Anonymous #1
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I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 20 and personally we don't see the age as a problem. We're both equally mature and can both drive etc but I was wondering how people may take this socially. My friends and his friends don't see it as a problem but we want to tell our parents about our relationship.

What do you think of it?
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Anonymous #1
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Interea
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Is it legal? Yes. Will it make people potentially uncomfortable? Also yes. I'm 19 and I can't imagine dating a 16 year old, no matter how "mature" they acted - they still have noticeably less life experience and it can lead to some bad power dynamics, so people are maybe going to be a little concerned by it if they care about you and want to make sure you're safe.
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redflavor
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as a 20 year old myself, it would personally be really weird for me to date someone your age because i still see you as a child. i thought i was very mature when i was your age but as i grew older i found out it 100% wasn't the case.

i'm not gonna shame you or anything of course, live your life how you want but please be careful out there. if your parents happen to get upset by this remember that they just want you to be safe
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by redflavor)
as a 20 year old myself, it would personally be really weird for me to date someone your age because i still see you as a child. i thought i was very mature when i was your age but as i grew older i found out it 100% wasn't the case.

i'm not gonna shame you or anything of course, live your life how you want but please be careful out there. if your parents happen to get upset by this remember that they just want you to be safe
(Original post by Interea)
Is it legal? Yes. Will it make people potentially uncomfortable? Also yes. I'm 19 and I can't imagine dating a 16 year old, no matter how "mature" they acted - they still have noticeably less life experience and it can lead to some bad power dynamics, so people are maybe going to be a little concerned by it if they care about you and want to make sure you're safe.
I see what you're getting at, do you think it would be better for us to remain as friends and then date again at 18? We've considered that before and I wouldn't mind
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londonmyst
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It's fine as long as nothing illegal is going on, your are both happy and everything is consensual.
Different people have different relationship preferences and some people can be very nosy or rude about other people's choices.
I date with a 15+ year age gap.
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MadameRazz
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i think its weird personally.
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dj_ad_1
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How are you 16 and driving. I hope the police catch you.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I see what you're getting at, do you think it would be better for us to remain as friends and then date again at 18? We've considered that before and I wouldn't mind
i would probably wait. it lets you mature a bit more but also it allows the relationship not to be built on a power imbalance which could potentially lead to abuse/reliance in the future where you are unable to leave.
i would recommend waiting until you’re 18, as when you reach 18 you may realise that you would never date someone who’s 16 or it will just solidify your feelings for each other while also still having the respect from your parents (who probably wouldn’t respect your bf with him being 20 and you 16 now)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by dj_ad_1)
How are you 16 and driving. I hope the police catch you.
Okay, I don't drive publicly, just on my land
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JustOneMoreThing
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Nothing wrong with it.

Don't listen to people talking about potential abuse and reliance, a lot of people are very keen on turning topics like this into production.

There's nothing wrong with it as long as both of you are happy.

Your parents might have a different view though, so I would be cautious about that.
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dj_ad_1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay, I don't drive publicly, just on my land
Its still illegal to drive whether its in public or not.
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JustOneMoreThing
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(Original post by dj_ad_1)
Its still illegal to drive whether its in public or not.
Incorrect

https://www.intotheblue.co.uk/blog/2...at%20any%20age.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by dj_ad_1)
Its still illegal to drive whether its in public or not.
No it's not, do your research. As long as you have permission from the land owner anyone, of any age can drive without needing any sort of legal documents (like a drivers liscence)
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Anonymous #3
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It's weird. I know it's legal, but ive no idea what a 20 year old sees in a 16 year old.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by JustOneMoreThing)
Nothing wrong with it.

Don't listen to people talking about potential abuse and reliance, a lot of people are very keen on turning topics like this into production.

There's nothing wrong with it as long as both of you are happy.

Your parents might have a different view though, so I would be cautious about that.
Thank you, I kinda of didn't understand why people were mentioning that. I understand that I'm at a young and possibly vulnerable age but I'm confident that I know what I'm doing. If my parents dislike it, I get why and I'd willingly just stay friends with him if it hurt them to that extent
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay, I don't drive publicly, just on my land
seems like you’re just trying to prove you’re mature enough to date ... maybe deep down you know it is somewhat wrong (morally not legally)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's weird. I know it's legal, but ive no idea what a 20 year old sees in a 16 year old.
The same that they see in a person their age
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Plain1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, I kinda of didn't understand why people were mentioning that. I understand that I'm at a young and possibly vulnerable age but I'm confident that I know what I'm doing. If my parents dislike it, I get why and I'd willingly just stay friends with him if it hurt them to that extent
I was confident when I was 16. I look back now and realise how immature I was.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
seems like you’re just trying to prove you’re mature enough to date ... maybe deep down you know it is somewhat wrong (morally not legally)
No, I just know people are going to say that we're in different points of our life and that he can drive and is in uni and I'm not. That's the only reason i brought it up
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