How do I subtly remove a narcissist

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Ok so I dated a narcissist, she loved bombed me at first (what narcissists do) I was in a vulnerable state with my mental health & she took advantage of this.
Well I learned she was a pathological liar, everything that came out of her mouth was lies, she cheated on me numerous times, she would never admit to it but I knew, she showered me with love & I foolishly stayed with her, I was very depressed, she broke me down to the point where I heavily relied on her, then she was seeing someone else & basically manipulated me to break up by keep starting arguements & blaming me, I had no choice she forced it. We agreed to be friends, but now seeing her far less & healing I can clearly see what she is, I researched everything, I’ve pin pointed that she is a vulnerable narcissist, she has EVERY SINGLE TRAIT! To name a few - she hated me seeing my friends or having any fun, she’s super competitive with everyone, she doesn’t like you having any confidence, she breaks down your self esteem, very manipulative, has loads of sob stories to get people to give her attention (all ********), she talks bad about everyone, is envious of everyone, she gets jealous of everything that you enjoy that isn’t her (even gaming), she will pretend to be ill loads to get attention, she is very vindictive, there’s loads more tbh.
Anyways my situation is she knows a lot of personal stuff about me that I shared, we are friends but I want her out of my life really, issue is narcissists can turn on you bad if you insult them or just cut them off, they will try to destroy you, I feel she would do this, what I’m thinking is as I only see her every few weeks is to just do things like not give her validation she always craves, not react when she tries to get emotional reaction, not join in her games, not act bothered, never contact her first and maybe she’ll eventually tire of me & move on and get her attention elsewhere..?
What do you guys think? I’m very distressed with all this, she has really broken me down but I’m now fully seeing what she is and want to slowly move her out my life with no dramas, any advice would be much appreciated, please help!
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gracelrobineon
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#2
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i’d suggest doing subtle things that you know she won’t like and ease into pissing her off? if you start completely ignoring her or giving her no validation she might completely turn on you.
maybe a back handed compliment now and again? do you have a friend that could pretend to be your girlfriend (might hurt her ego and make her ignore you)?
this is a very edgy situation. she sounds very manipulative so she’s probably be able to spot what you’re trying to do straight away
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gracelrobineon)
i’d suggest doing subtle things that you know she won’t like and ease into pissing her off? if you start completely ignoring her or giving her no validation she might completely turn on you.
maybe a back handed compliment now and again? do you have a friend that could pretend to be your girlfriend (might hurt her ego and make her ignore you)?
this is a very edgy situation. she sounds very manipulative so she’s probably be able to spot what you’re trying to do straight away
Hi thanks for reply, I wasn’t planning on completely ignoring her more like not always giving her validation, like just being more casual maybe once in a while giving her a compliment, tbh if I pretended to like another girl that’s when she’d react bad, she’s very jealous. If I just act more laid back & not react to her little manipulation attempts from what I’ve read narcissists get bored if they are not getting emotional reactions from pushing your buttons.
It is a tough situation for sure, just thinking of ways to slowly move her away without it exploding into drama.
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Rufus the red
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Allow a carbon monoxide leak to go undiscovered in their house.
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gracelrobineon
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi thanks for reply, I wasn’t planning on completely ignoring her more like not always giving her validation, like just being more casual maybe once in a while giving her a compliment, tbh if I pretended to like another girl that’s when she’d react bad, she’s very jealous. If I just act more laid back & not react to her little manipulation attempts from what I’ve read narcissists get bored if they are not getting emotional reactions from pushing your buttons.
It is a tough situation for sure, just thinking of ways to slowly move her away without it exploding into drama.
that’s probably the best why to react.
she might also of been enjoying the fact you relied on her so much so maybe showing her how independent you are now, she’ll probably move on to the next person once she realised you don’t need her anymore (she’s probably still hoping you will become reliant on her again)
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Sabertooth
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Tell me about it man, we've been trying to impeach one over here. :no:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gracelrobineon)
that’s probably the best why to react.
she might also of been enjoying the fact you relied on her so much so maybe showing her how independent you are now, she’ll probably move on to the next person once she realised you don’t need her anymore (she’s probably still hoping you will become reliant on her again)
Yeah it’s exactly what she wants (me to be reliant on her) when I next speak to her I’ll just come across as I’m fine & be casual, I know she loves it when I compliment her & say I’ve missed her etc, I notice she doesn’t like it when I say I’ve been meeting friends etc. She’s a very evil person, I can see it now, she even has evil eyes.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
Tell me about it man, we've been trying to impeach one over here. :no:
They are really evil people ain't they, she really broke me down to almost nothing, my self esteem has been demolished. It’s like a game to them.
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Anonymous #1
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Any more advice would be welcome
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Anonymous #2
#10
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Sounds exactly like my ex...

