Im in shock and very hurt right now

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
A family friend is staying with us and earlier he attempted to take his own life by overdosing. I came home at about lunchtime (1-2 pm) and found him stumbling about and not well, he was close to passing out so I did what my Grandma always taught me to do; I immediately rang the ambulance (my neighbour called the police too, and the police were very helpful) I'm not sure why he did what he did, because it wasn't my place to ask. I don't know him very well at all, but I know he must have been in a lot of emotional pain.

Anyway, I've basically been called all sorts of nasty names by my parents because all I can think of was my own welfare and mental safety after witnessing what I witnessed. Their way of reasoning is I should shut up and deal with it, I have no one else to talk to so I thought I'd just spill my thoughts out on this platform. This isn't me bashing my parents in any way, but surely they should realise that things like this have an impact on others. I'm kinda confused and I'm in shock right now. I don't feel safe at home either

I'm sorry, I know this isn't probably what everyone wants to read I just needed to get this off my shoulders and share it in a safe space and community

Be safe everyone
Remember; Hands, Face and Space
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thepunmaster.e
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#2
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#2
Hi, I hope you're ok. You did the right thing by calling an ambulance - I hope the person is ok. It's normal to be in shock after witnessing something like that, theres no shame in talking to a friend, teacher or even venting on here about it.
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5hyl33n
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
A family friend is staying with us and earlier he attempted to take his own life by overdosing. I came home at about lunchtime (1-2 pm) and found him stumbling about and not well, he was close to passing out so I did what my Grandma always taught me to do; I immediately rang the ambulance (my neighbour called the police too, and the police were very helpful) I'm not sure why he did what he did, because it wasn't my place to ask. I don't know him very well at all, but I know he must have been in a lot of emotional pain.

Anyway, I've basically been called all sorts of nasty names by my parents because all I can think of was my own welfare and mental safety after witnessing what I witnessed. Their way of reasoning is I should shut up and deal with it, I have no one else to talk to so I thought I'd just spill my thoughts out on this platform. This isn't me bashing my parents in any way, but surely they should realise that things like this have an impact on others. I'm kinda confused and I'm in shock right now. I don't feel safe at home either

I'm sorry, I know this isn't probably what everyone wants to read I just needed to get this off my shoulders and share it in a safe space and community

Be safe everyone
Remember; Hands, Face and Space
Your parents are being ridiculous (no offence!)

Please do not bottle up any of your feelings. We all here for you on TSR. :hugs:

Well done on taking the right precautions. I hope your friend is getting more help as well to deal with his feelings.
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TheStarboy
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So your parents wanted you to indirectly kill someone? Says a lot about your parents then.
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2500_2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
A family friend is staying with us and earlier he attempted to take his own life by overdosing. I came home at about lunchtime (1-2 pm) and found him stumbling about and not well, he was close to passing out so I did what my Grandma always taught me to do; I immediately rang the ambulance (my neighbour called the police too, and the police were very helpful) I'm not sure why he did what he did, because it wasn't my place to ask. I don't know him very well at all, but I know he must have been in a lot of emotional pain.

Anyway, I've basically been called all sorts of nasty names by my parents because all I can think of was my own welfare and mental safety after witnessing what I witnessed. Their way of reasoning is I should shut up and deal with it, I have no one else to talk to so I thought I'd just spill my thoughts out on this platform. This isn't me bashing my parents in any way, but surely they should realise that things like this have an impact on others. I'm kinda confused and I'm in shock right now. I don't feel safe at home either

I'm sorry, I know this isn't probably what everyone wants to read I just needed to get this off my shoulders and share it in a safe space and community

Be safe everyone
Remember; Hands, Face and Space
Well done for doing the right thing.

Your parents are scared and in the immediate aftermath of something like this they will have a lot of arrange and organise and they'll be very worried about their friend. I'm guessing they were (not very well) trying to communicate to you that they need to concentrate on what he needs today.

Use TSR and your friends to talk to for now, and then when things are a little calmer, try your parents again.

Is he OK?

