kearnsay
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I'm taking a year out, so I'm in the process of applying through UCAS for next september from home. I live probably about 40 miles from where I want to go to university, but my family own an apartment about 6 miles from the university and want me to move into there. However, I really want to move into student accommodation so that i get that full first-year experience of living with new people etc but my family think it's a waste of money.

I'm trying to talk to them about how my maintenance loan will cover the majority of my rent, and how i'm saving up from my current job to have at least a couple of grand extra but it seems like whatever i do, they're just so disapproving. They keep saying that it's my choice etc one day but then the next they're saying 'We'll see what your grades are like' (I'm resitting a couple of subjects because i didn't get the grades i want) and i just find it unfair.

this should be my choice, I will be 19 when i start university. i do understand their point of view, but they don't try to understand mine. How do i have this conversation with them, when most conversations like this turn into an argument?
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Casojbiomed
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(Original post by kearnsay)
I'm taking a year out, so I'm in the process of applying through UCAS for next september from home. I live probably about 40 miles from where I want to go to university, but my family own an apartment about 6 miles from the university and want me to move into there. However, I really want to move into student accommodation so that i get that full first-year experience of living with new people etc but my family think it's a waste of money.

I'm trying to talk to them about how my maintenance loan will cover the majority of my rent, and how i'm saving up from my current job to have at least a couple of grand extra but it seems like whatever i do, they're just so disapproving. They keep saying that it's my choice etc one day but then the next they're saying 'We'll see what your grades are like' (I'm resitting a couple of subjects because i didn't get the grades i want) and i just find it unfair.

this should be my choice, I will be 19 when i start university. i do understand their point of view, but they don't try to understand mine. How do i have this conversation with them, when most conversations like this turn into an argument?
Hey!

I am sorry that you are experiencing this and hopefully, you can resolve it soon.

Personally, I haven’t dealt with a situation like this but I do know what it feels like when the choices you try and make in your life are disapproved by your parents. If this was my situation, I would make it very clear that at the end of the day it’s your own life and that you’re responsible for it, if you make a mistake, it’s for you to learn from!

you’ve got to realise that you can’t please everybody and you shouldn’t waste your time trying to make everybody around you happy when the choices are to do with your own life. Life is too short to live it for other people! But take that advice lightly, that isn’t to say that you should party through your degree because sod what everybody else thinks!
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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(Original post by kearnsay)
I'm taking a year out, so I'm in the process of applying through UCAS for next september from home. I live probably about 40 miles from where I want to go to university, but my family own an apartment about 6 miles from the university and want me to move into there. However, I really want to move into student accommodation so that i get that full first-year experience of living with new people etc but my family think it's a waste of money.

I'm trying to talk to them about how my maintenance loan will cover the majority of my rent, and how i'm saving up from my current job to have at least a couple of grand extra but it seems like whatever i do, they're just so disapproving. They keep saying that it's my choice etc one day but then the next they're saying 'We'll see what your grades are like' (I'm resitting a couple of subjects because i didn't get the grades i want) and i just find it unfair.

this should be my choice, I will be 19 when i start university. i do understand their point of view, but they don't try to understand mine. How do i have this conversation with them, when most conversations like this turn into an argument?
Their viewpoint is understandable and they are probably worried about you - its a hard time for parents when their children move out, especially in the current circumstances. However, you are an adult, and you need to make decisions based on your own future, as you do not benefit by not doing things just to make others happy!! I would recommend living in halls if this is what you want to do, as it can be a bit harder to meet people in the first few weeks, however if you do live in the apartment, I know people who commute who still manage to have a good social life, and you'd be a lot closer than they were!

Sophie - Official Student Rep
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