I don't know if I can do this

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ly26franc
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Hey,
I've just started my course, some online, some in uni.
My other half has some health problems and today, my first day, he comes down with a migraine and wants to stay in bed all day. normally I would be ok with this but I have had online lessons all morning and uni all afternoon and have to also sort kids for school, sort out pets, sort out food for tonight along with usual cleaning and stuff. when he's like this he's like it for days on end where he will stay in bed. how are my supposed to cope with juggling everything and do uni work and make sure he is ok.
I may sound selfish here but I feel like everything I do or want to do is always put on hold because he ends up sick and I have to look after him 😞
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freespeech102
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(Original post by ly26franc)
Hey,
I've just started my course, some online, some in uni.
My other half has some health problems and today, my first day, he comes down with a migraine and wants to stay in bed all day. normally I would be ok with this but I have had online lessons all morning and uni all afternoon and have to also sort kids for school, sort out pets, sort out food for tonight along with usual cleaning and stuff. when he's like this he's like it for days on end where he will stay in bed. how are my supposed to cope with juggling everything and do uni work and make sure he is ok.
I may sound selfish here but I feel like everything I do or want to do is always put on hold because he ends up sick and I have to look after him 😞
Right. In order to provide a more relevant answer, we need to know about the situation you are in. How old are you? What is your financial position?
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ly26franc
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Hi, I'm 38 and I don't work. other half is considered disable
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Hiro2468
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Was he disabled before or after you guys met?
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ly26franc
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(Original post by Hiro2468)
Was he disabled before or after you guys met?
he had minor ailments when we first met but over the last 4 years he's progressively got worse
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Hiro2468
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(Original post by ly26franc)
he had minor ailments when we first met but over the last 4 years he's progressively got worse
Just to be clear is he your husband? And what sort of advice are you looking for? Is finance a problem, is it possible to get a carer?
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Ki Yung Na
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(Original post by ly26franc)
Hey,
I've just started my course, some online, some in uni.
My other half has some health problems and today, my first day, he comes down with a migraine and wants to stay in bed all day. normally I would be ok with this but I have had online lessons all morning and uni all afternoon and have to also sort kids for school, sort out pets, sort out food for tonight along with usual cleaning and stuff. when he's like this he's like it for days on end where he will stay in bed. how are my supposed to cope with juggling everything and do uni work and make sure he is ok.
I may sound selfish here but I feel like everything I do or want to do is always put on hold because he ends up sick and I have to look after him 😞
You’re not being selfish. But you guys have to work together on this and arrange a compromise that will help with both your intentions or goals. In this case; I’m guessing you both want for you to get this degree??
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ly26franc
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(Original post by Hiro2468)
Just to be clear is he your husband? And what sort of advice are you looking for? Is finance a problem, is it possible to get a carer?
I'm not really after advice as such I just wanted to vent and wonder if I was being selfish. I feel guilty for wanting to go to uni and just want to stop that feeling. I think I'm so used to having everyone else to think about that now I'm doing something for me it carries an awful amount of guilt with it
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ly26franc
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(Original post by Ki Yung Na)
You’re not being selfish. But you guys have to work together on this and arrange a compromise that will help with both your intentions or goals. In this case; I’m guessing you both want for you to get this degree??
thank you, yes he is very supportive it's just my own insecurities getting in the way and I worry that he really wants to tell me not to do it but won't if that makes sense
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Ki Yung Na
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(Original post by ly26franc)
thank you, yes he is very supportive it's just my own insecurities getting in the way and I worry that he really wants to tell me not to do it but won't if that makes sense
You need to talk it out? Get a clearer picture of what you both think about the idea or goal. And then how you both feel about it and why you feel that way about it.
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ly26franc
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thank you
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Ki Yung Na
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You’re welcome, all th best. It will work out!
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freespeech102
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(Original post by ly26franc)
Hi, I'm 38 and I don't work. other half is considered disable
Right. And what did you do between the ages of 18 and 38? I commend you for pursuing education and increasing your quality of life by getting a degree, to which ultimately increases your job prospects and starting salary. Nonetheless, was it wise to have children and pets if your financial situation is not stable? Not only is this unfair to you, as it will increase your workload and stress, but it is also unfair on the children, since their quality of life is impacted by your financial situation. If I do mis-interpret your situation, please do tell me.

