scared i won’t make friends at uni

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jiminnn
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so i’ll be starting law degree this september at uni of leicester however i’m terrified i won’t make any friends.

i’m staying at home so i won’t have the opportunity to have flat tae’s as friends. and i’m an introvert so i feel very nervous when talking to new people. also i cant even say that i don’t speak in any group chats bc there aren’t any for my course that i’m aware of.

i’m also a muslim so i feel like bc i cant go out and participate in freshers activities (drinking, going out, clubbing etc) i won’t make any friends. or maybe i will make a friend but due to them going out with others clubbing for example and me not being there, i’ll be forgotten, hence not making proper friends.

i’m planning to join the pro bono society however i feel like due to my a level grades i won’t be accepted so idk about societies too

does anyone have any advice/ has anyone overcome this? i’m just really nervous
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Pathway
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Just talk to the people you see around, in shops, lectures, whatever. Honestly, you're hyping this up to be harder than it is which will only worsen any associated anxiety. Meditate and journal to build up some healthy habits and learn how to manage stressful things. View this as a challenge, one that you've been in before. You've gotten through it before. No reason you won't this time.

Re: drinking. Irrelevant. No one worth your time will care if you don't drink.

Time is precious, it is a currency. Spend it wisely. There is only a finite amount of it afforded to you and you will not get a refund.
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ROTL94
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Same dept and university as me except I'm in third year, that's wild. Will you still be attending the tutorials or no?
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Anonymous #1
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Hello, I'm not a university student in the UK but I've grated from a university and I think my experience can help you. I'm happy to say that I'm sure you won't have a lot of trouble making new friends! Uni is very different from high school, you're not limited to your nearby community and people tend to be more open at this period of their life, and it's likely you'll have a lot in common with the people in your classes since you're interested enough in something to choose it as a major which is a great conversation starter.
I will say though that you will need to put in the effort to befriend people. Relationships are a two way street after all and if you're not putting in the effort it's unlikely other people will. Going to events that have alcohol, such as parties and barhopping, are in my opinion some of the best ways to get to know more people as alcohol makes people more open to deeper conversations, but that in no way means you need to be drinking as well if it clashes with your religious practice. Most people will understand if you would like to remain sober and those that won't are *******s anyway and aren't worth pursuing a relationship with. If those settings make you uncomfortable then just striking up conversation with people in your classes is a good starting point.
Also, not living in dorms and befriending your roommates is not something that'll hinder you in making friends, what kind of roommates you get is entirely up to chance so you might just end up with some people you don't click with anyway.
Wish you the best of luck!
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sophspark
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(Original post by jiminnn)
so i’ll be starting law degree this september at uni of leicester however i’m terrified i won’t make any friends.

i’m staying at home so i won’t have the opportunity to have flat tae’s as friends. and i’m an introvert so i feel very nervous when talking to new people. also i cant even say that i don’t speak in any group chats bc there aren’t any for my course that i’m aware of.

i’m also a muslim so i feel like bc i cant go out and participate in freshers activities (drinking, going out, clubbing etc) i won’t make any friends. or maybe i will make a friend but due to them going out with others clubbing for example and me not being there, i’ll be forgotten, hence not making proper friends.

i’m planning to join the pro bono society however i feel like due to my a level grades i won’t be accepted so idk about societies too

does anyone have any advice/ has anyone overcome this? i’m just really nervous
In the exact same position, law degree, travelling from home, muslim exceptt im going to reading. Also extremely socially awkward. 😞
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Oxford Brookes University
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(Original post by jiminnn)
so i’ll be starting law degree this september at uni of leicester however i’m terrified i won’t make any friends.

i’m staying at home so i won’t have the opportunity to have flat tae’s as friends. and i’m an introvert so i feel very nervous when talking to new people. also i cant even say that i don’t speak in any group chats bc there aren’t any for my course that i’m aware of.

i’m also a muslim so i feel like bc i cant go out and participate in freshers activities (drinking, going out, clubbing etc) i won’t make any friends. or maybe i will make a friend but due to them going out with others clubbing for example and me not being there, i’ll be forgotten, hence not making proper friends.

i’m planning to join the pro bono society however i feel like due to my a level grades i won’t be accepted so idk about societies too

does anyone have any advice/ has anyone overcome this? i’m just really nervous
Hello jiminnn,

Hope you are doing well!

