Feeling Way too anxious about going to university.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
To start, I've always been academic and I've enjoyed my time at school and sixth form.
But the thought of university is making me a bit nervous.

Firstly, I was originally going to commute to uni but after some family issues, I had to find an accommodation last minute [Which i didnt want to do].
I joined a groupchat with my housemates and so far they seem nice, but most of them seem like avid party-goers and alcoholics whereas I don't really enjoy drinking or partying.
I'm moving into my accommodation on Thursday, the day before my induction to the course.

Secondly, I feel like I'll be quite isolated. Most of the people on my course seem to enjoy being extroverted and going out whereas I quite like to stay in my room and chill. Idk, what to do.

Thirdly, I'm so so so socially anxious. I get extremely nervous when talking to new people and get super anxious afterwards [which is when the "what if" questions start rolling in].

I just feel so alone man
I was thinking of joining societies to meet like minded people but I just don't know where to start and whether I would have the energy for it.
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minhaj777
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
I had induction today at UEL. Felt like such a loner sigh
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zombgum
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#3
Report 1 month ago
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It'll get easier, promise. I'm also the same - socially anxious and painfully shy at times. I'm more of a homebody, where I prefer to chill in my own space and chat to mates on Discord.

My flatmates are really nice, but they're more into going out and drinking/partying till late. It's not really my thing, but I was honest and told them that I'm sorry I haven't spent too much time with them but I'm a bit homesick/shy and not really a party animal. They told me that it's fine and that I'm welcome to hang whenever I'm ready. Just smile and say hi to them when you see them around - be friendly and open.

You don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, and don't feel bad for not jumping straight into socialising. A lot of emphasis is put on the party nature of uni, but there are a significant chunk of us who don't fit into that group (and that's fine)! I found that hard to reconcile with because I felt like there was something wrong with me for not being into all that, but it's normal. Wishing you all the best of luck.
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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#4
Report 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To start, I've always been academic and I've enjoyed my time at school and sixth form.
But the thought of university is making me a bit nervous.

Firstly, I was originally going to commute to uni but after some family issues, I had to find an accommodation last minute [Which i didnt want to do].
I joined a groupchat with my housemates and so far they seem nice, but most of them seem like avid party-goers and alcoholics whereas I don't really enjoy drinking or partying.
I'm moving into my accommodation on Thursday, the day before my induction to the course.

Secondly, I feel like I'll be quite isolated. Most of the people on my course seem to enjoy being extroverted and going out whereas I quite like to stay in my room and chill. Idk, what to do.

Thirdly, I'm so so so socially anxious. I get extremely nervous when talking to new people and get super anxious afterwards [which is when the "what if" questions start rolling in].

I just feel so alone man
I was thinking of joining societies to meet like minded people but I just don't know where to start and whether I would have the energy for it.
Hiya!

University is a very daunting and nerve wracking time so don't worry as there are so many people who feel the same as you! Firstly, I think that living in halls will be really exciting. Living with new people is a totally new experience that is great for building confidence and independence so it will be really valuable. I know it can seem everyone can be crazy party goers but with new lockdown restrictions there will be limits to what people can do. I recommend be honest with who you meet and say if you want to have a night in, find free things to do near by (parks, beaches, museums) and ask to go for days out with them to get to know them better, and always post on your group chat when you need to go food shopping or to wilko or anything as you can all go together. They will all be feeling similar to you so be honest with them and stay true to yourself.

Secondly, join your group chat for your halls of accommodation and also for your course. This way you can meet new people but also stay updated with all your assignments. You may have the occasional face to face lecture, or it could all be virtual but this doesn't mean you cant make friends. You can message people on the chat when you're having a virtual lecture and can always message someone after to keep talking to someone. Your lecturers are aware that people want to make friends so will make sure you can.

Societies are a great way to meet people who have similar interests to you, so look through your university's website to see what they have available! They will host virtual meetings and they will have lots of ice breakers which will be perfect for meeting new people! Use an "open door" policy in your house, and take a doorstop with you to uni and when your room is open your housemates know they can walk in and say hi and that you want to chat, but when your door is shut they know you don't. I did this and it really helps when first meeting people and makes everyone feel more welcomed. Keep in contact with your friends and family from home as well, they're a great support network.

Push yourself put your comfort zone and have the best time! Sam- Official Student Rep
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Emmerage
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#5
Report 4 weeks ago
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Try not to think of everything at once - like, societies are a great idea! Avoid jumping to the conclusion that you'd find them too much before you even get there

There a lot of societies and groups for people who are more socially anxious, and not as into partying. My local uni has knit-ins, gaming nights, pumpkin carving events, film and TV nights, casual sports groups (like running groups, or swimming groups), etc.. There will be lots of other students like you around, even if you need to find them outside your accomodation.

Don't worry, not everyone at uni is a party-hard - it just seems like that first few weeks because a lot of people talk it up. After a little while, people settle and stop wanting to party so hard once they get used to being away from their parents and having to be the one who cleans up the mess the next day
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