Left home, no support

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Kffh
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I left home at 17 a few months ago bcs my parents were too strict, I had to follow their beliefs and wasn’t allowed out and had to dress in a way that was approved of. I mended things with them eventually and today spoke to one of the staff at school who was not nice about the situation at all. My mum told me that school said when I left that I was making a big mistake and I feel really hurt that ppl have felt it’s okay for them to say that when they’ve had no idea what I’ve been through
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Kffh)
I left home at 17 a few months ago bcs my parents were too strict, I had to follow their beliefs and wasn’t allowed out and had to dress in a way that was approved of. I mended things with them eventually and today spoke to one of the staff at school who was not nice about the situation at all. My mum told me that school said when I left that I was making a big mistake and I feel really hurt that ppl have felt it’s okay for them to say that when they’ve had no idea what I’ve been through
I'm really sorry that that staff member said that, it definitely wasn't okay for them to do so. Are you able to speak to the headteacher at your school about it?
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Kffh
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
I'm really sorry that that staff member said that, it definitely wasn't okay for them to do so. Are you able to speak to the headteacher at your school about it?
The staff member who said it is very senior in the administration herself, I don’t think I am. My school only cares about grades and attendance to care their reputation up. But I feel so broken. She basically accused me of lying
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Kffh)
The staff member who said it is very senior in the administration herself, I don’t think I am. My school only cares about grades and attendance to care their reputation up. But I feel so broken. She basically accused me of lying
I think you should make a complaint because that really isn't okay for her to do.
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MidgetFever
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Do you have anyone you can stay with? A friend or another relative?
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Kffh
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(Original post by MidgetFever)
Do you have anyone you can stay with? A friend or another relative?
My friends and extended family who know of the situation are very supportive as are my bf and his family who I stayed with when I left home. I want to make things okay at home but I don’t like other ppl assuming stuff about what is best for the situation or me
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Kffh
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
I think you should make a complaint because that really isn't okay for her to do.
I want to but idk who to complain to
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Demmandere
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so what is the current situation with your parents. Have they compromised with you or are they still really strict
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Kffh
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(Original post by Demmandere)
so what is the current situation with your parents. Have they compromised with you or are they still really strict
They don’t have a choice, they’ve compromised but they still try forcing their views down my throat. Especially my mum, she has an issue with me every 2 days but I’m dealing with that and I was things to be okay with my family. I just feel like I’m being blamed for everything that went wrong bcs ‘parents know what’s best for you’
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Demmandere
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(Original post by Kffh)
They don’t have a choice, they’ve compromised but they still try forcing their views down my throat. Especially my mum, she has an issue with me every 2 days but I’m dealing with that and I was things to be okay with my family. I just feel like I’m being blamed for everything that went wrong bcs ‘parents know what’s best for you’
Are they like religious or something
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TheUltimateHulk
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I’m assuming you are south Asian?
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Kffh
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(Original post by Demmandere)
Are they like religious or something
Religious would be an understatement
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Kffh
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(Original post by TheUltimateHulk)
I’m assuming you are south Asian?
Correct
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Demmandere
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Do you even dress in a really revealing way or are they ott. Because im Pakistani and my sisters and the girls in my area dress in a western way just as long as they don't show cleavage or dress like sluts.
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Kffh
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(Original post by Demmandere)
Do you even dress in a really revealing way or are they ott. Because im Pakistani and my sisters and the girls in my area dress in a western way just as long as they don't show cleavage or dress like sluts.
Honestly, I don’t know of my religious beliefs but when I was with my parents I couldn’t express that. I don’t dress in a really revealing way all the time, that’s rare and even then I wouldn’t consider it slutty. Just might not wear denier 150 tights with a dress on a boiling hot day
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Kffh)
I left home at 17 a few months ago bcs my parents were too strict, I had to follow their beliefs and wasn’t allowed out and had to dress in a way that was approved of. I mended things with them eventually and today spoke to one of the staff at school who was not nice about the situation at all. My mum told me that school said when I left that I was making a big mistake and I feel really hurt that ppl have felt it’s okay for them to say that when they’ve had no idea what I’ve been through
You did 100% the right thing.

If I were 17 years old again I'd move out from the parental home, even if life there were a bed of roses. Because I value my freedom and independence very highly. And being totally self-reliant is easy enough in the modern world. It's not like anyone needs to go out hunting or farming in order to eat any more.

The staff member at your school is quite entitled to have their 100% incorrect opinion.
Their narrow minded opinion makes no real difference to you.

You living as independent adult now will give you a good advantage when you go off to uni. You will be used to looking after yourself whilst also keeping up with your studies. The majority of 18 year old students will be crossing this hurdle for the first time.
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Kffh
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
You did 100% the right thing.

If I were 17 years old again I'd move out from the parental home, even if life there were a bed of roses. Because I value my freedom and independence very highly. And being totally self-reliant is easy enough in the modern world. It's not like anyone needs to go out hunting or farming in order to eat any more.

The staff member at your school is quite entitled to have their 100% incorrect opinion.
Their narrow minded opinion makes no real difference to you.

You living as independent adult now will give you a good advantage when you go off to uni. You will be used to looking after yourself whilst also keeping up with your studies. The majority of 18 year old students will be crossing this hurdle for the first time.
Thankyou, you have no idea how much this means to me rn. Everyone from my school to my social worker said I didn’t do the right thing bcs my parents only want the best of me with their rules but yes; I will always remember how free I felt when I held my bf’s hand in an Asda aisle the first night I left
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Kffh)
Thankyou, you have no idea how much this means to me rn. Everyone from my school to my social worker said I didn’t do the right thing bcs my parents only want the best of me with their rules but yes; I will always remember how free I felt when I held my bf’s hand in an Asda aisle the first night I left
Just goes to show how brainwashed / narrow minded / "let's be a goody goody" / socially conditioned many of the people working in secondary education are.

The people at your school and local social services have no idea.

No idea how much better off you are now you've moved out from your parental home.

The people that tend to be the most successful in adult life are the ones that don't follow the herd and are independent instead. Independent thinkers and independent doers.
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Kffh
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Just goes to show how brainwashed / narrow minded / "let's be a goody goody" / socially conditioned many of the people working in secondary education are.

The people at your school and local social services have no idea.

No idea how much better off you are now you've moved out from your parental home.

The people that tend to be the most successful in adult life are the ones that don't follow the herd and are independent instead. Independent thinkers and independent doers.
You’re absolutely right, moving out doesn’t mean I care about my family less. I just care about myself a lot too
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