Why do you feel unsafe?
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by TheStarboy)
So your parents wanted you to indirectly kill someone? Says a lot about your parents then.
No, my parents want me to shut up and get over that someone almost died in front of me. They say he's the one who needed help

And I respect that, I really do. They don't know that I've witnessed a suicide before and it left me unable to sleep for weeks
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 2500_2)
Well done for doing the right thing.

Your parents are scared and in the immediate aftermath of something like this they will have a lot of arrange and organise and they'll be very worried about their friend. I'm guessing they were (not very well) trying to communicate to you that they need to concentrate on what he needs today.

Use TSR and your friends to talk to for now, and then when things are a little calmer, try your parents again.

Is he OK?

Why do you feel unsafe?
Why do I feel unsafe? Because someone tried to commit suicide in a place that's meant to be a safe haven for me

I don't know if he's okay or not. But he's safe and that's the main thing. I've asked my parents not to talk about it around me. I've witnessed a suicide once before when I was eleven
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by thepunmaster.e)
Hi, I hope you're ok. You did the right thing by calling an ambulance - I hope the person is ok. It's normal to be in shock after witnessing something like that, theres no shame in talking to a friend, teacher or even venting on here about it.
I'm feeling a little better. I ordered myself McDonald's as a treat.

I don't know if he's okay, I just know he's safe. Honestly, this has changed the way I look at this Man. I didn't know him very well but I admired him because he looked after my Dad when they were kids and now I can't help but feel that he ruined some innocent part of me that was still there (I know that's a dumb thought. Im sorry it sounds so harsh)
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2500_2
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Why do I feel unsafe? Because someone tried to commit suicide in a place that's meant to be a safe haven for me

I don't know if he's okay or not. But he's safe and that's the main thing. I've asked my parents not to talk about it around me. I've witnessed a suicide once before when I was eleven
Unsafe seems an unusual response (worried/unsettled/anxious by the incident rather than the place would be what I'd expect).
It's worth trying to get some support about the previous incident.
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LovelyMrFox
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Just because the family friend is going through something worse doesnt mean your mental health is any less valid, your parents are being ridiculous.
You did the right thing calling an ambulance for him, you could have possibly saved his life :hugs: There is lots of community support available on TSR or if you need it you can always call a helpline, if you've ever heard of Samaritans.
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by 2500_2)
Unsafe seems an unusual response (worried/unsettled/anxious by the incident rather than the place would be what I'd expect).
It's worth trying to get some support about the previous incident.
Feeling unsafe is a perfectly normal response to an event like this. You dont expect your home, a place of safety and comfort, to have something like this happen in it
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Anonymous #1
#12
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(Original post by 2500_2)
Unsafe seems an unusual response (worried/unsettled/anxious by the incident rather than the place would be what I'd expect).
It's worth trying to get some support about the previous incident.
So now you're trying to tell me how to feel? Cool. I didn't come here for you to do that. I came here to tell someone I feel like crap, I feel unsafe because someone I don't know very well has come along with his selfish motives and ruined my only safe haven.

I AM ALLOWED TO FEEL UNSAFE. My safe space has been tainted by someone attempting suicide

Thank you for your input. I don't need it anymore
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bones-mccoy
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So now you're trying to tell me how to feel? Cool. I didn't come here for you to do that. I came here to tell someone I feel like crap, I feel unsafe because someone I don't know very well has come along with his selfish motives and ruined my only safe haven.

I AM ALLOWED TO FEEL UNSAFE. My safe space has been tainted by someone attempting suicide

Thank you for your input. I don't need it anymore
He was staying with you and felt the only way to deal with his life was to end it. I understand you're upset and you obviously need to talk to someone about this but you need to realise it's nothing personal. He didn't do this to hurt you.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
A family friend is staying with us and earlier he attempted to take his own life by overdosing. I came home at about lunchtime (1-2 pm) and found him stumbling about and not well, he was close to passing out so I did what my Grandma always taught me to do; I immediately rang the ambulance (my neighbour called the police too, and the police were very helpful) I'm not sure why he did what he did, because it wasn't my place to ask. I don't know him very well at all, but I know he must have been in a lot of emotional pain.

