First night at uni and I hate it

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
It’s my first night at uni and everything I feared has come true. I thought I’d be fine but I hate it and can’t think of anything worse than staying.

I’m not feeling particularly excited about my course and I’ve not even started yet, I’ve only met a couple of flat mates and they’re nice but they don’t really care about the whole coronavirus situation so I’m worried about that too.

I feel horrendous and desperately want to go home. I know it’s silly as I’ve not given it a chance, and I have to move out at some point. Anyone have any perspective?
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DrawTheLine
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s my first night at uni and everything I feared has come true. I thought I’d be fine but I hate it and can’t think of anything worse than staying.

I’m not feeling particularly excited about my course and I’ve not even started yet, I’ve only met a couple of flat mates and they’re nice but they don’t really care about the whole coronavirus situation so I’m worried about that too.

I feel horrendous and desperately want to go home. I know it’s silly as I’ve not given it a chance, and I have to move out at some point. Anyone have any perspective?
This feeling is completely normal and you definitely aren't alone. It'll be totally different to what you've been used to for the first 18 years of your life (I'm assuming your age here, sorry if I am wrong) so it makes total sense that you're not comfortable.

What exactly do you hate about it?

I would definitely not make any hasty decisions, give yourself 2 or 3 weeks to fully settle in. I remember as soon as my dad left after moving me into uni, I just sat in my room and cried. The realisation hit me that I was totally alone, 200 miles away from home and it felt pretty overwhelming. It's important to allow yourself to experience those emotions and process how you're feeling, but also don't let them stop you from enjoying yourself and settling in properly.

Fingers crossed you feel better soon! From my experience, it does get better.
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Surf
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I cried for hours after arriving at uni. I proceeded to cry every night in my room for 2-3 weeks. Even months into uni I sometimes felt the need to cry. You are not alone.

I don't think I ever stopped being homesick - I just learned to live with it. When it was all consuming (and wanted nothing more than to pack my bags and find the local station), I just said to myself - you have to wait until Christmas before making a decision. If that was too much, I would simply say "anyone can make it through the next day".

What really helped me was phoning home every night for the first 3 weeks or so. Can you do this? Try to distract yourself - does your course have anything you could revise for? Are there hobbies you enjoy doing?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
This feeling is completely normal and you definitely aren't alone. It'll be totally different to what you've been used to for the first 18 years of your life (I'm assuming your age here, sorry if I am wrong) so it makes total sense that you're not comfortable.

What exactly do you hate about it?

I would definitely not make any hasty decisions, give yourself 2 or 3 weeks to fully settle in. I remember as soon as my dad left after moving me into uni, I just sat in my room and cried. The realisation hit me that I was totally alone, 200 miles away from home and it felt pretty overwhelming. It's important to allow yourself to experience those emotions and process how you're feeling, but also don't let them stop you from enjoying yourself and settling in properly.

Fingers crossed you feel better soon! From my experience, it does get better.
Thank you 🙂
It’s just very overwhelming I think. I really hate drinking/clubbing/pubs etc, so most social activities are awful. I don’t think any societies or anything will be able to meet due to the 6 person group limit. I went out tonight with a few people and they were all lovely but all I could think was how much I didn’t want to be there. I can’t even invite a couple course mates round to my flat to chill because of covid rules so meeting people is going to be next to impossible.
I’m fairly close to home, and I’m 20 which makes it so much worse- I feel so silly for feeling this way 😅
I’ve never really spent time away from home so all these big changes happening at once have been a huge shock to the system.
I can’t tell if I really just am not suited for it here or if I just need to give it time, but I feel really awful and can’t see how it’ll change.
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hward201
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I’ve just started my second year at uni and in my first year I felt the exact same way you did, I cried so much and for the first month really wanted to go home, I didn’t get along with my flatmates and hadn’t really made any close friends. I told myself to give it until Christmas because then you can tell yourself that you really gave it a try. Honestly, it’ll take time, I’ve only been back at uni a week now and even though I now have friends and live with people I like I still feel so homesick and have cried many times. For me it helps to plan things like trips home so I can have something to look forward too. With the current situation it will take more time to feel settled but so many people will feel the same way as you, myself included sometimes.
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glitterwitch
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It's my first night tonight and I hate it. I've got clinical anxiety (social anxiety) so my homesickness is awful. And Cardiff has just gone into local lockdown so I won't be able to get home easily. I'm trying to take my mind off things but all I want to do is go home. I'm also really worried because I find it hard to find my way around places, but I'm too anxious to ask anyone for help. I know it'll probably get better but I also wouldn't be surprised if I became suicidal again. I'm sending love and hugs, and please don't read too much into my comment. I just felt like venting.
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Scotney
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(Original post by glitterwitch)
It's my first night tonight and I hate it. I've got clinical anxiety (social anxiety) so my homesickness is awful. And Cardiff has just gone into local lockdown so I won't be able to get home easily. I'm trying to take my mind off things but all I want to do is go home. I'm also really worried because I find it hard to find my way around places, but I'm too anxious to ask anyone for help. I know it'll probably get better but I also wouldn't be surprised if I became suicidal again. I'm sending love and hugs, and please don't read too much into my comment. I just felt like venting.
Take care glitterwitch but first nights are awful. My worst point was not being able to get my superskinny new jeans off because they were so tight and realising I could not get anyone to help. Had to cut them off while sobbing! Things did get better.
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