In a very bad position at uni

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So I’m currently at uni and honestly I’m really pissed off. Literally everyone in my block seems to be getting on with their flatmates and making friends apart from me, like I honestly have tried everything but it’s obvious that they don’t want to be friends so I’ve just given up with them. Also to make things worse all my friends from back home keep saying how much they like their flatmates and how outgoing they all are.
This is just pissing me off as I dropped out of uni last year due my course not being right for me and also because I just wasn’t clicking with anyone and it’s happening again.
I just don’t know what to do because I’d say I was actually quite a sociable person and I’ve never had any difficulty making friends before so either I’m just extremely unlikeable or I’m just very unlucky. Also to make things worse my university is being extremely stupid and have pretty much cancelled all societies and lectures so there’s no other way of making friends and we’re banned from interacting with neighbouring flats, I tried talking to them the other day but security told me off.
So until COVID 19 goes away I can’t make any friends but it’s not gonna just disappear so it’s pretty much set in stone that I will have no friends for at least a year and idk what to do.
Last edited by Interrobang; 4 weeks ago
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Ki Yung Na
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Having dropped out before. Remember that your first goal , is to get your degree. It can prove very helpful if you’re the right person for it.

As for socialising, I sympathise, that sounds awful. And it’s going to get worse or feel worse - or at least has the potential to do so.

My only suggestion is to present in the flat when the others are around, as much as you possible can.

Eventually they’ll ease up? Usually happens.

You don’t know what’s coming. It could be really good. So try not to force feeling like you have to do anything out of your way — people will see it as trying too much, for some that may just feel unwelcoming or too sociable.

Irony, it might just be you are a sociable person and they’re less comfortable at being so. or they’re superficial and have judged you to be something.

The only way to counter that is to just be easy when you are around them. Small chat here and there will raise trust and comfort between flatmates - eventually a favour or two or a walk to the shop or something will happen.

The rest is just being nice. Don’t worry so much or pressure yourself so much. First thing is first - you wanted a degree when you arrived. Second is, you will find the right circle or circles when luck decides the time is right. For now, this is not in your control! Don’t feel pressured to be and to do, it can backfire and hurt your mental health in worse way or bad way compared or relative to how you feel right now.

Best wishes,
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Popsiclez
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Same I can relate. It's not that my flatmates are bad or anything is that we rarely ever congregate or get together as a flat. If I'm lucky I'll see one person in the kitchen at a time, before they leave. and COVID is making it hard like you said to pursue other avenues of making friends like societies
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I’m currently at uni and honestly I’m really pissed off. Literally everyone in my block seems to be getting on with their flatmates and making friends apart from me, like I honestly have tried everything but it’s obvious that they don’t want to be friends so I’ve just given up with them. Also to make things worse all my friends from back home keep saying how much they like their flatmates and how outgoing they all are.
This is just pissing me off as I dropped out of uni last year due my course not being right for me and also because I just wasn’t clicking with anyone and it’s happening again.
I just don’t know what to do because I’d say I was actually quite a sociable person and I’ve never had any difficulty making friends before so either I’m just extremely unlikeable or I’m just very unlucky. Also to make things worse my university is being extremely stupid and have pretty much cancelled all societies and lectures so there’s no other way of making friends and we’re banned from interacting with neighbouring flats, I tried talking to them the other day but security told me off.
So until COVID 19 goes away I can’t make any friends but it’s not gonna just disappear so it’s pretty much set in stone that I will have no friends for at least a year and idk what to do.
1, You should be able to manage minimal friendly relations to those in the flat. Have you been out for or cooked a meal or just had beer and pizza? Why are you unable to make friends with them?
2. In any event you should proceed in looking after your mental and physical health. exercise, meditation, keep on top of coursework.
3. Focus on reading, decent TV and exploring the area.
4. Put up some notices for anyone else looking for friends plus a brief description selling yourself as a potential friend. There will be many others in your situation.
5. Do some volunteering just to get out.
6. Have the uni societies totally shut down?
Last edited by Interrobang; 4 weeks ago
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