I was in a similar situation when I started university, I am also a law student. I had decided that I wanted to live at home and commute, so I did think that I would probably end up not making any friends. The thing that really helped me was that I was able to join freshers Facebook group chats, as well as a group chat for my course. Since you are not aware of any I would suggest perhaps having a search on Facebook, just in case there is one made by students that are also attending your university and are for your subject. In my personal experience I found, that for me speaking to people in group chats made me feel a bit more at ease.

I am also a Muslim, I was worried that Freshers would be something that I could not participate in; not only because of the going out but also because of the late timings of those events. However at my university at the time they were holding a variety of different events, so I would attend the events during the day and then go home before the friends I made would be heading out. I was lucky enough to find a group of people who respected my beliefs and would at times go out of their way to do activities and events that were suitable for me, they made sure I did not feel left out. I am sure if you were to explain, many people would be understanding and if they are not, then perhaps they are not the people you want to be friends with. But do not feel that you have to go out to enjoy freshers, because there is more to Freshers than just the partying. More universities in recent years hold events that are more inclusive, because they are aware that not all students drink or like going out. So try to see if your university have any of these events as well.

Societies are a good way to get to know people, I would recommend joining them if you want to do so. Most societies do not really have anything to do with the grades that you achieved at A-Level, in my experience that was never even a question before joining societies; but I guess every university is different. Have a look at other societies that may interest you as well, I joined many societies during my first year. However I then found that due to the amount of independent study time my degree required I had to lessen the societies I involved myself in. I am now in my third year and am still involved in my university's Law Society and Islamic Society. So do have a look around, because societies allow you to socialise with people you otherwise may not have met.

You are nervous and I understand, however I think it is always important to remember that when starting university everyone is in a similar boat; even though their situations may be different. Most people will be feeling nervous as well, but after you ease into your new routine and get used to the environment I am sure you will be fine! I understand that with the current situation you may find it hard to socialise as much as would have been possible before, however a lot of universities are holding online Freshers events this year, so try and see if you can get involved in those if your university is offering any.

I hope I was able to help with my personal experience! If you have any questions or would like me to elaborate further on anything I have mentioned, then please do feel free to ask, I would be more than happy to help!

All the best,

Shaf
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jiminnn
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(Original post by ROTL94)
Same dept and university as me except I'm in third year, that's wild. Will you still be attending the tutorials or no?
i don’t know how it’ll be with the current virus and everything (my first lecture is on the 19th october) but that’s so cool!! how are you finding the course, must be hard being a third year
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jiminnn
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(Original post by Oxford Brookes University)
Hello jiminnn,

Hope you are doing well!

I was in a similar situation when I started university, I am also a law student. I had decided that I wanted to live at home and commute, so I did think that I would probably end up not making any friends. The thing that really helped me was that I was able to join freshers Facebook group chats, as well as a group chat for my course. Since you are not aware of any I would suggest perhaps having a search on Facebook, just in case there is one made by students that are also attending your university and are for your subject. In my personal experience I found, that for me speaking to people in group chats made me feel a bit more at ease.

I am also a Muslim, I was worried that Freshers would be something that I could not participate in; not only because of the going out but also because of the late timings of those events. However at my university at the time they were holding a variety of different events, so I would attend the events during the day and then go home before the friends I made would be heading out. I was lucky enough to find a group of people who respected my beliefs and would at times go out of their way to do activities and events that were suitable for me, they made sure I did not feel left out. I am sure if you were to explain, many people would be understanding and if they are not, then perhaps they are not the people you want to be friends with. But do not feel that you have to go out to enjoy freshers, because there is more to Freshers than just the partying. More universities in recent years hold events that are more inclusive, because they are aware that not all students drink or like going out. So try to see if your university have any of these events as well.

