why she sends them to me . I'm sure if I asked my mother whether I should go she would probably say something like "what if he poisons you?". Maybe I'm overthinking this but I would really appreciate any advice . Do I go ? He seems a lot nice compared to other Chinese students I've spoken to. Any advice ?
i'd be suggesting meeting in a public place first, it's not as bad if you know their flatmates would be there, still not ideal if you've never seen what they look like though.
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Bagarigak
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Meet up somewhere in public first (cafe/park etc).

You don't know him well enough to just go round to his house at this moment in time.
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DiddyDec
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Always meet new people in public first.
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Muttley79
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(Original post by studioso)
I've been speaking to his guy for a few days now, originally we contacted each other to help each other improve our language skills on our university language exchange website. We've got on quite well so far and seem for have a couple of common interests. We've only been talking through WhatsApp and university email. I know he's definitely a student too since we met on our university website and the accommodation he is staying at is only for students (in order to stay there you need to verify you are a student. I know this because I had planned to stay this year at one point). We were talking about Chinese cuisine (since he is a Chinese student) and I had mentioned previously that I had never tried Chinese food. He had mentioned that he sometimes cooks but not too often. He showed be a Chinese "hot-pot pan" he had and said I would be more than welcome to come to his apartment and dine with him anytime. I assumed he was just being nice and didn't mean it so I thanked him. Anyway just now, he has sent me a text asking if I would like to come over next week and eat hot pot with him. I would really like to. should I go ? We've never seen each others faces and have only spoken on text/email. Growing up in a south asian household my parents were strict and I was always taught about the dangers of trusting others and stuff like that. I wasn't really even allowed out the house often when I lived at home even at the age of 18 (I'm still 18). In fact my mother always sends me articles of murders or stabbings or rapes within the area which I assume is her way of scarring me into not trusting others. She says she just wants me to be cautious and thats why she sends them to me . I'm sure if I asked my mother whether I should go she would probably say something like "what if he poisons you?". Maybe I'm overthinking this but I would really appreciate any advice . Do I go ? He seems a lot nice compared to other Chinese students I've spoken to. Any advice ?
Meet in public first - you have no idea who he really is.
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Anonymous #2
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I mean Chinese generally eat communally i had chinese flatmates and they were always inviting me to eat and would cook for me.

But since you're unsure suggest going out for a coffee first or something so you can verify him, or ask where he lives and see if it's a registered accommodation. Tbh if he's a real student it's unlikely he is dangerous however until you're sure you won't be comfortable.

You can say something like 'that would be nice to do sometime soon, how about we (grab a coffee, go for a drink/walk, explore campus etc) first.
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999tigger
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(Original post by studioso)
I've been speaking to his guy for a few days now, originally we contacted each other to help each other improve our language skills on our university language exchange website. We've got on quite well so far and seem for have a couple of common interests. We've only been talking through WhatsApp and university email. I know he's definitely a student too since we met on our university website and the accommodation he is staying at is only for students (in order to stay there you need to verify you are a student. I know this because I had planned to stay this year at one point). We were talking about Chinese cuisine (since he is a Chinese student) and I had mentioned previously that I had never tried Chinese food. He had mentioned that he sometimes cooks but not too often. He showed be a Chinese "hot-pot pan" he had and said I would be more than welcome to come to his apartment and dine with him anytime. I assumed he was just being nice and didn't mean it so I thanked him. Anyway just now, he has sent me a text asking if I would like to come over next week and eat hot pot with him. I would really like to. should I go ? We've never seen each others faces and have only spoken on text/email. Growing up in a south asian household my parents were strict and I was always taught about the dangers of trusting others and stuff like that. I wasn't really even allowed out the house often when I lived at home even at the age of 18 (I'm still 18). In fact my mother always sends me articles of murders or stabbings or rapes within the area which I assume is her way of scarring me into not trusting others. She says she just wants me to be cautious and thats why she sends them to me . I'm sure if I asked my mother whether I should go she would probably say something like "what if he poisons you?". Maybe I'm overthinking this but I would really appreciate any advice . Do I go ? He seems a lot nice compared to other Chinese students I've spoken to. Any advice ?
Find a hot pot place locally and go there. That is only being cautious.
Tell someone where and when you are going.
Confirm name and which course he is on.

More disturbed about your bad experience with Chinese students? At this stage they normally stick to expats like glue and go around in packs.
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Kerzen
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Do you both study in a town/city which has places to eat which do Chinese food?
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studioso
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His apartment is a studio accommodation so he has his own kitchen. But anyway thanks for all of your advice ! I will ask him out to eat at a restaurant first or something and then I'll decide. Thank you
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studioso
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Find a hot pot place locally and go there. That is only being cautious.
Tell someone where and when you are going.
Confirm name and which course he is on.

More disturbed about your bad experience with Chinese students? At this stage they normally stick to expats like glue and go around in packs.
thanks I definitely will try that. I already have his name and course. he is at the same uni as me but masters whilst I am a first year undergrad. Haha my experience hasn't been too bad with Chinese students, it is just that they are really reserved so they can come off as really arrogant and uninterested from time to time. But this guy however seemed totally different, a different way of thinking, more positive and friendly.
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studioso
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(Original post by Kerzen)
Do you both study in a town/city which has places to eat which do Chinese food?
We do. However I'm just not comfortable where there's a large group of chines people since they often keep staring at me which makes me uncomfortable. Most likely because I'm a non-chinese in a full Chinese environment .
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Kerzen
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Something I would suggest is that you check out places to which you can go on a Saturday lunchtime. You get a different ambiance in places at lunchtime and I often find getting something to eat with someone at that time on a Saturday more fun. It's certainly the case in London.

The ideal would be somewhere which does Chinese food and where you can sit outside. Fun, casual, that kind of feel.
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mgi
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(Original post by studioso)
I've been speaking to his guy for a few days now, originally we contacted each other to help each other improve our language skills on our university language exchange website. We've got on quite well so far and seem for have a couple of common interests. We've only been talking through WhatsApp and university email. I know he's definitely a student too since we met on our university website and the accommodation he is staying at is only for students (in order to stay there you need to verify you are a student. I know this because I had planned to stay this year at one point). We were talking about Chinese cuisine (since he is a Chinese student) and I had mentioned previously that I had never tried Chinese food. He had mentioned that he sometimes cooks but not too often. He showed be a Chinese "hot-pot pan" he had and said I would be more than welcome to come to his apartment and dine with him anytime. I assumed he was just being nice and didn't mean it so I thanked him. Anyway just now, he has sent me a text asking if I would like to come over next week and eat hot pot with him. I would really like to. should I go ? We've never seen each others faces and have only spoken on text/email. Growing up in a south asian household my parents were strict and I was always taught about the dangers of trusting others and stuff like that. I wasn't really even allowed out the house often when I lived at home even at the age of 18 (I'm still 18). In fact my mother always sends me articles of murders or stabbings or rapes within the area which I assume is her way of scarring me into not trusting others. She says she just wants me to be cautious and thats why she sends them to me . I'm sure if I asked my mother whether I should go she would probably say something like "what if he poisons you?". Maybe I'm overthinking this but I would really appreciate any advice . Do I go ? He seems a lot nice compared to other Chinese students I've spoken to. Any advice ?
Yes, slow down! Meet in a publuc place for a drink or a meal. You have to , for your own safety, figure people out first!
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