How to stop jealousy

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Anonymous #1
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My boyfriend has gone to university this year and I’m currently in the last year of sixth form. I can’t handle the jealousy. He’s making plans with them and drinking with them. He shares a flat with 5 girls which I’m extremely unhappy with. And it doesn’t help that I saw messages of him arranging a prostitute, and a tinder code for account sign up. The arrangement of a hooker was a uni joke and tinder was to look at his flatmates account. I don’t know if I can believe this. He also isn’t telling his flatmates about me, saying ‘I’m sleeping’ while in reality he’s calling me, or ‘I’m with family’ while he’s staying round mine. This jealousy is really hurting me, should I just end the relationship? Should I insist that if he loves me he should stop doing things with his flatmates?
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bored_user:)
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Well most relationships like this dont last. It's best you leave.
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Anonymous #1
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GabiAbi84
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Well you certainly don’t insist that “if he loves you he’ll do what you tell him” -that’s controlling and Not a healthy relationship.
Nor is it healthy to be consumed with jealousy.
It is up to you whether the relationship is worth trying to work through your jealousy or not.
It is odd that he hasn’t told his flat mates about you though-has he given any reason why?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
Well you certainly don’t insist that “if he loves you he’ll do what you tell him” -that’s controlling and Not a healthy relationship.
Nor is it healthy to be consumed with jealousy.
It is up to you whether the relationship is worth trying to work through your jealousy or not.
It is odd that he hasn’t told his flat mates about you though-has he given any reason why?
I want to work through the jealousy and have been trying but it doesn’t seem to be going away. His reason was that he didn’t want to make a fuss or something. I know it’s not healthy to be jealous but there’s nothing I can do about it
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LovelyMrFox
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Calm down a bit. Dont threaten him with "if you really love me...", thats controlling.
Hes in uni, hes going to have fun with his friends. If the tinder joke was too much for you ( which I see why it would ), tell him that.
Well why are you jealous first off? Are you jealous of the friends or are you jealous of the fact that your boyfriend is having fun without you? Or something else?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Calm down a bit. Dont threaten him with "if you really love me...", thats controlling.
Hes in uni, hes going to have fun with his friends. If the tinder joke was too much for you ( which I see why it would ), tell him that.
Well why are you jealous first off? Are you jealous of the friends or are you jealous of the fact that your boyfriend is having fun without you? Or something else?
Jealous of friends, having fun without me and able to go to uni
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Jealous of friends, having fun without me and able to go to uni
Well causing yourself to be a wreck over others having fun isnt helping your issue. Put your effort into having your own fun. People are going to have fun without you in life, thats just the way it is and its really not a big deal if you think about it.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My boyfriend has gone to university this year and I’m currently in the last year of sixth form. I can’t handle the jealousy. He’s making plans with them and drinking with them. He shares a flat with 5 girls which I’m extremely unhappy with. And it doesn’t help that I saw messages of him arranging a prostitute, and a tinder code for account sign up. The arrangement of a hooker was a uni joke and tinder was to look at his flatmates account. I don’t know if I can believe this. He also isn’t telling his flatmates about me, saying ‘I’m sleeping’ while in reality he’s calling me, or ‘I’m with family’ while he’s staying round mine. This jealousy is really hurting me, should I just end the relationship? Should I insist that if he loves me he should stop doing things with his flatmates?
Him not tellling his flatmates about you, is a red flag in my opinion.
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