My friends left me due to Islam

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Hi
I used to live in somewhat progressive muslim country before coming here to study
After being exposed to western education I decided to become an agnostic
Because I didn't have another idea about life before and Islamic views were the only views I knew
But when I told my friends and family back home they all decided to cut their relationship with me
Some of my family still talk to me
But majority of my friends stopped communicating with me
My family and friends think that religion is the most important thing in life and that it doesn't matter if you live miserably now cause you will be happy in the afterlife
They also believe in death punishment of the infidels and homosexuality
I am a female and most of my female friends were in arranged marriages after high school they were married off to men whom they didn't choose or have a choice in the marriage
Before that they were not allowed to talk to men or interact with them
Anyways our friendship was very strong and we shared so many things I am shocked that they would prefer religion over me?
Isn't religion what made them oppressed as females? They were not allowed to go out with friends they were not allowed to go to mixed schools or even get jobs after graduation and most off them were forced to marry men they never met before!
I was blessed with somewhat more lenient family but the girls in my family were still inferior to men.
Now I have no friends but the ones who weren't that religious to begin with and some of my family members don't speak to me anymore!
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Daisy02
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Hi, i'm so sorry to hear this has happened
At least you are now able to study in a country which respects diverse views and religions. You are free and will never have to be forced into a marriage against your will.
Those in your family who are still talking to you are your true family - the others are not. True family would never betray you on the basis of religion.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Daisy02)
Hi, i'm so sorry to hear this has happened
At least you are now able to study in a country which respects diverse views and religions. You are free and will never have to be forced into a marriage against your will.
Those in your family who are still talking to you are your true family - the others are not. True family would never betray you on the basis of religion.
That's true the ones who still talk to me are in denial and act as am still a muslim ! They keep asking me to marry someone back home!!! They don't respect my decision if I was a man they would probably not care but woman cannot have choice in my society
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Anonymous #2
#4
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Your friends sound very judgemental. Just ignore them and move on .There are some liberal muslims, others very strict . Same with Christians too . Find a group that are nice regardless of faith . Maybe join an atheist society at your university
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londonmyst
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You are better off without them.
Don't waste your time or emotion on vicious people who only want to control and impose their noisy nonsense upon you.
Bullies like to bully, liars like to lie and misery loves company.

Sadly all religions, countries and groups contain an unpleasant few who thrive off being nasty to others.
My grandmother is a toxic bible basher in her 80s, my parents are revolutionary socialist tua's and my best friend is a follower of the shia islamic sect led by the aga khan.
My best friend and her family have always been great, while all my surviving ancestors are toxic sources of noise nuisance.

Focus on all the positive people in your life who are caring, friendly and sensible.
Most people in the world are reasonable and pleasant.
You don't need any migraines, insults or exposure to toxic waste.
Good luck!
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TheProphetsPath
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You know, I was raised in an English muslim family and no one in my family has faced the problems of yours’ and this “oppression” you talk of isnt present in mine - despite being practicing muslims. So, you should give your conclusion about islam some more proper thought.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi
I used to live in somewhat progressive muslim country before coming here to study
After being exposed to western education I decided to become an agnostic
Because I didn't have another idea about life before and Islamic views were the only views I knew
But when I told my friends and family back home they all decided to cut their relationship with me
Some of my family still talk to me
But majority of my friends stopped communicating with me
My family and friends think that religion is the most important thing in life and that it doesn't matter if you live miserably now cause you will be happy in the afterlife
They also believe in death punishment of the infidels and homosexuality
I am a female and most of my female friends were in arranged marriages after high school they were married off to men whom they didn't choose or have a choice in the marriage
Before that they were not allowed to talk to men or interact with them
Anyways our friendship was very strong and we shared so many things I am shocked that they would prefer religion over me?
Isn't religion what made them oppressed as females? They were not allowed to go out with friends they were not allowed to go to mixed schools or even get jobs after graduation and most off them were forced to marry men they never met before!
I was blessed with somewhat more lenient family but the girls in my family were still inferior to men.
Now I have no friends but the ones who weren't that religious to begin with and some of my family members don't speak to me anymore!
I would blame the culture rather than the religion
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jjo9978
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I dont think you should base islam on your situation, my sister is the best muslim I know, and she has no restrictions that are hard for herhe is allowed to go out whenever, marriage is completely her decision, she is in no way inferior to any man in my family, she went to a mixed school, Uni and job, and btw I am a boy and I go to a boys only school, I dont sit here and accuse Islam of oppressing men? Ofcourse this is all surface level knowledge, there are other things to consider but it all has reasons, some of which I do not know as I am not fully educated in this, point is oppression in Islam is non existent, maybe in culture which is not the same ..
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CyclinZH1
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If they favor an ideology above you as a person, they aren't very good friends.