Just block her on everything and avoid contact irl. It’s the only way to get out of this mess forever.
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sunny.side.up
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so I dated a narcissist, she loved bombed me at first (what narcissists do) I was in a vulnerable state with my mental health & she took advantage of this.
Well I learned she was a pathological liar, everything that came out of her mouth was lies, she cheated on me numerous times, she would never admit to it but I knew, she showered me with love & I foolishly stayed with her, I was very depressed, she broke me down to the point where I heavily relied on her, then she was seeing someone else & basically manipulated me to break up by keep starting arguements & blaming me, I had no choice she forced it. We agreed to be friends, but now seeing her far less & healing I can clearly see what she is, I researched everything, I’ve pin pointed that she is a vulnerable narcissist, she has EVERY SINGLE TRAIT! To name a few - she hated me seeing my friends or having any fun, she’s super competitive with everyone, she doesn’t like you having any confidence, she breaks down your self esteem, very manipulative, has loads of sob stories to get people to give her attention (all ********), she talks bad about everyone, is envious of everyone, she gets jealous of everything that you enjoy that isn’t her (even gaming), she will pretend to be ill loads to get attention, she is very vindictive, there’s loads more tbh.
Anyways my situation is she knows a lot of personal stuff about me that I shared, we are friends but I want her out of my life really, issue is narcissists can turn on you bad if you insult them or just cut them off, they will try to destroy you, I feel she would do this, what I’m thinking is as I only see her every few weeks is to just do things like not give her validation she always craves, not react when she tries to get emotional reaction, not join in her games, not act bothered, never contact her first and maybe she’ll eventually tire of me & move on and get her attention elsewhere..?
What do you guys think? I’m very distressed with all this, she has really broken me down but I’m now fully seeing what she is and want to slowly move her out my life with no dramas, any advice would be much appreciated, please help!
im sorry to hear about all these things. :console: my mother is a narcassist and also a emotional/mental abuser (physical in the past). it is so hard to deal so i understand your frustration. my mom does the same sh*t. everyone just tells me ignore her, ignore it, but like you cant. :no: they play mind games with you and are so minipulative. i would just slowly ease from talking to her (dont like tell her you are unfriending or you dont wanna talk anymore) and if she notices and says something say you've been busy or whatever. hopefully eventually yall will just forget about one another.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
im sorry to hear about all these things. :console: my mother is a narcassist and also a emotional/mental abuser (physical in the past). it is so hard to deal so i understand your frustration. my mom does the same sh*t. everyone just tells me ignore her, ignore it, but like you cant. :no: they play mind games with you and are so minipulative. i would just slowly ease from talking to her (dont like tell her you are unfriending or you dont wanna talk anymore) and if she notices and says something say you've been busy or whatever. hopefully eventually yall will just forget about one another.
Hi thank you for the reply. I’m also sorry to hear your mother is a narcissist, they are so horrible to deal with & really wear you down. I will try with not contacting her first & if she does contact me I will just be casual & try not get pulled into the drama/games. Yes I’m hoping she will just move on tbh, it’s a really horrible situation, it’s really messed me up as I have anxiety & depression already.
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sunny.side.up
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi thank you for the reply. I’m also sorry to hear your mother is a narcissist, they are so horrible to deal with & really wear you down. I will try with not contacting her first & if she does contact me I will just be casual & try not get pulled into the drama/games. Yes I’m hoping she will just move on tbh, it’s a really horrible situation, it’s really messed me up as I have anxiety & depression already.
your welcome love. :hugs:i hope all goes well and you can get out of this situation. xx
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sounds exactly like my ex...

Just block her on everything and avoid contact irl. It’s the only way to get out of this mess forever.
Unfortunately it’s not that simple for me. She knows a lot of personal stuff about me, I’m an anxious private person, I shared a lot of my deepest secrets with her, a lot of trauma, a lot of my true mental health struggles where I’ve been suicidle, narcissists are dangerous where if I just totally cut contact she’d react bad & try to really hurt me, most likely by exposing my secrets, this would be horrible for me, I think I need to do it in a more subtle slow way unfortunately.
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Scottishlad888
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Ignore her and block her on everything
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
Ignore her and block her on everything
See above message mate, I don’t want to cause drama as she will try destroy me
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Anonymous #1
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So basically I think the best way to go about this would be to slowly disengage with her, not give attention, validation etc this is gonna be tough but needs to be done
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dora999
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Go grey rock, AKA completely unresponsive emotionally, uninteresting so on.
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dora999
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Check out grey rock method
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by dora999)
Check out grey rock method
(Original post by dora999)
Go grey rock, AKA completely unresponsive emotionally, uninteresting so on.
Hi dora, yeah I’ve actually watched some videos on that today, I like it, only thing is what if she questions like “why are u being strange?”or “why you being quiet, different?”
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