You simply need to plan out your day. For example, I wake up at 4:30am everyday and I go to bed at 7pm, to which I ultimately sleep at 8:15pm. I wake up at 4:30am and after 5 minutes of allowing myself to be relieved of tiredness, I go to the bathroom to urinate and perform oral care. After that, I clean my room by vacuuming and spraying all of the work surfaces. At this point, it will be around 4:50am, to which I then do 2 hours of language study. At 7am, I go to the gym for 45 minutes, and so once I come home at around 7:50am, I then have a shower and wear my clothes for the day, which is a suit. This is done by 8:25am. At this time, I then read the morning briefing by the Economist on the Espresso app. At 8:30am until 9am, I play on the ukelele. From 9am to 5pm, which is a standard work day for most, I do my university work. This is writing up lectures, seminars and independent reading. I am planning on completing my degree within 2 years, and although this is optimistic, I believe I can do it, since I do Philosophy, and so 50% of first year content is coursework, and same with second year, while third year is 100% coursework. At 12pm, I eat lunch. At 11am, I put all of my food in a rice cooker, since this is all I need to make my meals, and let my food cook for an hour to be ready by 12pm. I either eat lentils, walnuts, sunflower seeds and cavolo nero, or chickpeas, flaxseed, brazil nuts and spinach. Once it is 5pm, I go cycling for 30 minutes. Once it is 5:35pm, the next hour is my free time, to which I either plan my work for the next day, or devote this to other committments. At 6:45pm, I do yoga, which is simply 6 stretches at 30 seconds a stretch. Also, I do this in the morning before I start my language study too, so I forgot to add that. At around 6:50pm, I get ready for bed, which is simply skin care and oral care. At 7pm, I go to bed with my e-reader, where I read 100 pages every night. I can read 100 pages in an hour, since my reading speed has increased over time. Initially, it took me 1 hour and 15 minutes to read 100 pages. Once I finish 100 pages, I go to sleep.

The only thing that changes in my days is the sport, where I may do table tennis or another sport instead of cycling. Also, during my rest day from the gym (as I go to the gym 6 times a week), I go running. Also, during my free time, I will often go to a museum, gallery, a theatre if there are tickets, a green space or a research institution to carry out some case studies.

I hope this gave you an insight on how to manage your time.
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Surnia
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(Original post by freespeech102)
Right. And what did you do between the ages of 18 and 38? I commend you for pursuing education and increasing your quality of life by getting a degree, to which ultimately increases your job prospects and starting salary. Nonetheless, was it wise to have children and pets if your financial situation is not stable? Not only is this unfair to you, as it will increase your workload and stress, but it is also unfair on the children, since their quality of life is impacted by your financial situation. If I do mis-interpret your situation, please do tell me.

You simply need to plan out your day. For example, I wake up at 4:30am everyday and I go to bed at 7pm, to which I ultimately sleep at 8:15pm. I wake up at 4:30am and after 5 minutes of allowing myself to be relieved of tiredness, I go to the bathroom to urinate and perform oral care. After that, I clean my room by vacuuming and spraying all of the work surfaces. At this point, it will be around 4:50am, to which I then do 2 hours of language study. At 7am, I go to the gym for 45 minutes, and so once I come home at around 7:50am, I then have a shower and wear my clothes for the day, which is a suit. This is done by 8:25am. At this time, I then read the morning briefing by the Economist on the Espresso app. At 8:30am until 9am, I play on the ukelele. From 9am to 5pm, which is a standard work day for most, I do my university work. This is writing up lectures, seminars and independent reading. I am planning on completing my degree within 2 years, and although this is optimistic, I believe I can do it, since I do Philosophy, and so 50% of first year content is coursework, and same with second year, while third year is 100% coursework. At 12pm, I eat lunch. At 11am, I put all of my food in a rice cooker, since this is all I need to make my meals, and let my food cook for an hour to be ready by 12pm. I either eat lentils, walnuts, sunflower seeds and cavolo nero, or chickpeas, flaxseed, brazil nuts and spinach. Once it is 5pm, I go cycling for 30 minutes. Once it is 5:35pm, the next hour is my free time, to which I either plan my work for the next day, or devote this to other committments. At 6:45pm, I do yoga, which is simply 6 stretches at 30 seconds a stretch. Also, I do this in the morning before I start my language study too, so I forgot to add that. At around 6:50pm, I get ready for bed, which is simply skin care and oral care. At 7pm, I go to bed with my e-reader, where I read 100 pages every night. I can read 100 pages in an hour, since my reading speed has increased over time. Initially, it took me 1 hour and 15 minutes to read 100 pages. Once I finish 100 pages, I go to sleep.

The only thing that changes in my days is the sport, where I may do table tennis or another sport instead of cycling. Also, during my rest day from the gym (as I go to the gym 6 times a week), I go running. Also, during my free time, I will often go to a museum, gallery, a theatre if there are tickets, a green space or a research institution to carry out some case studies.

I hope this gave you an insight on how to manage your time.
That's how you manage your time. I assume you're single with no dependents, unlike the OP who has a sick partner, children and pets to look after.
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ly26franc
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(Original post by Surnia)
That's how you manage your time. I assume you're single with no dependents, unlike the OP who has a sick partner, children and pets to look after.
thank you, I was wondering why my day didn't look like that 🤣
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Surnia
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(Original post by ly26franc)
thank you, I was wondering why my day didn't look like that 🤣
Are there any family or neighbours you could get to help in any way? Not being presumptuous, I know money could be an issue, but are there any young people that could help with the pets (clean rabbit hutches, walk dogs, if that's what you've got?). Make meals in advance and freeze so there's always something in, anyone who could help with shopping, or prepare some meals for you? How old are your children, just wondering what they can do to help?
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