Make new, better ones.
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m.s124
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In islam you are not meant to judge others for their religion or beliefs
im sorry that your friends cut you off for your beliefs
its best you leave them and look for more positive people in your life
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ddarkprince)
Hi, sorry for the long reply but I wanted to tell you thisOk life is about perspective, you view things from your point of view only you won't understand what is driving people around you to make certain decisions.

First of all your life and treatment of you and women is based on cultural practices within your country that you lived in if you were hindu, or Christian certain aspects would be the same, like the views of a Christian family in mexico, usa, India Sweden would all have a different way of life and that is not based solely on the religion but the ways, customs and cultural practices of the family's that are living there. The rights given to women in Islam compared to the rights women had 1400 years ago and in any other religion, Islam wins hands down furthermore I would say you need to change your perspective and not look through the eyes of a strictly western perspective which is that of high level brainwashing you to believe that their way is the only way and right way, which they used to do many bad things and justify it.

Second thing Islam is a interesting thing the more educated you are and the more understanding you have about science and the world around you the more you can believe in Islam but only if you do your own research and not listen to the media which is controlled to make you think religion and Islam are wron g which is not true. Also you cannot judge the religion based on the wrong practices you see by your family, cousins and friends etc.

Please search for a person called Mohammed hijab on YouTube and watch his videos he covers homosexuality and many other things while he debates. He gives an explanation that the universe had to come from somewhere, something cannot come from nothing. A dependent relationship has to rely on an independent relationship he explains it better but the gist is there has to be a God and if God exists we would be his creation. God would give guidance to us his creation and we as Muslims believe it is the Quran and our prophet. Islam is a continuation of the religion Christianity which also is a continuation from judaism. Jesus himself talks of a future prophet to come deliver the final message. Islam is a religion of evidence, if you look at all the prophecy s that our prophet predicted have come true and if you see that the Quran talks of science that modern day scientists have just discovered and a lot of science and maths we use today in modern life have actually come from Islamic scholars who took the knowledge from the Quran and Islam, it shows a trend of evidence.

Search on you tube miracles found in the Quran and be amazed.Nowadays many people like our parents say or believe in the wrong thing because their understanding of Islam comes from word of mouth but not studying or research. You can find out the truth yourself and then fix their understanding.The thing about In lslam is there is no compulsion, you can not follow it if you choose but I feel you will be making a mistake that may have consequences in the afterlife.

your family and friends may have distanced themselves from you because they are afraid of falling on the wrong path o r cannot deal with it emotionally because again the consequences in the afterlife are grave and if you cared for someone deeply then that would weigh in your mind every day.If you say to family and friends you might have made a mistake and will start researching on Islam again to see if it is the right religion or something you believe in and ask them for their help I guarantee you they will start talking to you and you would not be lying to them if you do research Islam to see if it is the truth.I will pray for you,

but in the end of the dAy make the decision that's right for you. There are those who no matter what evidence you put infront of them they will be blind to the truth do not follow them be open minded and just do your own research.

I literally find it is fate that I have found your question that's why I am answering it in such length. Arrange marriage is cultural practise but studies show they are more successful. Also the more understanding you have about science the more you understand how limited it is and fallible it is. Again Mohammed human explains why Islam is the truth using science and logic please just check out his videos.
Your reply is indeed long! But I didn't leave islam cause it contradicts with science I left it cause I was forced to be a muslim forced to wear hijab forced to pray I never had a choice of weather I wanted to be a muslim or not and that is why I left because it didn't add any value or meaning to my life it only added more restrictions that I didn't need.
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Lilymae69
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Where are you from?

Also theyre not your true friends but i can understand what ur saying. hope you have a good life
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Ddarkprince
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I sent you another reply but it's waiting for moderation team to view it.

Also I forgot to add that if you can understand the science behind Islam and can see it's the truth then you shouldn't say your agnostic. There are two things you need to be Muslim that is to believe there is only one God and believe that Mohammed is his messenger. The rules are something you can deal with in time there are many Muslims who don't follow every rule their is.