Anyway, I've basically been called all sorts of nasty names by my parents because all I can think of was my own welfare and mental safety after witnessing what I witnessed. Their way of reasoning is I should shut up and deal with it, I have no one else to talk to so I thought I'd just spill my thoughts out on this platform. This isn't me bashing my parents in any way, but surely they should realise that things like this have an impact on others. I'm kinda confused and I'm in shock right now. I don't feel safe at home either

I'm sorry, I know this isn't probably what everyone wants to read I just needed to get this off my shoulders and share it in a safe space and community

Be safe everyone
Remember; Hands, Face and Space
(Original post by thepunmaster.e)
Hi, I hope you're ok. You did the right thing by calling an ambulance - I hope the person is ok. It's normal to be in shock after witnessing something like that, theres no shame in talking to a friend, teacher or even venting on here about it.
You could call the samiritans? your parents have no clue about stress disorders caused by shock! see help somewhere apart from them.
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SoulfulTwist
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm feeling a little better. I ordered myself McDonald's as a treat.

I don't know if he's okay, I just know he's safe. Honestly, this has changed the way I look at this Man. I didn't know him very well but I admired him because he looked after my Dad when they were kids and now I can't help but feel that he ruined some innocent part of me that was still there (I know that's a dumb thought. Im sorry it sounds so harsh)
I understand
In a way like a lot of us, we think nothing bad can happen in our home until we get a reality check and for a while we feel unsafe.
It is a bit like when we are young we think our parents can do no wrong but as grow older we see they are humans too.
We have to understand that everyone has struggles, not everyone is the way we actually see them

I think you need a bit of time to come to terms with what has happened and to feel angry that you had to witness it is normal, not a selfish thing. Even to think his suicidal attempt was selfish is not entirely wrong.

In before anyone comes at me, yes I have been suicidal and yes it is a selfish act, a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and permanent pain for those left behind.
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Muttley79
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#16
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm feeling a little better. I ordered myself McDonald's as a treat.

I don't know if he's okay, I just know he's safe. Honestly, this has changed the way I look at this Man. I didn't know him very well but I admired him because he looked after my Dad when they were kids and now I can't help but feel that he ruined some innocent part of me that was still there (I know that's a dumb thought. Im sorry it sounds so harsh)
You handled it extremely well - and I'm sorry your parents aren't realising how traumatic this must have been and, indeed, still is. Do you have someone you can talk to at school/university? You need support and perhaps they can also reach out to your parents.

Take care
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mgi
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
I understand
In a way like a lot of us, we think nothing bad can happen in our home until we get a reality check and for a while we feel unsafe.
It is a bit like when we are young we think our parents can do no wrong but as grow older we see they are humans too.
We have to understand that everyone has struggles, not everyone is the way we actually see them

I think you need a bit of time to come to terms with what has happened and to feel angry that you had to witness it is normal, not a selfish thing. Even to think his suicidal attempt was selfish is not entirely wrong.

In before anyone comes at me, yes I have been suicidal and yes it is a selfish act, a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and permanent pain for those left behind.
This may all be true! There would be no point in attacking someone who is suicidal- clearly they have arrived at what they see as a hopelessly dark place!
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SoulfulTwist
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(Original post by mgi)
This may all be true! There would be no point in attacking someone who is suicidal- clearly they have arrived at what they see as a hopelessly dark place!
:confused: Are you agreeing with me or are you saying my statement is 'attacking' someone who is suicidal?
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mgi
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
:confused: Are you agreeing with me or are you saying my statement is 'attacking' someone who is suicidal?
I am absolutely agreeing with you. Suicidal people need our care and support. absolutely.
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Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#20
Hi all. OP here

So update on this situation; It came to blows and I had to move out

I looked into therapy (It's not cheap, I can tell you that) because the situation brought back nightmares I fought to keep away for a very long time. And my parents made fun of me for wanting to talk to someone about how I was feeling. My therapist is lovely and has put me in touch with someone who helped me move out. Right now I am living with a friend's parents and they are supporting me. I don't know how long I have to go to therapy - Maybe until the nightmares stop, but I am safe and that's the main point

Thank you for letting me get this all off my chest. I'm thankful that this site exists and my parents don't know about it
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