Relationship affecting studies?

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Anonymous #1
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Hi! I’m in need of some advice at the moment. I’m in year 13 and I’ve recently started talking to a guy. I really like him and I know he likes me a lot too but we are not currently dating for reasons irrelevant to this post. However, we will most likely date in the future. Anyway, I’m doing my A levels this year and need to study hard obviously but I lack a lot of motivation and have terrible time management skills. Now I’ve started talking to him, it seems to have got worse because I will avoid doing my homework by talking to him and then I regret it so much later on. I’ve never been someone who places so much importance on relationships at my age so I’m so disappointed that I am being like this. It honestly has nothing to do with him because if I told him I need to do work, he would honestly encourage me and not talk to me for as long as I need to get the work done but the problem is that I don’t want to so I don’t say anything.

I don’t want to hurt him or lose him by asking for space but at the same time, I’m so worried for my grades... I hope someone can help

TL;DR I’m talking to a guy (both doing A levels this year) and we like each other a lot but I avoid studying by talking to him. I don’t tell him I’m busy because he would make me do my work. I’m worried about hurting or losing him if I ask for space?
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Anonymous #2
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How does he manage his time then? I’m sure you could talk to him once a day or something and focus on your studies or everytime you take a break? You need motivation so him telling you to do your work is a good thing no?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How does he manage his time then? I’m sure you could talk to him once a day or something and focus on your studies or everytime you take a break? You need motivation so him telling you to do your work is a good thing no?
I’m not sure how he does it tbh... We haven’t really talked about it. The problem is that once we start talking, it’s so hard to stop. And yes, him telling me to do my work is a good thing, but I have to tell him that I need to do my work in the first place, which i dont do because I want to talk to him and procrastinate my work...
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m not sure how he does it tbh... We haven’t really talked about it. The problem is that once we start talking, it’s so hard to stop. And yes, him telling me to do my work is a good thing, but I have to tell him that I need to do my work in the first place, which i dont do because I want to talk to him and procrastinate my work...
You could ask how he manages his time etc. Maybe arrange some study ft calls? But out on things because of a boy is never a good idea. Do you talk to him for the whole day?
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amazolizard
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi! I’m in need of some advice at the moment. I’m in year 13 and I’ve recently started talking to a guy. I really like him and I know he likes me a lot too but we are not currently dating for reasons irrelevant to this post. However, we will most likely date in the future. Anyway, I’m doing my A levels this year and need to study hard obviously but I lack a lot of motivation and have terrible time management skills. Now I’ve started talking to him, it seems to have got worse because I will avoid doing my homework by talking to him and then I regret it so much later on. I’ve never been someone who places so much importance on relationships at my age so I’m so disappointed that I am being like this. It honestly has nothing to do with him because if I told him I need to do work, he would honestly encourage me and not talk to me for as long as I need to get the work done but the problem is that I don’t want to so I don’t say anything.

I don’t want to hurt him or lose him by asking for space but at the same time, I’m so worried for my grades... I hope someone can help

TL;DR I’m talking to a guy (both doing A levels this year) and we like each other a lot but I avoid studying by talking to him. I don’t tell him I’m busy because he would make me do my work. I’m worried about hurting or losing him if I ask for space?
Hey, I completely understand your concerns. I had a relationship during sixth form (we're still together and both in our gap years now) and I can honestly tell you that we were each other's biggest motivators when it came to our A levels. We knew there was no time to mess about because at the end of the day this is our futures we're messing with. My advice to you is that if this boy is truly the right one for you then when you distance him when you need to focus and study, he will understand and do the same. If he gets mad and decides to leave you or lets say gets bored...he was never worth it from the beginning. So keep your head up and always communicate your feelings to your partner otherwise it'll only create problems for you. Best of luck in your A levels, prioritise your studies and make this final year of working towards getting amazing A levels count! You'll thank yourself in future for all your hard work x
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You could ask how he manages his time etc. Maybe arrange some study ft calls? But out on things because of a boy is never a good idea. Do you talk to him for the whole day?
Thanks for the advice. I might try those things. I know it’s not a good idea, which is why I’m a bit upset I don’t want to lose him but I do see my a levels as more important than him, especially because there’s no guarantee what we have will last.