It does add value to your life, because you are not alone if you ask and pray for help you will get it. You share in a brotherhood of Islam if you ask for help and forgiveness you will get it. You don't have to be unhappy in this life again some people are too extreme in the way they follow Islam if you tell your family and friends you made a mistake and you found the rules to hard and you want to follow Islam in your own way and slowly add to it I guarantee they will be happy you are just Muslim but parents will moan here and there they can't help it

When your young there many things you want to do and you might feel religion is restricting that but like I said you can follow what you can and then later when your more mature and your life and responsibility s are different you can follow more rules there are just more reward for doing it when your younger as people will tell you but they themselves may have done crazy things when they were younger. Just follow what you can for now but stay Muslim as that is more important I believe but it's up to you we all have to follow our own hearts and minds I am gonna go eat now. I hope you found something in what I had to say and find happiness
Last edited by Ddarkprince; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #4
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I'd advise you to go to your local imam/sheikh and clarify any issues you have
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Ddarkprince
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I will try reporting my previous reply which didn't go through

Here's the thing everybody has a different view of Islam and what must be followed and to what level. I can understand how you feel I felt the same and rebelled against it. But then I had many things happen in my life that proved to me personally that God exists and then I decided I would follow Islam in a more relaxed way but I would learn and follow it at a pace I liked. So I didn't pray 5 times i only prayed on friday, then I decided to understand the English of what I am praying in namaaz and I went to hajj which was such an amazing experience. I now try to pray when I can but don't beat myself up if I don't pray everyday because it's a marathon not a sprint.

I personally don't believe that a woman needs to wear a hijab all the time because men are not leering all the time, some women are like 60 and no guy is gonna be leering at her she wouldnt be leading men astray. Certain things people put their own meaning but it's not clear cut, at the end Islam has ruled for prevention but intention of your heart is also important. When I get married I would prefer my wife not to wear hijab that's me personally, if she went to a place where guys were leering and etc then it would mAke sense to put a scarf on but that's up to her.

I am sorry to hear people forced certain views on you, but you don't have to go so extreme in following rules you can always follow more rules when you are older and you are ready. I hope you understand what I am trying to say, some people say you have to wear hijab but the thing is they don't know 100% they don't know what God wants there is no clear cut sentence in Quran telling women they have to wear human it's a bit open to debate at the end of the dAy you do your own research and make the decision because ultimately you bare the consequences not others.
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Mr T 999
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Religion and culture are two different things. Asian people do things there may not be based on religion but simply do it due to the culture and traditions.

Its like how a Pakistani family may want their kids to marry someone Pakistani and not some outsider even tho in the religion its perfectly acceptable to marry anyone who is Muslim.
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buttercroissant
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi
I used to live in somewhat progressive muslim country before coming here to study
After being exposed to western education I decided to become an agnostic
Because I didn't have another idea about life before and Islamic views were the only views I knew
But when I told my friends and family back home they all decided to cut their relationship with me
Some of my family still talk to me
But majority of my friends stopped communicating with me
My family and friends think that religion is the most important thing in life and that it doesn't matter if you live miserably now cause you will be happy in the afterlife
They also believe in death punishment of the infidels and homosexuality
I am a female and most of my female friends were in arranged marriages after high school they were married off to men whom they didn't choose or have a choice in the marriage
Before that they were not allowed to talk to men or interact with them
Anyways our friendship was very strong and we shared so many things I am shocked that they would prefer religion over me?
Isn't religion what made them oppressed as females? They were not allowed to go out with friends they were not allowed to go to mixed schools or even get jobs after graduation and most off them were forced to marry men they never met before!
I was blessed with somewhat more lenient family but the girls in my family were still inferior to men.
Now I have no friends but the ones who weren't that religious to begin with and some of my family members don't speak to me anymore!
Going away for studies somewhat puts a stop to communications. Even if you didn't disclose the fact you're agnostic, your friends would've still gotten busy with their uni/marriage life. As for your family, is it really worth keeping in contact with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are? Besides you're in a new place, a place where finding diverse minded people is easier than say where you came from. Use this as an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends.
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Anonymous #5
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They weren’t your friend
One of my old friends became left the religion and on multiple occasions bullied me for believing in God, and shoved a bacon sausage/ pork meals in my face telling me to eat it and not in a joke-y way ...
my closest friends are Hindu and being of a different religions should never be a barrier
Having a nasty personality is what should end friendships not differences in faith
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