Societies are a good way to get to know people, I would recommend joining them if you want to do so. Most societies do not really have anything to do with the grades that you achieved at A-Level, in my experience that was never even a question before joining societies; but I guess every university is different. Have a look at other societies that may interest you as well, I joined many societies during my first year. However I then found that due to the amount of independent study time my degree required I had to lessen the societies I involved myself in. I am now in my third year and am still involved in my university's Law Society and Islamic Society. So do have a look around, because societies allow you to socialise with people you otherwise may not have met.

You are nervous and I understand, however I think it is always important to remember that when starting university everyone is in a similar boat; even though their situations may be different. Most people will be feeling nervous as well, but after you ease into your new routine and get used to the environment I am sure you will be fine! I understand that with the current situation you may find it hard to socialise as much as would have been possible before, however a lot of universities are holding online Freshers events this year, so try and see if you can get involved in those if your university is offering any.

I hope I was able to help with my personal experience! If you have any questions or would like me to elaborate further on anything I have mentioned, then please do feel free to ask, I would be more than happy to help!

All the best,

Shaf
hi!! you mentioned that you’re in the law society, do you recommend it? there isn’t a lot of information on what you’d do exactly there so i’m hesitant to join
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ROTL94
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(Original post by jiminnn)
i don’t know how it’ll be with the current virus and everything (my first lecture is on the 19th october) but that’s so cool!! how are you finding the course, must be hard being a third year
Apparently they're going to explain next week exactly how their blended learning approach is going to work. I'm a bit surprised that it's taking them so long to start doing lectures but eh, nothing we can do about it. Yeah, it's been alright, no major complaints. Yeah, hard and good at the same time only have to do 3 exams this year and most importantly once it's done I'll graduate, which will be fantastic. But yeah if you go to tutorials, I don't know if they're still going to do it, but they do group work in first year which they put you with your tutorial group for, which should give you the opportunity (unless you get put in a **** group) to make some friends.
Last edited by ROTL94; 1 month ago
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Oxford Brookes University
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(Original post by jiminnn)
hi!! you mentioned that you’re in the law society, do you recommend it? there isn’t a lot of information on what you’d do exactly there so i’m hesitant to join
Hi jiminnn

Yes I personally would recommend joining your university's law society, in my experience they hold networking events as well as other social events which allow students to be able to speak to people in the legal profession. These events can give law students an insight into the different sectors of the legal profession, my university also held many pro bono events which I attended and I can now use to show some experience. So I think it would be worth having a look at your university's law society, perhaps try to see the types of events they have held in past years and see if you feel like you would like to join. Is there any particular reason why you are hesitant to join?

I hope I was able to help. If you have any further questions, please do feel free to ask and I would be more than happy to answer.

All the best,

Shaf
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Pathway)
Just talk to the people you see around, in shops, lectures, whatever. Honestly, you're hyping this up to be harder than it is which will only worsen any associated anxiety. Meditate and journal to build up some healthy habits and learn how to manage stressful things. View this as a challenge, one that you've been in before. You've gotten through it before. No reason you won't this time.

Re: drinking. Irrelevant. No one worth your time will care if you don't drink.

Time is precious, it is a currency. Spend it wisely. There is only a finite amount of it afforded to you and you will not get a refund.
(Original post by jiminnn)
so i’ll be starting law degree this september at uni of leicester however i’m terrified i won’t make any friends.

i’m staying at home so i won’t have the opportunity to have flat tae’s as friends. and i’m an introvert so i feel very nervous when talking to new people. also i cant even say that i don’t speak in any group chats bc there aren’t any for my course that i’m aware of.

i’m also a muslim so i feel like bc i cant go out and participate in freshers activities (drinking, going out, clubbing etc) i won’t make any friends. or maybe i will make a friend but due to them going out with others clubbing for example and me not being there, i’ll be forgotten, hence not making proper friends.

i’m planning to join the pro bono society however i feel like due to my a level grades i won’t be accepted so idk about societies too

does anyone have any advice/ has anyone overcome this? i’m just really nervous
heyyy im also going to uni of leicester for law this september!
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