Yes, we talk for pretty much the whole day or at least whenever we are not in lessons. I don’t really realise how fast the time goes by talking to him which is also really bad :/
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by amazolizard)
Hey, I completely understand your concerns. I had a relationship during sixth form (we're still together and both in our gap years now) and I can honestly tell you that we were each other's biggest motivators when it came to our A levels. We knew there was no time to mess about because at the end of the day this is our futures we're messing with. My advice to you is that if this boy is truly the right one for you then when you distance him when you need to focus and study, he will understand and do the same. If he gets mad and decides to leave you or lets say gets bored...he was never worth it from the beginning. So keep your head up and always communicate your feelings to your partner otherwise it'll only create problems for you. Best of luck in your A levels, prioritise your studies and make this final year of working towards getting amazing A levels count! You'll thank yourself in future for all your hard work x
Thank you so much for your response and advice. I really appreciate it

I know for a fact that he will 100% let me focus and study and he even won’t let me talk to him if he knows that I need to study but I have trouble telling him I guess Do you think I should outright tell him that I want to talk less so I can get more done or just message him later on? Because I know he would be really understanding either way but I’m not sure what to go with?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the advice. I might try those things. I know it’s not a good idea, which is why I’m a bit upset I don’t want to lose him but I do see my a levels as more important than him, especially because there’s no guarantee what we have will last.

Yes, we talk for pretty much the whole day or at least whenever we are not in lessons. I don’t really realise how fast the time goes by talking to him which is also really bad :/
They are more important. Don’t prioritise a lad over anything. You won’t lose him if you speak to him. Whenever you’re about to study, just tell him or don’t. Just disappear and be like sorry I was studying lmaoo. Start in the morning. I think it’ll make it easier. Maybe study for 2/3 in the morning then you’ll have the whole day with him butt Wow ngl that’s kinda cutee.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
They are more important. Don’t prioritise a lad over anything. You won’t lose him if you speak to him. Whenever you’re about to study, just tell him or don’t. Just disappear and be like sorry I was studying lmaoo. Start in the morning. I think it’ll make it easier. Maybe study for 2/3 in the morning then you’ll have the whole day with him butt Wow ngl that’s kinda cutee.
I don’t mean to prioritise him but i suppose that is exactly what I’m doing you’re right, I should just tell him how I feel or just leave him on delivered :teehee: he doesn’t mind when I do anyway. He knows I’m busy and not ignoring him :lol: Oh thanks haha :blushed: thank you so much for your help!! You have really helped :hugs:
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ROTL94
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This thread warmed my heart gotta be honest. You shouldn't leave him on delivered though, just be honest and transparent about the fact you need time to pursue your studies in peace and you cannot go wrong.
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amazolizard
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much for your response and advice. I really appreciate it

I know for a fact that he will 100% let me focus and study and he even won’t let me talk to him if he knows that I need to study but I have trouble telling him I guess Do you think I should outright tell him that I want to talk less so I can get more done or just message him later on? Because I know he would be really understanding either way but I’m not sure what to go with?
No problem!
I think you should tell him as soon as you can whether it's over text or when you see him irl (as he's really understanding) that you're going to really focus ur A levels this year so that would mean talking to him less and not having so much of a social life but you still feel the same way about him.
I hope that helps!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ROTL94)
This thread warmed my heart gotta be honest. You shouldn't leave him on delivered though, just be honest and transparent about the fact you need time to pursue your studies in peace and you cannot go wrong.
Aw haha thanks :blush: you’re right. I always tell him when I won’t be able to reply so I don’t see why this should be any different. Thank you so much for your help!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by amazolizard)
No problem!
I think you should tell him as soon as you can whether it's over text or when you see him irl (as he's really understanding) that you're going to really focus ur A levels this year so that would mean talking to him less and not having so much of a social life but you still feel the same way about him.
I hope that helps!
Thank you so much for all of your help. You have been so helpful :hugs: I was going to tell him today but we had a bit of a problem today so we had to talk that out lol now that it’s sorted, I think I’ll tell him on Monday thanks again!
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